How can I stop getting mad at my husband?
My husband has done so many things that have made me mad over the last ten years that almost anything can trigger a memory that makes me get mad all over again. Of course he always had a reason that justified it to him, so he thinks I am crazy.
There are so many things - just saw an ad for a lawn game I used to play which reminded me how he got rid of my nice croquet set, lawn tennis, bocci ball, wicker furniture, hammock, laundry line,cut down trees, mowed flower beds, and that's just the yard.
When I was in the hospital fighting leukemia, he refused to bring the baby because it was too hard. I could have died without seeing my 8 month old! He gave away all the baby stuff- furniture and clothes I was saving for a second child without telling me.
He threw out my bookcases, well you get the idea.
I don't throw things of his out.
I want to get away but my daughter is against it, so I would be broke, sick and by myself. Yes, I am in therapy.
2007-06-10 04:14:36 · 13 answers · asked by Eve 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not a believer in leaving without a plan, like getting or finishing your education so you can be employed in a field that will pay you enough to live without his help.
You do have to let go of all the small things he has done to negate your presence in his life, his nonsense is his to own, not yours to live with. If you daughter has been so influenced as to always take her fathers side, and she treats you as she sees her father treat you, then it may be a mistake for you to want to be the parent with full custody. If your daughter can't see you are sick with anger at what hes done to you she may not be able to be a positive resource when you need her. Joint custody may be the way to go here for both you and your daughter.
2007-06-10 04:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilt that he pays the bills. You two struck a bargain and you are doing more than your part of the deal. You never get a day off and are on call any time they need something. Your husband works a regular hours that are predictable. You do not. You are not your husband and the roommate's servant. You are being taken advantage of. If talking doesn't help (hope it does) then sit down and write a list of reasonable jobs that you will do then the rest is up to them. Please include times for you to take a nap or do what you want to do. Ask for a whole day off. Slavery is illegal in the US but some men don't get that. You will be a better mom and wife if you get time for you. You are right it isn't fair. By example you are telling your child it is fair to own a slave.
2016-03-13 08:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband who throws his wife's stuff out has serious control issues. You stop getting mad and start getting even. Maybe you could go through the garage and sell his tool set, his engine block, etc. Remember that he does not own you. Tell him he is not your daddy. Remind him that if he doesn't quit throwing your stuff out, you'll just have to kick his @$$ to the curb! Good luck!
2007-06-10 04:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by Theodore H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is a control freak and until you stop being his wife, you will be mad...tired or not
he is not going to stop throwing things out, mowing stuff down, being inconsiderate, and demanding
i would NOT throw anything of his 'stuff' out, i WOULD see a lawyer and just win your husband's belongings in court or make him have to sell it all
your daughter is young, i am sure she will get over it, she would NOT get over her dad throwing HER stuff out and treating her like he treats you...she does not need to grow up thinking that it is normal for men to treat women like this.
there ARE shelters you can go to...it depends on you! YOU are the one that needs to either stay mad or get out...there is not a happy medium here, sorry to say
do you not have family or friends that would help you til you can get on your feet? if not, call the women's shelter in your area...that is what they are there for
2007-06-10 04:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, and you're still with this creep who obviously doesn't love or respect you. I like the part you wrote about how loving he was while you were fighting cancer. What a gem of a guy you have! Are you proud of being married to this creep? How much disrespect can you take? Have you ever considered talking to an attorney and filing for divorce? You need to.
2007-06-10 05:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter isn't living your life...YOU are. Get out (your husband is an azz and also needs therapy) and work on improving your life situation...and definitely keep up with your therapy!
2007-06-10 04:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw away some things that he care about so that he sees how this feels. When he sees the light he may change. Keep your stuff up and neat so that he has nothing to complain about.
2007-06-10 04:20:43 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Babeheart. It's time to go. And on your way out through out something that is really important to him. How about throwing him out?
2007-06-10 04:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by blastabuelliac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, he's always pissing you off and thinking about him makes you angry. Sounds like a normal marriage to me. Be happy, be a good wife, and do things to piss him off as well. Good luck!
2007-06-10 04:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one ur not crazy thats just what they want u to think when they cant come up with a good reason for their action. second dont put up with it. its ur stuff he dont respect u. demand it or tell him its time for him to step. third why do u need theropy? I see no other reason other than him. so get out of theropy stand up for urself. n demand that he repay u for ur things go to court if u must but demand urself the respect u deserve. not even ur mate has the right to get rid of ur stuff. thats urs.
2007-06-10 04:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋