I am currently going through a divorce with a very nasty custody battle. My estranged husband is spewing lies about me. For the most part he has been able to call and talk to our daughter when I have her (Which is 8 days out of 14) but there has been maybe 5 times in 2 months that he wasn't able to get through on the phone whether it be that we weren't here or we were using the phone line.
Thursday when I went to pick our daughter up for "my time" my ex began yelling at me about wanting to know where I work, the phone number to them and so on. He also began yelling at me for not being able to get through Monday night when he tried to call. I told him I had other things to do than just sit by a phone in case he wants to call. He blew up even more and when I yelled for our daughter to come on, he went and grabbed her saying "Remember what we talked about and how you promised to call. Daddy will try to call you but mommy probably won't give you the phone"
What would you do?
2007-06-10 04:06:28 · 14 answers · asked by roo_1683 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also have a restraining order against him. He was verbally and emotionally abusive throughout the marriage. He has already broke the restraining order 2 within just a week, yelling and harrassing me about different things.
If you would let your spouse call, how often and when?
2007-06-10 04:09:10 · update #1
The restraining order isn't a protective one. Thus he is allowed to call or come and get my daughter but he is NOT allowed to harrass me when he does. When I first left he would call me 3-4 times a day cussing me out and demanding for me to get back there or else he was going to get custody and make sure I never see our daughter again. I have reported the 2 recent times this past week that he broke the order by screaming and yelling at me, once on the phone once in person. My lawyer is filing the paperwork with the court.
I do not say anything negative about her father to her. I try to be happy and listen if she wants to talk about her visits with him and if she were to ask to call then I would gladly give her the phone. However, he is forcing the calling and wants one every night. She is only 5 and I think it is harder on her to be reminded every night that mommy and daddy are not together anymore.
I am taking her to a thearpy already. I have to deprogram her from his visits :0(
2007-06-10 08:00:18 · update #2
My kids can call or she can call any time they feel like it but i do not sit and wait for her to call either she gets through or she don't but we don't make a big deal out of it . I never put my kids in the middle of my fights with there mother all though she is completely insane just like your husband sounds . Don't make a big deal out of it with your kids the older they get the more they will see it isn't you . At first my ex started doing that and had the kids believing it was all me until they seen who the ranting maniac was now i have to almost force them to call her .
Ask yourself this if you where a kid who would you want to be around a smiling happy person and having fun or a loud mouth sad miserable oath . That's all kids are really going to remember
2007-06-10 04:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st let me tell you this . If you have a restraining order against him .he should not be calling or seeing you because its breaking the law and 2nd if you allow this you are not protecting your daughter and you too are breaking the law you are both hurting your child .and will pay the same price if someone doesnt take to protecting her ! However with all that said This is the one fact that cant be changed . "no matter what you do good or bad he will always be her father and you will always be her mothe there is no changing that go or bad !So get off your butt and do what right for the kid get over yourselves and out what good for the kid first . Whats right for you and him doesnt matter . That kid didnt ask for this tug of war between the 2 of you supposed adults !
2007-06-10 04:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by christitime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check what it says in your divorce decree and custody papers. Most allow for limited phone time each day. If this is the case, then contact your attorney and have him file an injunction with the court. Also remember, this is his time with the children and unless you allow him to call each evening to speak with them, don't expect him to do the same. Not sure what state you are in, but in some states you have to have the other parties permission to record a phone conversation. You have to let them know at the beginning of the conversation that the call is being recorded and they have to agree. If you live in a one party state, then you have nothing to worry about. In some states recording without permission is a felony, so be careful and check the law in your state governing this action.
2016-05-21 07:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him a specified time to call if he doesn't call then his problem. If your worried about confrontation when getting your child to visitations take a friend with your for support and also as a witness.. Best of luck and hope he will grow up and act like a father not the child..
2007-06-10 05:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by Don't make me beg!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't owe him any explanation and he is trying to turn your daughter against you, the next time he starts yelling at you i would call the police and also i would file a restraining order and go back to the courts and file for full custody, is he violent?
2007-06-10 04:12:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have always allowed my ex husband to call our daughter. He IS afterall her father whether he is my husband or not. It seems as if you need to learn how to sepearate your divorce from raising your child. Whatever feelings you and your husband have for each other should not be imposed upon your daughter from EITHER side and from what you say you are just as guilty as he is.
2007-06-10 09:24:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend, he's a divocee too, and he told me he miss his son very very much, i know that sometimes men can have a fiery temper, pls talk to him calmly, i hope your children would not get affected by you two.
2007-06-10 04:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by jade s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should not say insulting things about you to your daughter. Allow him to contact her. Just think of how you would want things if she were with him. Would you want to be able to contact her?
2007-06-10 04:13:50 · answer #8 · answered by Tyra99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That poor kid ! I would say let him talk to her anytime your available not special times thats your time when shes with you . Call your lawyer if he threatens you !
2007-06-10 04:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by wishingstar5555 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your daughter about what is going on. That is about all you can do.
2007-06-10 04:10:31 · answer #10 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋