I am going through a divorce in a somewhat small town where things spread like wild fire. I work in a place where a lot of people from this town come in and I hear a lot of rumors. I have 2 children that go to school and do activities here. Does nobody care if things get back to them? Its hurtful. I can't believe the untrue things I have heard about why my marraige split. The people I thought were my friends are saying such horrible things and they have no idea what they are talking about. I always feel like I have to defend or explain myself. Rumors are like opening a bag of feathers in the wind...you can only grab so many to get them back but the rest are spreading so far that you can't collect them. I know I know I shouldn't care what others think but I think everyone does to an extent.
2007-06-10 03:16:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel for you because a divorce is bad enough in itself without other people getting involved with the gossiping etc.
You cannot control what others say. I want to tell you to ignore what others are saying but I know this is easier said than done especially when children are involved.
Be strong for yourself and for your children. Hug them, always tell them you love them.
This too shall pass.
And yes, people tend to say bad things about others because it makes them feel better about their own SAD lives. I say this because anyone who is truly happy with themselves usually has no interest in hearing, talking or spreading negative untruths about other people.
So you should feel sorry for these people.
Good luck.
Smile.
C'mon, SMILE.
2007-06-10 04:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by OmiUbiaja 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are simply not happy unless they have someone else to talk about! It keeps their little secrets under wraps for as long as they can keep the attention on you. It must be very difficult for you just now, especially as you have children who hear these things. I don't know what you can do about it, other than telling good friends the truth. If you have at least one really good friend, I'm sure he/she will put the record straight for you, and those true stories will start to circulate. People love to find a scapegoat, and for some reason cannot always see that there are always at least two sides to a story. I am sure that these people didn't think up the stories on their own, but that your husband must have rushed out to tell "his side" of the story, so that he is the one looking like the badly done by one. You are right, it is difficult not to care what others think of you, especially when you live in a small town, and it seems as if everyone is against you.Hang in there, and I am sure that they will see the truth soon.
2007-06-10 03:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you're going through this phase in life. Sometimes defending yourself puts you in a worse position than just let it be. In case your children came to hear about all those rumours, then you'll have to explain it to them. Just like you say, rumours are like opening a bag of feathers in the wind, you can only grab so many to get them back, now let the rest fly away it will be washed away by the rain, don't worry. You still have a long road ahead. As for your so called friends, they can go gather more feathers and their prize? Weariness. Life's got better things to do than saying hurtful things. Chinese believe in retributions and that's what they'll get in the end.
2007-06-10 03:34:57 · answer #3 · answered by greentea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately when people split those were your friends end up taking sides and sometimes it's for your ex. Yeah a lot of people say horrible things due to jealousy, envy, insecurity and so on. Now a days people don't care about anyone but themselves and not too concerned who they hurt. Men don't give their seats to women and children anymore, people don't hold doors. People are just rude and don't care....it's sad because I am polite and have manners, I was raised that way and in a situation like yours would only have empathy and try to help, the majority too busy keeping up with the Jones' and snubbing those in need.
2007-06-10 03:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mom of Four 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A divorce is like that. People you thought were your friends will say the meanest things and side with your ex. You should use this opportunity to make other friends. If they are saying bad things about you or your divorce, they were never friends to being with. It's sad but true. Small towns are like that too. Everybody knows everyone else's business. Or at least they THINK they know.
2007-06-10 03:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sabina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason we feel that way sometimes (what other people think) is because what they are really doing is making a judgment and the benefit to that for those people is to have something in common to gossip about. If you have integrity and it sounds like you do, then you are not going to be worried about what other people say because you are going to only focus on what is true for you and not what others think is true.
2007-06-10 03:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by April First 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
on the grounds which you're a self based shallow individual who lacks empathy for others. Who relishes in different individuals's distress. think of of all the human beings ravenous in this international and you sense extra perfect approximately your own life? shame on you?
2016-11-10 00:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just live your life so that people can see that these things ar not true.
2007-06-10 04:14:41 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think so
2007-06-10 03:23:01 · answer #9 · answered by nightryder28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋