I was the one to open the secret to her, but now its a year and she doesn't want to let go. He is in a trap which could lead him to legal proceedings and bankrupcy. I am the only one for him as his family to has left him, after knowing about this affair. His wife is firm and is making all efforts for him not to get back to me. she had known him for many years before the marriage, and now cannot accept the fact that he has betrayed her. He says it will take a few years to get back together and in no way he wants to get back to his wife. We love each other too much.
2007-06-10 02:48:18 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one can force your man to do anything he doesn't want. Even if his wife doesn't want to leave, he can leave file for a divorce and leave her. No matter what she does, there is no way she can stop him from being with you.
Looks like he doesn't really want to leave his wife and family.
He is telling you that it will take a few years to get back together and no way he is going back to his wife. This sounds like a chicken way of stringing you along while he doesn't have to make a major decision to leave his marriage.
Why are you involved with a married man in the first place? How would you feel if you are in his wife's shoes?
My advise for you is to leave this relationship and find an available man who can love you without reservations and that you can walk out with your head held high.
2007-06-10 03:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Didi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should start getting over him..and find a MAN who loves you and makes you his #1... This man clearly does not have the same feelings toward you as you do for him...otherwise you'd be together...no matter what was in store~ good and bad. I know its difficult to accept, but this man doesn't love you..he's stringing you along and expecting that you'll wait a few years for him to sort out HIS life before you can "be together"...I bet he still gets "benefits" with you until that time..yes?
You need and deserve to find an unattached man...married or involved men are always a bad idea... it ends in heartache for numerous people... One more thing about being with married men.. you should stop. Would you like it if you were with the love of your life and a girl like you came along and had an affair with him... I bet you'd feel pretty awful and you'd do the same thing HIS wife is currently doing...trying to save the marriage.. Let him go sweety...you deserve better
2007-06-10 03:05:33 · answer #2 · answered by busymum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...all i could say is that you are in a trap. I would just leave them alone. Because the wife may come to look for you. If she is really firm she may be a danger to you and him.
Trust me I would not lose myself to a guy who already married and get myself beaten up in the end. This had happened to one of my best friends. She really like this guy but he was married. She took a risk. I told her not to because it can cause problems. two weeks later, I come to visit her at her home and I saw a scar on her neck and arm. I asked her what happened! She told me that the guy had tken her out on a date for dinner and after they left, the wife jumped out of the bushes towards my friend with a knife cutting her neck and arm, the wife ran away dropping the knife. the guy stayed with my friend until help arrived. When she was telling me this...she was crying non stop and could not sleep. This happened for real. To this day, she does not want to leave her home.
2007-06-10 10:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is YOU who can not accept that your love has no desire to leave his wife. It doesn't take "a few years" to end a marraige, so obviously he isn't going to end his marriage. Of course his family has left him because of you. You have destroyed this man's marriage, his family life and yet you keep hanging on. You are the consumate WHORE if ever there was one. What are you going to do when he finally looses everything and is licking the gutter? Will you be willing to lick it with him? IF you loved him you would send him back to his wife...
2007-06-10 10:02:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the story your married boyfriend told you? He says it will take a few years to get back with you? Hahaha! Obviously, you need a translation: What he is really saying to you is that "I'm not getting a divorce, I just wanted something on the side. Talk to ya in a few years sucker!" Obviously, you don't realize that no spouse can prevent the other from filing for divorce. The fact that he hasn't already filed should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. Bye, bye door mat!
2007-06-10 05:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a break and get some space. You need to clear your head, without HIS lies and influence to see the situation rationally. Being emotional/in love makes it hard to be objective.
But here are some facts. If he loves you, and himself, and truly wants to be happy, then he will decide to move ahead with the divorce. Yes, he will lost money, but having real love and happiness is always more important.
PS: When people are REALLY done with a marriage, they dont care WHAT they lose - they want out, period, at all costs.
Stop meeting his needs while he is NOT meeting yours.
Test him, it's your life, and you need to find out if he really loves you or himself more.
2007-06-10 03:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this man truelly wants to be with you he can go file for divorce and be with you. He doesnt need his wifes permission to leave. If he is doing this and is still with her he is making up excuses because hes not ready to let go of her.
Some men are just afraid and they dont know what they really want. He could be telling you one thing and his wife a total different story. It happens. I know it is hard to believe because you love him.
If I were you, I would tell him to either leave his wife and move forward with you or end the situation because he is just using you. If he really loves you he will put his foot down and not let his wife control him. NO EXCUSES!! good luck
2007-06-10 02:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay I'll be honest....I think that you are stupid to think that his wife is suppose to leave because you told her that you were having an affair with her husband. I think that you should be the one to leave the situation since they are married and have been before you came along and wrecked their lives. I think that you are doing everything in your powers to make this wife leave her husband, but like it has been previously mentioned...if he wanted to leave her he would have left already. And if she leaves him I'll bet that he will try his hardest to get back with her. So to save yourself from more years of pain and heartache I say back off and find yourself someone whose not attached. Good luck!!!
2007-06-10 03:14:04 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone that is unattached. You knew he was married when you met him and you seem surprised that he is still married. Right now he has his cake and he is eating it, too. Tell him it is over. If he really wants to be with you, then he will make a way. If he wants to be with his wife, than that is where he will stay. It is the only way you will find out.
2007-06-10 03:13:48 · answer #9 · answered by Tyra99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man vowed to stay married to his wife until his death.....why should she give him up and do you not suppose he once loved his wife as much as he now professes to love you. It seems however he did not love you enough to reveal his secret perhaps the fact you betrayed him and told his secret will be in fact the break of trust that will prevent his faith in you from growing all power to this wife who took her wedding vows seriously
2007-06-10 04:52:55 · answer #10 · answered by may_his_peace_be_with_you 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋