what do you do if your new wife doesn't except your child from a previous marriage!?

Question

at first she said it would take some time to get use to the idea ,but that was 3 years ago and now we are married and she cant handle it because every time she sees my child she sees my ex-wife so what do i do

Answer 1

Actually, it's accept. To be sure, she is "excepting" the child.

Semantics aside, it's time for you to decide which relationship is more important - the one with your innocent child or the one with your jealous wife. I dare say it's pretty obvious who gets kicked to the curb in this scenario. Some day you'll find a woman who accepts you exactly as you are, child and all.

Answer 2

This is a very bad situation for you and I'll bet you're torn. I'm sure you love your wife and want to remain married to her, but you also obviously love your child. If you wife hasn't accepted your child for the past 3 years, she most likely never will. 3 years is, quite frankly, too long. You've been very patient here. You can not push aside an innocent life just because you chose to marry an immature adult who can't cope. You really need to think long and hard about the type of person you married and how happy you actually are with her. There are so many women out there who are mature and could handle this situation well, who would give their right arm to be with a wonderful, loving man such as yourself. Sure, you could give your wife the option of leaving the house for the weekend while you are with your child, but would that make you happy? Sure, you could suggest that the two of you go to counseling, but do you think that her feelings would actually change? Don't you really want to be with someone who will laugh and get down on the floor and play with your child and run around the yard having fun? I'm sure that even the thought of getting a number 2 divorce has already kept you in this unhappy situation. Let me ask you this. Do you think you would be happier living alone and searching for a dynamite, fun-loving girlfriend who will totally have fun with your child. Or, would you be happier staying married to a person who never will accept your child?

Answer 3

You should've made sure this part of the situation was settled before you married her! Even if it took 10 years, you should've made sure they got along and she was okay with the child before you took that next step. This woman sounds insecure about your previous relationship. The best way to handle it is to have your ex-wife and your new wife together in social settings so your new wife can see that you are committed to her, and the more she gets to know your ex, the more she'll feel comfortable that your ex is no match for her!

Answer 4

See how sneaky some women can be, she knew right from the start that she wouldn't be able to except your child, she just figured that she would marry you and then later tell you that she couldn't take it because the child reminds her of your previous relationship, (wow did you screw up, you picked a real loser, if she's that jealous your not going to have a pleasant road ahead, I can see it now) she figured that she already had you and she could figure out later how to make you shun your responsibility's, like not having him/her on weekends. When you do have your child she's probably going to show her resentment to this poor kid, your really going to have your work cut out for you, the years ahead are going to be a nightmare for you and your relationship with your child. I'll tell you what I would do because you asked, I would put my foot down right now, and let her know that if she intends to make my life and my childs life miserable because of her jealousy that I'm out of here!!!!! I can tell the type now, she'll throw a fit and cry her eyes out and say you don't love me, boo hoo, and I'd say look you knew that I had a child when you married me, you should have told me right from the start if you knew that you couldn't handle it, you just figured that you could manipulate me, and cause the relationship between my chid and I to become nonexsistant, well I wouldn't let her get away with this, I'd let her know that my child comes first, and if she can't except that, oh well, and do what you have to do. Just remember your child came first, he/she didn't ask to be born. I came from a family like this and I know first hand, my stepmother made my life miserable, she even went so far as to do things and blame them on me, the last time she did that I had a witness, thank God, and they told my Father what really happened, and he finally said, "if this is true she's out of here," and he did and she was gone, but I was fourteen by the time this happened, my life was already mess up and miserable because he didn't make the move earlyier. You can tell this one hit home, this is the longest yahoo answer I've ever given, it really got to me. !!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

If after 3 years she had not accepted your child, why did you marry her? I have been a stepmom and I know it is not easy. You have to work at it. You current wife does not need to have any contact with your ex=wife. I suggest serious conseing for you and your wife. Your child knows how your wife feels and that is not good. Do you have weekend visitations? If not maybe you could spend time with your child without your wife being present. Sounds to me that she is the one with the problem and she needs to work on it. Have a serious talk with her and tell her she needs to back off as far as your child is concerned.

Answer 6

If she loved you she can except that she wasnt the only woman. I think she has a jelousy problem. Tha child is a part of you nomatter what and she needs to understand that. She should be more than happy that you have a child. Children are a beatiful thing. And i am guessing this child is a very ipmortant part of your life. Maybe she is not ready for marrige if she cant except this child

Answer 7

TRY to make her understand that you and your child are a package deal. If she loves you and wants to be with you, then both come together and no other way. She also needs to know that your son is very important to you. I raised my last wife's 4 children along with having my own son on the weekends and the month of July. Neither one of us had an issue with the others children. I LOVED THEM ALL...

Answer 8

That depends on your priority. If you are a father first and husband second, your choice is to protect the child. If you want to be husband first, you have find a way to place your child. Basically, your current wife is narrow-minded and have this imaginary turf war going for a long long time.

Answer 9

When you two married, she knew you were a "package deal". Children come first! When I was married (now my ex) I welcomed his children to our home. After all, they were in his life long before I was. By the way, I am divorced now but still friends with the kids! If she can't deal with your ready made family, I would let her go. You can replace a wife but you can't replace your kids!

Answer 10

You need to explain that your child is very important and that if she can't accept the child then in a sense she is rejecting you because it is your kid. When she sees the kid she should see you, not your ex.
Your child is more important than your new wife.