How can they honestly say they are "here" for both of us?

Question

My husband of 15 years left me on May 6th. All of our common friends have pretty much stopped talking to me but still stay in contact with him. Well, last week he said he wanted to work on things but didn't want me saying anything to anyone. This weekend he took our daughter to the lake. I was pretty distraught because there was going to be drinking and partying and people I don't trust there. So, the husband calls me and asks me to why don't I go ahead and come to the lake. I drive the hour over there friday night and stay. Saturday I spend most of the day with my daughter and husband, but around 4 or 5 he says his mother is coming and would like for me to leave because it will cause problems with my being there. He says I can come back if I want to.
Anyway, all of our friends that keep saying "we are there for both of you" were there at the lake and know he asked me there and know he asked me to leave b/c of his mom. Not him or any of them called to say "hey are you okay?"

I know it was his mom that was coming because I saw her car on the highway when I was driving home....besides he did say I could come back. I just decided I was not going to do that because me made me feel "not worth it".

Answer 1

why should you have left in the first place cause his mother is coming? who's the wife here?
something is missing out.
working with what i got, the "friends" are really his friends they are not your friends, they just said 'we are here for you" cause it's the best thing to say, they dont know what else to say.
you should let your husband know exactly how you feel as you are hurting alot by the situation.

Answer 2

Mutual friends? HA! I beg to differ. Hun, they are friends of his who are pretending to be friends of yours, so that it doesn't seem like they took one side after the break up. If they were true mutual friends they wouldn't take your side completely. But they would offer you a bit more comfort seeing how your heart was torn. After all, he broke up with you not the other way around. I think you should disconnect yourself from him and his world because clearly there's no moral support there. Find new friends and take comfort in your family. As for the "mother" thing I highly doubt it. It was another woman. Because god knows that everyone invites their "mothers" to a lake where they are drinking and probably half naked women running around. OH, dear god no. I am so sorry that you got your heart broken and worse of all that there's no one there--"mutual friends" HA! best of luck.

Answer 3

Stop wasting your time listening to this person. He sounds very manipulative and immature. He is a full grown man yet his "mom is coming" and you have to leave! It's okay for daughter to spend time with his family and "his friends". If I were you, I would begin to cultivate my own group of friends and activities. It has only been a few weeks since he left you and you WILL get over this. I did!

Answer 4

He nor anyone of those so called "friends" are there for you... and he had you leave because "mom" is coming, Nope sorry, it was another woman, but not mom... you need to get on with life, i know he has, and you just need to let him go!

Answer 5

you poor thing sorry dont mean to sound patronizing your heart must be braking ,your husband may of told your so called friends not to bother the to of you cus ya trying to sort thing out ,he sounds VERY CONTROLLING and i think he as a nother woman

Answer 6

They obviously are more concerned with being his friend than yours. No problem - find yourself more trustworthy and stable friends. There are tons of great people out there, and many who will be TRUE friends to you!