If we have sex once a month I feel lucky. She says that sex is gross and she doesnt even enjoy kissing because it also is gross. I would not have thought to ask if she felt this way before marriage, and these parts of our relationship are important to me. What can I do?
2007-06-10 01:57:07 · 29 answers · asked by Bitcasso 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Weve been married for 4 years, she has 2 children from a previous marriage, and I do everything I can think of or that she tells me that might pleasure her before I think about myself. We had sex much more frequently in the first year and it has been all downhill since then. And no she isnt cheating on me, and I would not think about that either.
2007-06-10 16:22:31 · update #1
There are some people out there who just don't like sex. That kind of kills the idea of marrying a virgin when on your wedding night you find out she thinks sex is discusting.
Although a relationship shouldn't be based on sex it sure plays an important part. You don't say how long you've been married or if she has always felt this way about sex or if this is something that gradually came about.
Sometimes a women has no interest in sex because the guy gets off and she gets nothing out of it.
Do you try to take care of her first when you do have sex? If she ever had an orgasm she might think differently about sex. Are you freshly showered, teeth brushed, clean shaven, looking good as you possibly can when you have sex with her? Do you compliment her, give her a back rub to soothe her before sex? Are you warm and caring before and after sex? Women their heart warmed often by the man they love.
Have you tried talking to her about why she thinks it's gross or what about it grosses her out?
Heaven for bid but she may not be sexually attracted to you. Not that anything is wrong with you but that she didn't think that was an important issue with her when she picked her man.
I'd talk to her and try to get into a discussion about it even if it gets heated because this needs to be out in the open. You and her need to find out why you're not having sex.
Her idea about sex could be from something that happened to her as a young girl or something she saw or it maybe it's just not interesting to her. Ask if she is willing to go to counseling. Sex is a healthy, life changing experience. I don't know why I don't do it everyday. Probably because I'm getting old. Things don't work like they used to. LOL
Use it or lose it!
Good Luck
2007-06-10 02:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by blastabuelliac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you share your feelings about these issues with her. Approach it positively that these are things that it is important that you share with her. Tell her that you want to please her too and what sorts of things would get her in the mood without being "gross". Perhaps you could start off slow by massaging her feet and her back, let her know how much pleasure she can feel when you two are together. Also, I would recommend visiting a marriage counselor if the problem continues. sometimes it helps to talk about your feelings with a third person present to moderate and help you relate to each other. I'm sure some wise cracks on here will tell you to have an affair, but that will only make things worse and verify her beliefs in the grossness of sex. Just be patient with her and try to figure out what she likes and show her how much you enjoy pleasing her and then perhaps one day she will find pleasure in pleasing you back.
2007-06-10 02:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by natalieguderjahn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st. do you have a child together?, why this is important, most women after haveing there first child willpretty much lose interest in sex an intamacy, 1st taking care of child is full time, an if your not helping, well she is exausted. 2nd there instink for most is to bear a childonce fulfilled if it was'nt pleasureable (sometimes it is) they have no instink left to continue. eventually has they get older they will crave love an affection (not nessasary sex) beleive it or not, man can not be an island! we all need love an affection to be the best of who we are, thats how we were designed. an 3rd. maybe she has found someone else, i hope this isnt the case but it can be. i suggest you talk, talk alot, about everything. women for most part are has easy has men to figure out,and if you spend time together whats wrong with getting to know her again, they go thru many more changes in life then men so TALK, beleive it or not talking has many attrabutes, one it is a natural way to realease endorphines (bodys pain fighting drug) you get to know about what makes them who they are, or what path there on now in life. i hope all works out for you,
2007-06-10 02:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by close_my_eyes2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you do the romantic stuff with her. Either take her out or have a nice diner at home on the couch. Then when she lets you make sure you please her well so that she will want to try and get you to do it again. Just try different things till you find what she likes and wants more of. Her to find a friend to talk about this with would be the best thing.
2007-06-10 02:04:31 · answer #4 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, dude. You two seriously need help. Get to a competent marriage counselor immediately. Otherwise, you're looking at a lifetime of no physical affection. At least not within your marriage...
2007-06-10 02:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her to stop being selfish. Sex is an integral part of marriage, and she's just being inconsiderate. Tell her that if she doesn't want to have sex with you, then tell her to find some one for you . Surely she has habits that you don't like
2007-06-10 03:54:59 · answer #6 · answered by malroymck 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her if she thinks your marriage is gross, because sex is part of marriage. Also ask her if she wants a divorce.
2007-06-10 02:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by Gerry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have an open discussion with her, try to find out why shes in a slump, if thats fruitless try couples therapy or change your daily routine and do romantic things for her. If these do not work, I hate to say it but, she may be losing interest in you or men in general.
Good Luck.
2007-06-10 02:02:27 · answer #8 · answered by Elle777 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Divorce her and send her to a convent or something. What kind of person doesn't like kissing and sex?
Have a talk with her about this. If she doesn't respond to your feelings, ask her to a marriage counselor. No good spouse ignores their partners wants and needs.
2007-06-10 02:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by Nonexistent 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
perhapps its you she finds gross maybe you arent turning her on . Try a differnt approach .Flatter her act like you just met her like it was in the beginning
2007-06-10 04:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by christitime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋