Why does society look down on arranged marriages, they are very successful in my opinion. Do you not think?
2007-06-09 20:06:55 · 30 answers · asked by priyanka 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
No... its you who... 'does not think'.
2007-06-09 20:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by MJR 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
In high school & college, I had an Indian (girl)friend that had an American boyfriend on the down low cuz her parents insisted that she marry by arrangement. She struggled w/it for a long time, but she finally married the man that was picked for her. It broke her heart to tell her boyfriend goodbye, but now she is so grateful that she has a successful & secure relationship, she's a full-time mother & wife, and she found she truly loves her husband.
I, on the other hand, bought into my American culture's belief that marriage should be based on love and got married. I was betrayed and abandoned, left ill and homeless. I was devastated but it's clear when you're waking up on the side of the road that marriage and success are not based on any emotion... it takes money to live this life. Emotions can easily betray you and you could lose everything you've worked for and even what you will earn in the future. Love can't rescue you from whatever you're not willing to face in yourself, love about yourself.
What most don't understand about arranged marriages is that this is provided for the child's benefit & the selected suitor is someone that is likely attractive and well-matched, actually allowing love to be possible... because we've all heard the story about the reluctant 19 yo girl sold by a greedy family to the 45 yo bachelor so he can have children to carry out his legacy and think that's what arranged marriage is...
So, my answer to you is that there is an illusion that love will rescue you from yourself, from society, from harm & danger and I would imagine that your children have been influenced by that... it's so prevelent in America and anything exported from America... It would be best to show your children the spousal abuse & divorce rates in America, where love is supposed to be the answer, and make the blunt point that financial security provides a greater opportunity for love than love provides an opportunity for security.
2007-06-09 20:45:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
No, I don't think that they are neccessarily more successful ... (behind the scenes) they are just harder to leave ... for the women anyway ... there is not as much pressure on women in western countries to stay married...
Maybe growing up in a western society that promotes choice (maybe too much) is the reason for them refusing arranged marriages
Dr bad
Arranges his divorces better than his marriages
2007-06-09 21:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The arranged marriages or not is not the factor for successful family life. They can fail both ways. It depends on 2 people, family & social around them.
Nobody like forcing to do something especially today generations. In some cases the person's provided by parents may seem nice but after that who will knows. Everyone & everything can be changed.
My friend's married by parents arranging but today she's not happy with the marriage. Her husband & his family were different from before married. Now she has to suffer for her fortune. Her future was limited bacause she has kids. Her career's going well before married but today she has no many choices for her job.
However, parents are not wrong to introduce nice persons to their kids. But not forcing them to marry to. It's their lives, give them a chance to choose the way. You cannot guarantee their future even you choose the best for them. You should be his/her advisor when you see something wrong. It would be the best way you can provide for them.
Best wishes for you & your children.
2007-06-09 20:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by wawa108 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As a rule,most children would refuse anything arranged for them by parents or other family members including a marriage.This is due to their attitude of opposition to any form of authority. In.some societies arranged marriages are the norm and are considered better option than love marriages. yes.,arranged marriages have numerically proved to be more lasting but how much on index of happiness?Not known.
2007-06-09 20:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can imagine that your children are against arranged marriages. Most people want to fall in love and decide accordingly if they feel like getting married right away or after a while. They want to decide with the person they love when they want to get married. They want their parents to be less involved in every detail of their life. Arranged marriages starts by parents having a big role in the marriage and this role is expected to last. I don't think your children want you to be that much involved in their lives nor their in-laws to be that much involved.
Let them make the decision if they want to. Lots of great people, religious people and people who stick to traditions chose who they want to marry and the parents role was the blessing which means alot to us, of course.
2007-06-09 20:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by she 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Like a lot of traditions that the older generations still abide by,,the younger people now feel a lot of them are outdated and they tend to reject them more and more as time goes by.This happens to all races especially where the tradition is not a religious one ,but mainly a social thing.Some arranged marriages probably work quite well but equally there are those which are disastrous.It is probably best to let the youngsters do as they wish,you may advise of course,, so as to maintain family harmony and not drive them away.
2007-06-09 20:18:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Every individual is entitled to CHOICE in all things. We make choices all the time. Sometimes the are right and sometimes wrong. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. Whatever it is it is a way of learning. You don't choose all the small things in life for them so why should you choose who they should marry which is a very large thing. Arrange marriages are more of a hangover from when poor families marry into rich or marry for business connections. They do not have a place in this modern world.
2007-06-09 20:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by ANF 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm guessin that you're from India. I am too. My parents are probably gonna find a husband for me when I'm older. I think arranged marriages do work because my parents are married now for 31 years and they love each other like crazy! I think that you should at least get to know the person before you marry them. Also, I don't think forcing a child into an arranged marriage is a good idea. So, explain to your children why you want them to have arranged marriages. But if they are adamant about it...don't force them. Its not wise. good luck.
2007-06-09 20:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by muthu 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well done, you must have done a lot right with your children, if they have grown to think for themselves, and to come to their own decisions.
I do not share your implied passion for arranged marriages, and when a dowry is involved in such marriages, it implies to me that young people can be bought, and sold.
If arranged marriages are successful, it could be due to the fact that the female has been taught it is her duty to be a wife to the man selected for her, with that believe it is possible for her to be happy, but not to be free.
You have bought your children up to be free, and that is to your credit.
2007-06-09 20:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by DoctressWho 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Arranged marriages only benefit those who aren't getting married. Marrying because you love your partner--and they love you back--is rewarding not only for the couple, but for any offspring they have as well. I'll take a family of love over a financial arrangement (or more pathetic yet, a social status arrangement) any day.
2007-06-09 20:13:19 · answer #11 · answered by writersblock73 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋