A random add will take you to the floor,
a man stands towards the door.
You drop down,
without a frown.
everyone sees you there.
They just walk on by without a cry.
One day you will see a random add,
will make you happy.
2007-06-09 19:36:28 · 14 answers · asked by Katja ie tattybow 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
IM 14! AND I HAVE WROTE BETTER POEMS!
2007-06-09 19:59:01 · update #1
I dont like it. =((
2007-06-09 19:38:55 · answer #1 · answered by Shelby 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Tattybow,
Just ignore all of those unpleasant remarks!
Some people are just plain RUDE, and some are mean and cruel because it makes them feel superior.
Please don't be discouraged.
Whatever you write about is obviously importatnt to you -- and that is all it needs to be!
Keep writing and keep learning more about poetry.
The more you learn, and the more you practice, the better your poems will become.
§
2007-06-10 10:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by BlueFeather 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
good effort but I would change the wording slightly for a great impact
A random thought will give you more,
an elphant stands towards the door.
You climb down,
without a clown.
everyone sees your tears.
They just walk on by without any fears.
One day you will see a random atom,
It will dance for fun.
2007-06-09 20:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Poetry stinks and you manage to make it worse.
2007-06-09 20:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sorry Tattybow, don't give up the day time job.
2007-06-09 20:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I like a good poem that rhymes. It is great but if u make it longer it will be 10 time better.
2007-06-09 19:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by dr1ft_king 1 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Not bad
2007-06-11 23:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good, starts well , keep at it
2007-06-12 07:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by Barbarian 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its expressive... I think ad is spelt A-D.
2007-06-11 02:11:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm not really into poetry but i thought it was a good effort.
keep at it, maybe i will understand the next one!
i'll give you a star for trying :)
2007-06-09 19:40:51 · answer #10 · answered by v3gas4ce 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Excellent, short but profound, makes you think. Well done keep writing.
2007-06-09 19:40:38 · answer #11 · answered by Barry K 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋