How do you get self esteem back?

Question

I have really low self esteem. Actually I don't think I have any if that is possible. I don't go out of the house b/c I think everyone dislikes me, I can't make eye contact with people, I don't talk @ school, my family makes it worse, and I just found out I failed my class b/c I was so scared to do my final in front of everyone so I ditched it (it was an acting class) How do I get my self esteem back? Does it sound like I need therapy or something, b/c I have been struggling with this 4 years so I think I need someone's help now. Please help if you can, thanks =)

Answer 1

Hello, well as you can see you are not alone. I am a psychologist in the making (2 years from legally being one). I believe you have generalized anxiety. And there is medication for that and its treatable. Now, how old are you? Seems you are young. Look, I have anxiety and I also take medications and I also go to a psychologist. Sometimes is necessary to vent all your frustrations on someone older, wiser and who has nothing to do with you on a day to day basis. Keeping a journal about how you feel helps too because when you go back to read over it you can see things more clear, like you can tell if your feelings at the time where true or if you were just over reacting, get it?
About you not presenting in front of the class that is ok. No body should make you do something that makes you so unconfortable. Talk to your regular doctor or go to a councelor in school they will know where to get you help. You can also call your local hotline (find it in the yellow pages) Sorround yourself with positive people! I want you to write a list of 5 things you like about yourself. Then 5 things you are thankful for. And 5 things you dream about doing. Keep that list private, its only for you.
I don't know you and I bet you are a bright person. It so happens that people who suffer from anxiety are very emotional, loving, caring, smart, intuitive, those are great qualities! embrace them! Accept yourself for who you are! God made you and he knew exatcly how you were going to turn out. You are unique and perfect as you are! God doesn't make bad, deffective things. He loves you and accepts you just how you are! So now its up to you to get some help for yourself and start loving yourself.
Lastly find some information about anxiety, buy some self-help books, keep a journal, and when a bad thought comes to mind try to see what caused you to feel so negative and ask yourself how true is the thought.

Answer 2

First of all you have to look BACK into what/where you began to lose you confidence in the first place. SOMETHING or SOMEONE must have done/said something that got you into feeling the ways you do. I'd like to tell you that I AM one who worked in Psychology treating patients and can see you are young and still in school. Peer pressure, can ALSO be at the root of your problem. Being that this has been going on now for 4 years, and you DO recognize that "something" is "wrong," some of it could also be from physical changes going on with your body and you may have hormomal imbalances only an MD can correct. If you haven't been to see a doctor (medical doctor) I would go there "first" and tell him how your attitude has been getting more inward over the last 4 years. If tests come out "negative" then I would see "therapy," on an outpatient level. Believe it or not, I myself as a teenager got this way, and overcame it by exercise and vitamins. As we grow in our teenage years our bodies demand alot from us so see a doctor first, if this doesn't help, see a therapist so you can regain your confidence in yourself again. Good luck.......

Answer 3

Learning to love or even like yourself is no easy task. But it is not hopeless. The simple fact that you are asking for help says that there is a part of you that recognizes you are a valuable person worthy of esteem. There is not a magic sentence I can write that will make it better, but it is important for you to know that you are not the only person who has ever succumbed to the negative voices inside. Right now, you are simply paying too much attention to the wrong thoughts. Its like having two TVs in the same room, and you are concentrating on the big, loud, ugly one with the bad movie on it instead of focusing on the little quieter one that has nice things to say about flowers.

You don’t need therapy, but you may find it a useful tool to help you better focus on the parts of you that like you and turn down the volume on that nasty loud part. In therapy you may find a vehicle to take you where you want to go. You don’t need a psychiatrist, but look for a licensed psychology that practices something called cognitive-behavioral therapy. It has actually been demonstrated to work unlike some other schools of thought. Good luck.

Answer 4

If you can't go the therapy route try this, I do this when I have a bad day.

Start over, the past is the past.

Treat everyone, especially yourself with respect.

Try for the first class of the day to be successful and if that goes bad try the next one. If it goes well try it in the next class.

You deserve to go out and do something if you want too so just try. You can always turn around and go home if you need too.

Baby steps is how you can start and just like a baby you will be running in no time.

Good luck!

Answer 5

You could use the help of a good counselor, maybe even a psychologist who will teach you how to be assertive. You also need to develop active listening skills and only let in what is true. If someone says something negative about you that is true then you must work to change that-if it really is true. Try to help others and they will appreciate you. Look for a good role model and try to develop yourself in similar ways. Assertive communication skills will help develop self confidence and this is often lacking more so than self esteem.

Answer 6

Learning to love and care for yourself is number 1 in gaining self esteem.
Young woman often have this problem because they think terrible things about themselves. They think physical beauty and being attractive is a priority in life.
Be honest with yourself. Don't think what other people say or think about you is important, it's not. Just be you.
Many people think happiness comes in forms of money or things. It doesn't.
Happiness comes from within you. It's not gained from and outside source. It's only a state of mind and spirit.
Self esteem is basically just being happy with who and what you are. If you don't know this, learn it. It can be a real life altering experience.
Staying active is important, you don't have to be with someone else to do this. Proper exercise and diet are essential for your brain to create the chemicals needed for good self esteem. Treat your self right, and learn who and what you are. When you can do that, the rest is easy.
Challenge yourself to do new stuff, the reward in accomplishing challenging tasks or activities is improved self esteem.
If you have difficulty knowing yourself and what your purpose in life is, let me know. I can help.

Answer 7

sun shine that is the way you are to fell like sunshine .
4 years ago think back what was it that went wrong or hurt you?
in life forgive what or who some time even are self the reason you do not go out is hurt .. you do not want hurt .but people going to hurt you in life ..
you got to first love you as number one for self esteem .the creator did not make no junk .he did not make us the same it would be a boreing world then ,so there is differant in things and people every body was not meant to be a dr. or a movie star .just them self ..what ever your destanation is house wife factory worker or ect. so accept the way the creator made you and us -its life ......people gping to talk people going to make fun some just kiks ribbing ..so just be you love you for the self esteem

Answer 8

I believe you need to give yourself positive thoughts throughout the day.
Write down ten great things about yourself.
Such as :
I love myself.
I am a worthy human.
I am beautiful.
I am healthy.
I am alive.,etc...
When you feel down, give yourself a pep talk and use the positive statements to get yourself through the day.

I would talk to my teacher and tell her/him that I had some problems and ask to take a make up final.

Life can be hard at times, but remember you are human and everyone makes mistakes !!!
Good Luck :)

Tell yourself you are beautiful and you deserve love, respect and honor....

Answer 9

Therapy might help, talking to friends and being in social settings with people close to you that you can trust.



And what I found to be the greatest thing to help is that in the end, no body cares. Really. Ask anyone and no one will really be able to remember what other people did or what not.

so my suggestion is to you is relax, people will like ya just cause you talk to them. when talking to people, ask them questions, people usually love to talk about themselves.

Answer 10

I feel you. Seriously! I am right there too. Except, I am older.

Talk therapy helps. I would really ask a trusted adult for some help.