do you generally judge others on INTENT, OUTCOME or EFFORT?

Question

do you generally judge others by...
what they MEANT to do...
what actually HAPPENED...
or how hard they TRIED?

...and how do you judge yourself?

Answer 1

Intent, because that's a reflection of their motive, which in turn exposes their heart. We all make mistakes, and it's heart-wrenching when others judge us by our failings [outcome]. Judging someone by effort could be a little unfair, as it takes less effort to be kind than it does to be mean.
Make no mistake, we ALL judge others! Those who claim to be non-judgemental are lyars. It's a primitive instinct, built in to protect us. If you were walking down a dark laneway & saw 6 huge drunk men walking toward you with baseball bats, would you judge them, and based on that judgement decide to turn & run the other way? Or would you be "non-judgemental" and continue on your way toward them?
I judge myself based on others' perceptions. If others like to be around me, and I can make them feel happy, then I figure I must be an OK person. Professionally, I judge myself based on achievements/ outcomes, as this is usually how my boss judges me & my livihood depends on it!

Answer 2

Hi,
A lot of people ‘mean’ to do this and that but not all carry out their intentions. Judging others by their actions might sound right but I feel this is more in witnessing the proof that some people do mean what they say by fulfilling their promises and obligations. I’m not sure this falls within the context of your question. If forming an opinion of someone by what they ‘mean’ to do, the ‘consequences’ or how hard they ‘tried’, I have to go for the latter. I accept that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I know some people who will come out with the phrase “but I WAS GOING to do that” whenever I carry out a task and when this is constant, I realise they either are lacking in motivation or just plain lazy. I have come to understand those who lack in motivation more. Not having the driving force that motivates more motivated and successful people does not mean they should be judged in a negative way. What I truly admire is those who achieve, no matter how small the achievement, through persistence, patience and determination. It is the effort and the fact that they tried their best that should be applauded.
Polly

Answer 3

All of above. It depends on the situation. I consider all of these things important, but some might matter more depending on the situation. For instance if a doctor meant to cut out my appendix, but instead cut out my liver, then the other two don't matter a bit to me. On the other hand if there was a person that tried hard to create a birthday cake for me and it turned out awful, I would still be happy about them just taking the effort. And if they meant to pick me up and drive me somewhere for an important event, but that didn't happen, and the reason it didn't happen is because they didn't even try. I'm not going to be happy about that.

Basically I judge myself in the same way.

Answer 4

For some reason, I see in the question more of how do you "value" than "judge." In other words, what's more important to you. Without intent, the others don't follow. (Not to say some intentions don't go anyplace anyway!) I'd have to say that the ideal would be intent=effort. The effort represents the sincerity of the intent, & what measue of investment the person puts into it. The outcome sort of falls off my radar screen. It may or may not be what they hoped for, but that takes nothing away from what they meant to do, or how hard they tried. No, I don't "judge" myself. I "feel," I "think," & then do the best I can do, which is all anyone can do.

Answer 5

That's a very interesting question. I think a combination of those with priority given to intent then effort and last - outcome. Yet I think I judge myself harder than I judge others.

Answer 6

I can remember my mum telling me, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions!" What this means to me now (as a mother and grandmother) is this, when someone interferes and excuses themselves by saying, "I didn't mean to hurt you ... I only wanted to 'help'" - well that is not a good thing - i.e that is the 'road to hell'.

However, kind hearted intention is completely different and I see it as being that.

By the same token, if someone does something kind for an ulterior motive and the outcome is good, well, so be it. No hurt is intended and none is given - if the perpetrator gains - that is not part of the equation, ergo, no judgment.

I'm sure the Buddhists have something to say about this but I can't remember what it is.

Oh, and by the way, I don't believe 'trying' has anything to do with it.

Answer 7

mostly intent but the actual what happened factor jumps in and then i start to see how hard they tried... most everyone gets a mental red flag that crosses me then i figure on ways to succeed around them and handle them at the lowest level if they are stepping on my toes. sound crazy or just? if they get to into destroying me i might whip their butt but never as the first resort. it works for me and i have never killed anyone (so far). i only have to whip someones but about once every 10 years but if it came down to it i would start training and do it everyday... ;)

i'm very critical of myself more than the world is...

i try to understand before i judge. i never judged up until about 5 years ago and that was because i had no more cheeks to turn and they were idiots!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I do not judge others as my judgement would be flawed. Instead I practise a mode of thinking called Emptiness where I am the observer of all experience, making neither judgement of the quality of the experience nor finding purpose or reaon behind the experience. In this way I do not force a possible false judgement on the quality of the experience whether good, bad or neither good nor bad and have no requirement therefore to feel any sadness only the value of the experience itself, knowing it will pass allowing me to move on without regret or requiring to feel joy. If it is a joyous experience then I will simply allow this to occur, if it is a sad experience then so be it, with no judgement.

If my experience with others brings with it feelings of the experience then I will feel these also without regret or judgement, allowing others to make mistakes without judging their performance. For against what criteria will I judge, and if I make a false judgement it only brings pain to others...

Emptiness has advantages, I rarely feel sadness and often feel joy...

I do not judge myself, I allow others to do this, I actually try to rid my consciousness of my "Self"...

Peace from a Buddhist....

Answer 10

I judges others by ones intent. I judge myself by outcome. I expect more from my self, than others