How do i get my power back?

Question

I am sick and tired of waking up every morning and feeling so sorry for myself.She left me and divorced me.I was a good husband,worked my *** off 12 hours a day six days a week.To be able to provide a nice life for us.I feel used and abused.She has everything i worked for.Im living in a Sh.t hole studio.And for all i know shes got another guy in my bed.Life just isn't fair.How do i get my strength and power back.I feel like she ripped the rug out from under me emotionally.

Answer 1

hi twice divorced here and I'm a girl and ended up with nothing . But i got the kids .empowerment for me was going on and living life i have met some wonder full men who i consider great Friends we just met to soon after the break ups to work. But by being honest and brave you can met new Friends and while they might not be soul mate they may be a network of supporting Friends

Answer 2

My sympathies are with you. I understand how much you are hurting, and if all you say is true, you have a right to feel blue. What you need to do, though, is realize you had a part in the break up. You worked 12 hours a day for 6 days a week! You thought (like a lot of people) that you were making more money and that was great. Truthfully, you robbed yourself of time with your wife, and you robbed her of time with you when you weren't tired and could be a real soul/help mate sharing life together. Sometimes money is not everything. Love and attention are. So, pick yourself up and vow not to make that same mistake again. Next wonderful relationship, invest some time in it and work normal days as often as you can, 5 days a week. You need a balanced happy life, not just work. I don't understand why she got everything (most divorces there's a split of assets), so I can't comment on that. Did you get a good lawyer? How do you get your strength and power back? You vow to move on and hold your head up and smile. If you can't do that on your own, you ask your doctor for a mild antidepressant just until you get control. I am sure you can do it and I wish you very much luck and a happier life.

Answer 3

I understand that it must hurt. Especially in your age, you are not exactly a teenager anymore. What it seems to me is that you have deep issues within yourself. You should really work on that and try to take the blindfold off for once. I would like to recommend you an awesome book, you can try and read it and see if you are strong enough for message to go through to you. Sometimes relationships don't work out, it's how life is. I could tell you billion other far more terrible scenarios how your life could look like. You have to stop feeling pity, get up and stand on your own two feet, meet people, get hobbies, what do you like to do? Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your life? I do not think so, you wouldn't be asking questions like these on here. The best you can do now is get yourself together, who knows, maybe later in life you get back together with your ex or maybe someone who is truly meant for you waltzes into your life. Good luck in any case:)!

Answer 4

A lot of good answers here.

Agreed, things were not fair. As far as life not being fair, I don't agree. Life is not more fair for anybody else.

I speak from experience. If you continue to believe that you were victimized, you will feel like a victim. Things won't change and you'll subject yourself to a very long time of victimhood. You may even look for new ways that you have been wronged. This all leads to a lifetime of looking for ways to justify all of the things that have been done to you.

Only you can turn it around. Wake up in the morning and realize that you have an entire world of opportunity. The world is open to being fair to you if only you accept it. If you approach the day looking for unfair things...you will find them. On the flipside, if you approach the day looking for all the opportunities, then you will find them.

We live in a divorce culture. We are all bombarded with messages about how happy and free it is to be single and how miserable it is to be married. People like you and I have to decide, in a culture like this, what do we do to stay on top and feel powerful. You get your power back by working on your life, your interests and keep to your standards of life. Sometimes you may stand alone and sometimes you may have company, but regardless, you DO have pride in who you are and your strength will return.

My advice, when you do get your strength back, don't comprise it for anybody. I know I won't.

Answer 5

Well nobody can do this for you but yourself. Just get out and start living the life you want. Dont worry so much about the past because you just cant change it no matter how hard it is to accept. Mingle with others, get a hobby or work out in a gym. I am sure you do feel abused and used, but there is nothing you can do about it except go on with your life. You are right, life isnt fair, but who said it would be? Your future lies within your hands. Choices are....1. stay at home and feel sorry for yourself or 2. get out and get on with life. I dont mean to sound harsh. My heart does go out to you, but you can change the rest of your life. Good luck!!

Answer 6

Toughen up dude. You aren't the first guy to be divorced, and you won't be the last. I've gone through it, and know how you feel. First, she's gone, you did your best, but she's out of it. I assume that you are still working, so that you probably have some social activity. Stop complaining about your ex, and start talking positively to people. Check yourself out, in a mirror. Do you look nice? Are your clothes up to date? Are you in good physical shape? What can you do to improve your image? Once you start looking, acting, and talking like you feel good about yourself, you will. This attitude will carry over to others, and you will be attracting people, instead of putting them off. It works, I know!

Answer 7

You have to face the fact there is nothing you can do about the past! It is over and done with! Gone! Kaput!

The only thing you can do anything about is today. You can plan for tomorrow, but it is today that you have to take the action. You got where you wanted to be because you are capable and you can do it again, you know how and all you have to do is put forth the effort and things will be good for you again. Work for today and the future and forget the past!

Forget your ex and the past. She will get what she deserves one way or the other. You won't need to worry about it.

Answer 8

She did pull the rug out from under you. Now, stop feeling sorry for yourself, accept what happened and move on. Easy advice, but not easy to do I know. Been there myself. It helped for me to find something I enjoy doing. A hobby or simply taking a class online. This helped me to concentrate on something that had nothing in common with my ex for at least a few hours at a time. You still have strength and power, its simply burried within you. At the moment, your concentrating on nothing but what happened, this is not something you will forget, but as time passes, it will be something that you think of less often.

Answer 9

You did get the rug pulled out from under you. But now you have two choices: stew about it and keep being miserable or decide to start over and trust that things will work out better the next time around.

Take care and good luck to you!

Answer 10

the first thing is to never get married again... Marriage is for the woman 100% just as you found out... you will lose everything again once you get back on your feet... You did get the rug ripped out from under you... now its time to get back on your feet and make a plan to get back in the main stream of life... remember there is always someone worse off than you... may not seem like it, but its true... why did she get everything... you can always take her back to court!!!