How do I get over my 2nd miscarriage?

Question

I had a miscarriage on thursday and feeling really emotional and low. how do get over this experience?

Answer 1

Focus on the fact it wasn't your fault but natures way of making sure that a healthy baby survives.

Answer 2

please remember you are not alone..... you won't just "get over it", but it really helps to be open and talk about it. I've had 5 miscarriages....... which I honestly don't know how we got through....but the worst thing was that it is such a taboo subject and people don't talk about it much. After people found out about my miscarriages, a whole lot of people in the secret miscarriage club came out of the woodwork. It's understandable that people don't know what to say or do to help.... I just made it clear to them that it was ok... I didn't know what to do or how to act either. Ignore all the thoughtless people that say " you can try again", "at least you can get pregnant", "it wasn't healthy and you wouldn't have wanted it"..... they are ignorant, thoughtless and missing the point! I now have three beautiful children, and number four on the way.......and am very happy with my life.... but I still cry over my little ones I lost.... but then again, If I'd had those kids, I may not have met the ones I have now! Time will help..... and talking. If you want to email me...feel [e-mail]. ..... and by the way, my eldest daughter was conceived in the month after a miscarriage at 14 weeks....before a period...... so don't wait if you don't want to...... or do...whatever feels right. The sad thing is, that even a successful pregnancy it very scary after you've been what you've been through..... sadly, we will never experience the "blissful...happy...noworries" pregnancy.
You'll get there...chin up!

Answer 3

I am really sorry for what you are going through.

I had my second miscarriage this past March so I understand how hard this time can be. For me, my miscarriages have actually been harder to get over because they happened early and a lot of people didn't know (so I had nobody to talk to it about) and those that knew tried to be supportive but said things that didn't acknowledge the loss I was feeling. (It was meant to be, it was early, you'll get pregnant again...etc.) Often they are right, but I know that it is important to be able to grieve the loss of hope that you feel when you have a miscarriage.

My advice to you is to talk about it with people and express your feelings. If you can't do this with your partner, friends or family, find a support group or speak to your doctor. You should for sure talk to you doctor about what this second miscarriage means and if there is anything you need to do as far as a medical workup. My husband and I had a series of tests done after this last one -- and it help me because it felt like I was being proactive in the situation. It also is helping me move forward and try to get pregnant again knowing that we don't have any specific problems -- I was told the two miscarriages were just things that happened -- that prevent us from getting pregnant again and having a successful pregnancy.

I wish you a lot of luck and if you need to talk about this more, feel free to contact me.

Answer 4

I still get weepy once in a while about my two miscarriages, especially the second, because I could see the heart beating in this tiny thumb-sized body, so I knew the child I had longed for so long was alive but would die in a minute or two. That, my dear, was in 1973! My healthy daughter was born 14 months later, and that helped a lot, but even that did not make the pain go away completely. Time helps, too, but the babies you conceive but cannot birth will always be with you.

Although I believe in abortion rights, I cannot condone having an abortion without serious consideration, because I know the tiny fetuses I loved and lost were very real.

Don't expect other people who have never miscarried to understand. I know I didn't until it happened to me.

But life goes on, and eventually there will be joy in your life again. Until the time is ripe, allow yourself to grieve, but try not to wallow. I'm pulling for you!

Answer 5

I am sorry to hear of your loss. You will have to let time take it's course and go through your mourning. Miscarriage is such a loss but sometimes it's not recognised as such because you didn't have the baby. In my view, that is irrelevant as you had the potential for a baby and all the hopes and dreams that came with it. You must believe that your time will come - just keep focused on that. On a physical level your hormones will be all over the place so allow time for your body to adjust and heal. Don't lose hope. Take care. x

Answer 6

How far gone were you? Obviously further on is harder to get over. You done it once you can do it again. The thing is you know you can get pregnant, which is a good start, the next step is keeping it. Dont get to downhearted too soon, a friend of mine had 2 miscarraiges in 18 months, 3years on she now has a healthy daughter and a son. There is hope. Have faith and know that things really do happen for a reason, someone is watching over you and you know who it is,

Answer 7

I know many women (at least 4) who had two miscarriages (one had three), felt devastated, lost hope, grieved a lot, but still went on to have two gorgeous children (each).

One of these women said that she would never have met her 2 beautiful little girls if the other pregnancies had succeeded, and that made it all seem destined to her.

It is normal to be hurt by loss, but keep believing that it will happen for you.

Answer 8

Sorry for your loss, but miscarriages are incredibly common, especially at the early stages of the pregnancy. Many women miscarry and never even know it (a quarter of pregnant women). You are certainly not alone.

After you have cheered yourself up a bit, just when you feel ready, try again. Getting pregnant and keeping a baby, giving birth etc. isn't as easy as it seems, even though some people have babies left right and centre. I'm sure you have lots of chances to get pregnant again.

Answer 9

Grieving over a miscarried baby can be just as hard as someone grieving over someone they've lived with for a long time, because the baby has been a part of you. The baby has a soul and spirit and it is proper to grieve and be sad over the loss. You always live with the fact, but it does take time. Just realize it probably wasn't your fault. It helps to talk to someone close that understands. It helps to pray, read the Bible and go to church. Your miscarried babies are still alive and in the care of God. When you have Jesus in your heart, you will see them one day, they will recognize you and you will recognize them.

Answer 10

It'll take some time and TLC between you and your partner. It's a great physical and emotional loss. You need time to grieve, be angry, frustrated, cry, yell or whatever else will make you feel better. Make sure you don't try for another one for about 2-3 months. Allow your body to build back up a healthy blood and hormone supply to try to sustain a viable pregnancy later on. My condolences to you both.

Answer 11

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I have never miscarried but I did lose a baby. I don't think one is worse than the other. I did know at 5 months pregnant that she would pass when born, I carried her to term and had her for 2 days. I think you just have to keep your head up and know that the baby is in a better place and you will always have a special place for your lossed one. You will never forget it. Prayer and family help. God Bless