I got married when I was 18 and pragnat. We have 2 children aged 17 and 15. And that`s sad but realise we are together cose of them only. We don`t go out together, don`t have same friends, hobbies. He drinks alcohol a lot and I can`t just stand it. Once I called the police when he was so drunk (was drinking for three days, didn`t eat much),he pushed me against wall few times and said he was going to kill me.. He`s jealous and possessive, I can`t even invite my friends home-that always coses problems.Sometimes I think it brings him pleasure shouting me on any occasion, few times a day..He just knows I don`t work now and couldn`t live at the same standart as we live now if I devorce him..Of course I`m looking for job but...not easy. I`m on a course at the moment. And feel stressed all the time.When the time of his coming back from work arrives I only think what is going to happen, shouting and alcohol again?And then he wants me to be hot girl in bed? God, I just can`t!! What shall I do?
2007-06-09 10:02:55 · 24 answers · asked by poin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave, Leave now. If you can't leave for yourself, then leave for your children's future.. You don't want that behavior taught to your children.
2007-06-09 10:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by Mature Witch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We are together because of them only? you have too much time on your hands. You need to get a job and work. If he was such a drunk and abuser as you say,even hell could not stop you from leaving him. apparently he provides a standard of living that you do not want to give up. Did you get pregnant to snag him? You do not do anything to please him and do not do anything to help him. but you stay to suck him out of life,he could have had with another. Have you ever been "Hot Girl" in bed? Do you talk to your friends about him? Has he ever pleased you sexually? I guest at the time he was a good catch huh? If he wanted too he could leave,he does not have to stay. Do you have anything to offer. What have you done for him lately? Any other man would not even come home drunk or otherwise and if you were hot girl in bed he would not put you to the test. You call him jealous and possessive?
For what,men want confident women,not baggage. The working man does not need a load of trash to come home to everyday. Poor you and your kids. And that is what is sad,then you cry God? What shall you do, leave just go.
2007-06-09 17:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by God is love. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I will say this much. My dad was like that with my mom. They were married for 18 years and it had always been like that. If you are together for the sake of the children, then split for their sake too. I can't tell you how much it hurts to see one of your parents hit the other. They're the two people in the world who are supposed to love you the most, and when you see them fight, you realize that they put up with the pain of being together because of you. That just makes the children feel guilty. I know because I grew up wishing that me and my brothers had nothing to do with why my mom stuck around with our alcoholic father. I felt bad that we were the reason that my mom had to go through that kind of pain. I knew that she deserved better. And no matter what things always work out for the best if you believe that they will. And just remember that everything good and bad happens for a reason. Some of the best things in my life have come from the worst.
2007-06-09 17:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by Candi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is very hard when there is children involved but you have to think for the safety of your children as well as your own he has a problem and a serious one. a man should never touch a women no matter what. try to save money and get your own place i know it is not easy but believe me it will be worth it you will see that at night when you rest your head to go to sleep you will feel safe and relaxed how do i now i was in the same situation but he never hit me or pushed me. it still hurts but i am happy now and i look into the future with my head up high cause i know that i did the best thing for my kids and for me
god bless and take care
2007-06-09 17:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by ANNA D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have answered your own question - you cant take it. and neither should you. no one should have to put up with any form of abuse be it physical or mental. alcohol damages relationships, and unless he realises this you would be better of away from it - even if just temporarily to give both of you time to work out what you want. Do you have a family member you could stay with? Your children are old enough to see what is going on.
2007-06-09 17:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out before the drunk ends up hurting you. You are doing more damage to the children by staying in this unhealthy marriage than by getting out.
There is lots of help out there for women in your situation. Contact an attorney and find a way to leave him now.
Best of luck!
2007-06-09 17:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you expressed these feelings to him? If he knew that you were serious about leaving he may change his tune. You two have raised the kids already Life should be getting easier for you both. I would suggest to try talking to him about this before making a decision. If you are afraid to talk to him at home ask him to meet you for lunch or dinner in public place. If he refuses then you should know what to do next.
2007-06-09 17:14:35 · answer #7 · answered by russbillen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Pack your things and go to a homeless shelter.
2. Once you get to the shelter arrange or apply for a battered women's shelter. They have rules that you have to live by but at least you have 3 months or so to stay and they help you find a job and get Government help.
3. Get yourself stable enough in your living situation etc, and then file for divorce. You don't need this negativity in your life. Love has nothing to do with it babe. :)
2007-06-09 17:34:33 · answer #8 · answered by heather 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never stay together only cus of the kids....my dad stayed with my mom cus of us kids and we suffered for it...it is not nice growing up in an unhappy house...when my dad finally divorce my mom, I went with my dad...
Your kids are old enough to know what is going on with their dad...so leave him as soon as possible. Take the kids with you if they want to go, as they are at an age where they are old enough to decide if they want to leave with you or stay with there dad...if you don't want to leave your home, see a solicitor for advice or for a divorce and get him moved out....I lived in a similar situation but I had 3 kids under 3 and a half years...I admit it caused him to give me one last beating but it was worth it...life was so great when I didn't have to worry about him coming home....
2007-06-13 14:33:33 · answer #9 · answered by Elaine N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You can go to a battered woman's shelter if you have nowhere else to go. You are being abused, whether he touches you or not. They can help with your job hunt and help you get housing. You deserve better.
2007-06-09 17:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by tigger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine you are reading this question from an unknown sender
What advice would you give
That's right! Now you have the answer you seek
2007-06-09 17:09:52 · answer #11 · answered by Roger 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋