I can't have an orgasm!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

I really don't know what it is could my mind be on other things. is it a mind over matter thing . calling all women plz help!!!

Answer 1

Maybe it is psychologic factor.Dont be anxious, and dont think about it...Discuss with the doctor in case it continues...It doesnt mean that you and your partner you have problem.Maybe tireness or stress can provock it...

Answer 2

Stress can honestly interfere with your sex life. If you have too much going on in your life, you just can't relax. Your mind runs through other things and you're distracted. An orgasm is mental as well as physical, if your mind is distracted, your body won't orgasm.

There are many books out there discussing this very issue. Some simple things to try include dedicating a night to yourself. Have a good dinner, listen to some music that gets you in the mood, take a hot bath with candles. Make every moment of the night a sensual treat. Push aside all thoughts of your daily life and any stress and pressure. Just live in the moment and let yourself relax.

If you can orgasm when masturbating alone, and the problem is during sex, then you're going to fast and you are not getting aroused. If you jump from point A to point D, your body and mind can't catch up. You have to take things slower and arouse your mind and body both.

Answer 3

Some women have difficulty orgasming due to:

self esteem - if they feel ugly or fat and seclf concious of how their partner could possibly be with them, well, that certainly takes the joy out of things.

Beyond that, is the relationship okay? Reservations about the person you're with, be it unresolved issues or untended resentments can also pull up a defense mechanism from letting go.

You also mentioned a "mind over matter" thing, and that's a good insight. If your to do list is a pressing issue, and you're peoccupied with what you should be doing, how could one possibly focus on their partners and their own enjoyment?

There are just someof the psychological issues that could be be blocking an orgasm. The best route here is to spend some time, honestly, thinking about how much you love you partner. The best pleasure comes from that feeling that you are sharing it with someone you truly love. And by loving them, you're allowing yourself to be truly open and free and naked. Knowing that someone loves us allows to see us them at their utmost vulnerbaility, eyes stretched out, making noises they'd never make in public....This is a bonding experience which we're sharing with very, very few.

Beyond that, it's a simple matter of biology and everybody's different. Some women can only get off after oral sex, others require deep penetration and yet others will turn into butter with a few flicks of their clitorises.

Do you know where your g-spot is? If you reach your finger inside yourself, with your finger pointed upwards, and turn it so its touching the inside of where your pubic bone is, you'll find it. It's almost like a raised button. You'll know when you'll find it and it's not a myth.

Take this time, put the to do list on the rack and have a long bath. Light soem candles and think about you and your body, think about how far you've come in this world. Caress yourself. Clear your mind and only focus on the sensations. Rub your whole body. Hell, get some lotion if you want. Above all, don't worry about whether or not this wil work. The key is to examine the sensations your body exhibits. Fantasize if you want. This is all about you. Finally, when you're ready to explore below, work your way towards finding that g-spot.

Answer 4

I think it IS a mind over matter thing. If your mind is occupied with other things, it might not happen. You need to relax. It's think it's like a control thing, to let yourself orgasm is to lose all control, it's a release. So if you have trouble with that, or don't like being out of control of a situation, that could be it.

Or whoever you're sleeping with isn't doing it for you!! I'm kidding. I think that it has to be your mind occupied with other thoughts so you can't concentrate (or let it just happen) on the task at hand! You just have to try to relax your mind, and your mood.

I've heard (I think on an episode of loveline, from Dr Drew) that there are three kinds of orgasms women can have. From manual stimulation, oral and vaginal. And he said it usually happens from one one of the three, not all. (which is probably the case for some, but not everybody)

So maybe you can't orgasm in the way you want to, try something else. Try to relax yourself & your mind & let go of all the thoughts & worries you have, and maybe then it will happen.

good luck :)

Answer 5

Try to relax and clear your head beforehand. Soft music, a massage, a bath. It has as much to do w/the mind as well as body. It's going to be hard to achieve after a stressful day so take some time to decompress. Try manual stimulation to find out what kind of touch you prefer. Don't think about it too much and don't put too much pressure to have one. First thing is to relax and clear your mind. =)

Answer 6

RELAX! The more you sit and think about not having an orgasm, you're less likely to have one. You can try manually stimulating yourself during intercourse...or you can have your man reach down and do it for you. Just don't obsess over it too much. You can also try buying one of those little silver bullet vibrators. Before intercourse, as foreplay, you can use that to get your clitoris stimulated...once intercourse begins, you'll be much more sensitized and able to orgasm. Hope that helps!

Answer 7

You need to make sure there isn't anything medically wrong with you first,then if not,learn relaxation tips and self manipulation tips to help you achieve orgasm.There are many books on the subject -just look on the internet too for help.Good luck!

Answer 8

Its not your mind so much its your pleasure zone. More four-play is needed. I know because I have been there. Where ever you feel the need that puts you in the mood get him to do it over and over again.

Answer 9

Have you ever had one? It's VERY VERY common that most women will never have one- or just one or two in their entire life!

Answer 10

Just keep trying. It's bound to happen, and when it doe's you will definitely know it.