It's not as though we all try to "hold on dearly" to the issues that screw us up...it's more as though the issue is like a pit bull with it's jaws clamped down on your leg and not letting go!
2007-06-09 03:45:34 · 15 answers · asked by bradxschuman 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hi,
sorry if people have been insensitive to your issues. I hate this saying to and completely agree with what you are saying. I think people say it either because they are just not patient enough to wait for you to come to terms with somethings..which means they are not a good person to seek support from or else because they care about you a lot and can't stand to see you in pain but are so frustrated because they don't know what to do that they think saying things like "pull yourself together" will make it ok. its usually down to ignorance, you either have to forgive and move on or explain to them how what they say upsets you!
best of luck xxx
2007-06-09 04:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by SH2007 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time, people do mean just drop it, it's not that important, but that's from their perspective.
To let go, in a growing constructive sense, means to step back from whatever it is and look at it without being attached to the emotions. In psychology, it's called dissociation, but it basically means stepping away. You can actually imagine yourself as someone else dealing with whatever it is and think about how their responding, whether it is really worth it, does it go anywhere.
You can always pick it up again.
Overly focussing on something, having it be a 'Pit Bull', usually means that there is something to learn. Maybe it's a new behavior, something different that you can do that will resolve the problem; maybe it's a new perspective make the problem a 'c' problem instead of an 'A' problem. Just letting it go, even if for awhile, gives you the chance to choose.
If you are a writer, try taking the third person perspective and write about how you feel and where the feeling comes from like you were explaining THAT character to a reader.
2007-06-09 11:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by Seamless_1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If YOU can't change the final outcome,or come to a resolution over the issue(s) brought about by the event(s), then concentrating on it will do nothing but further frustrate you.
The reason for the "Pit Bull with it's jaws clamped" is the lack of resolution.
So, if you can't achieve resolution, what are you going to do? You have limited choices. You can either carry it around as baggage and attempt to attend to it at some specified/unspecified date, or you can "Let It Go" and release yourself of the burden.
2007-06-09 12:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by wtshimmin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy for others to say, not so easy to actually do. As if you don't already know you need to get over it! Bah!
Sometimes we get fixated on a problem that, as you describe, clamps down on us like a Pit Bull. It's not always the actual situation itself that is the whole problem - it's just as much unrelated emotional baggage we have associated with it. For example, you may obsess over losing a job, when your underlying issue is that you were over-criticized as a child.
To say you have to "let it go" is obvious to the onlooker - after all, losing your job is out of your control and you can't change it. There are other jobs. Get over it, already! But, the underlying issue, which may not be so apparent to the adviser, remains. That's your Pit Bull. This is where talking to a professional can help.
If you find that something is interfering with your life, talk to someone who knows how to gently lead you to recognize and conquer your underlying issues. Once you can put a name to the real issue, you have power over it.
Trust me, we ALL have issues! Good luck with yours.
2007-06-09 11:34:25 · answer #4 · answered by Wren )O( 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's true, true..I've been there too...People do say "just let it go" like it's nothing.And it hurts because it IS something. I think partly it's because they don't want to hear about it anymore. So they themselves are sick of it. But it's not easy to just let go. I think it's a process, a gradual process of detaching yourself from the person (I am assuming we're talking about a relationship here)...Talking with friends, REALLY taking an honest look at the dynamic of the relationship from YOUR perspective at what you were not given that you needed...What the other person REALLY is like, not just in your head or the fantasy that people tend to create of a perfect person that if they can just get or do A,B, or C that someow they'll come back....It's destructive to your self image, your esteem. Think realistically about the other person and their faults or things that you didn't like. Keep busy and be active. Make yourself look cute. Good luck.
2007-06-09 11:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Sara B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it is easier than actually trying to help a person work through their issues. We all know that holding on to past hurts makes us feel worse - but letting go takes more than a catch phrase. I am not sure if the hurt is bad enough that you ever get completely over it. If we let what hurt us make us stronger that is a start. It is easier to let go over time if you concentrate on using what happened as a growth experience. Remember "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
2007-06-09 10:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because, like hating someone , fixating on an issue will only hurt you. Also perhaps you are driving others crazy with it also, that could hurt relationships with those around you that you could use to help. Ask for opinions, make a decision and release it-holding on to a problem is like negative prayer, it can hurt you further. I know its hard-everyone (EVERYONE) has personal demons, but if they are taking over your life by your "chewing" on them and not deciding a plan of action to combat or release them-well, you'll lose-and continue to lose. Its like being the victim of a crime over and over-get pissed off enough to not let it hurt you anymore and take control. We are all here to learn-each in their own spiritual way-maybe this is a lesson or hill you need to climb. Good luck my friend-
2007-06-09 10:58:47 · answer #7 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Letting go means giving it up, and well for some that is just not easy, sometimes letting go is the most painful thing in the world to do, and those that tell you to let go have never walked a mile in your moccasins, you will let go when your heart tells you it is time, don't worry about what others say or think.
2007-06-09 11:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by sandi c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the context is pretty important on this one. What kind of thing have people told to you let go? Love for an unattainable someone? An addiction to something like smoking?
Just because someone tells you to "let it go" doesn't mean that they are also saying it's easy to let it go. But maybe it really is the best advice. For example, I fell head-over-heals in love with a girl who did not return my affection. We were best friends, and spent lots of time together. She stopped talking to me after realizing that I wasn't going to get over my love for her as long as we spent time together. I had to "just let it go," and it took months and a lot of self control, but I'm past it now.
Maybe it's something that's very hard to let go, but it's not impossible. There's no nicotine patch for a broken heart to ween you off a girl if that's your problem. You just need to muscle through it and discipline yourself to let go. If you cannot, chances are you're going to be miserable.
2007-06-09 10:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by The Red Inkstone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's because they haven't walked a mile in your shoe. I have learned that in say, expressing condolences you just give the person a hug or a squeeze. Telling him or her that you know how they feel, if they have lost a son or a daughter for example and you haven't, is nonsense. of course you don't know how they feel.
2007-06-09 10:53:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋