Don't you think men are getting unfair deal in this country with regards to their rights?

Question

1) The states are collecting child support for the women and children, but the men have to pay for legal representation if there's a dispute about vistitation rights.

2) There are no provisions with most states for paternity fraud. Men are being misled into thinking their supporting children who aren't theirs biologically.

3) Any issues regarding custody men have to pay for legal representation whereas women get legal support for free in a lot of instances.

4) Men are going to prison for their irresponsible behavior whereas women have the options of abortion and adoption.

5) Men aren't recognized as fathers by the federal government because they can only file single status even if they are single parents paying child support.

6) The continued inequitable division of property in divorce.

7) Alimony that men are paying is ludicrous.

Men are basically being required to pay for failed relationships whereas women are financially benefitting a lot of times.

WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STANDING UP FOR MEN?????

Answer 1

I agree. I am a single mother. 8 years now. I watch this system and I have to wonder. Why is it assumed based on my sex, that I am the parent the children will live with? Why is it that we call the non custodial parent's time "Visitation"? Who "visits" their own children?

The way the law is structured needs to be changed. Both parents need to be evaluated and the goal should be to determine appropriate shared parenting. I've seen a couple of people on here comment that it does work for them. Then child support is either nul, or it is much reduced.

But you guys have to ask. You have to go into it asking for shared parenting, know when you can have the kids, and how you are going to provide for them. There are programs for calendars to track the kid's schedules for partners in the shared parenting plans. Utilize the tools available to you.

But if it's ever going to change, somebody has to ask.

Answer 2

Well, let me address your issues by number.

1. If you initiate the dispute you will not have to pay for legal representation.

2. Your Domestic Relations office can arrange to have paternity testing at no charge to you unless you are proven to be the father.

3. Once again, it is whomever initiates the action.

4. Ever heard of a condom?

5. You should have asked for the entitlement to claim the child as your dependent at least every other year.

6. Your lawyer didn't do a very good job.

7. Alimony? What was the grounds for your divorce?

I am a woman who made more money than my ex-husband at the time of our divorce. We had joint custody with me being the primary custodial parent. I got nothing and didn't complain one bit. Our division of property was handled long before the divorce was final (We decided between ourselves). Maybe you should try mediation... it's alot less expensive and niether one of you has to get a lawyer. The mediator represents you both.

Answer 3

1) Legal Aid.

2) Ask for a paternity test.

3) Legal Aid.

4) Women should not have to get an abortion or give up a child because the father doesn't want to take responsibility for their actions.

5) You can claim children if you have custody of them. Since you don't want to pay child support, I doubt you want the responsibility of raising a child full time.

6) It is not always fair, but it is not always in favour of the wife anymore either.

7) More and more women are paying alimony to men.

Basically, too many people, men and women are screwing up their own lives and looking to place the blame on someone else. If you don't want to get married don't. If you don't want to have children and all the responsibilities that go with them, use a condom.

Answer 4

whoa there!
1) When filing for visitation rights, have it filed where the woman has to pay.
2) Make the woman have a paternity test run, that is the only way to prove it is fraud...then, find a lawyer and sue her for misrepresentation.
3) Custody issues can be filed where the woman has to pay, as well.
4) Men are going to prison because of their irresponsible behavior...it has nothing to do with the responsibleness of the woman...it is their OWN irresponsibility that puts them in prison.
5) Find a better tax man, there is a way to claim your child support on your taxes
6) Find a better lawyer and get what you need
7) Find a better lawyer and don't pay alimony
"A lot of times" is not all the time...find a better lawyer!
Any case can be filed and won if you have a good lawyer, money to pay for one, and time to spend in court!

Answer 5

I do understand that to some degree, men don't get a fair shake, or at least what appears to be a fair shake when it comes to some of the topics you mentioned.

And I do realize that more and more, in today's world, men are accepting responsibility for raising their children.

BUT...you must understand that the majority of men who are NOT supporting their children is still in the LARGE numbers.

1) The state does NOT collect support for the WOMAN. The support is collected on behalf of the child. The bitterness involved allows you to think that this is all about HER. It is not, whether you believe it or not.

2) As for supporting children that are not biologically theirs...my advice there is to be more selective as to who is chosen as a sexual partner. This would eliminate a lot of doubt. OR simply pay for the paternity test. Your choice.

3) The reason that most of these women get legal support for free is because they are usually uneducated or unemployed and have no financial backing to get legal help. Or maybe it is perhaps because they are smart enough to seek the free avenues first...you know, making use of available resources???? Please do not forget that usually women are so broke by the time they seek legal help in getting child support, that they haven't got a dime to spend on legal help. Remember...they are raising a kid!

4) Men are NOT going to prison for irresponsible behavior...they go to prison for breaking they law. The moral of the story here is to CHOOSE YOUR PARTNERS WISELY. What may be a few moments of sexual pleasure could be a lifetime of pain.

5) If you are a single parent paying child support, this is taken into consideration at tax time. No, you are not going to get any exemptions unless this child lives with you. The child support is a financial obligation; the kid is owed it. Yes, you are still a parent, but the kid lives with the mother, 365 days a year.

6) As for divorce issues...that varies from state to state, and from case to case. My suggestion there is to get a good attorney and pray for the best.

7) Alimony is only legal in certain states. If a woman is entitled to alimony, and the man has issues with it, the only thing he can do is travel through the legal system. I personally do not agree with the alimony issue, but in my state it is not legal. So really it is a non-issue for me.

WOMEN DO NOT BENEFIT FINANCIALLY FROM A FAILED RELATIONSHIP. You are kidding yourself if you think this is true. The financial gain that you may think she makes is only what the law says she is entitled to.

Men are misguided in thinking that child support is for her. It is for the child, whether you believe it or not. It is determined by the courts.

Moral of the story....choose your partners wisely.

Answer 6

Dude I was having a pretty good day till you had to ask this question! geeees
Judges and the Laws of this country in totally unfair in most [all] cases and make life a living hell for men who divorce with children no matter what the circumstances.
Whats really makes matters worse are those hundreds of thousands of dead beat dads who pay nothing and then the children suffer that makes me even madder!
For the few good men or dads who try to do the next right thing are punished by laws that should protect the children from the dead beats but in turn are free to walk the streets and never pay a dime.
Now I know that the system is really unfair when it comes to being dragged back into the court for petty reasons and like stated men pay the court cost and by the time they leave the court will most times lose more rights, Money, time with the kids! anything to hurt the poor ole dad again, yep make him pay till he's dead then they can go drink to his bones!!!! ha!

I feel better already!

Answer 7

You are:
1) Obviously a man
2) Obviously a man scorned by the system
3) A fool

How many women ACTUALLY benefit from the $20.00 they may see a month, if the man chooses to pay? Yeah they are living the high life and still getting paid LESS than men in the workplace. And how many of your wonderful men are impregnating woman after woman and not being responsible by wrapping up their penis so they don't have more children to pay for? Honestly, you make it sound like all women who get child support are rolling in dough. Just because you have been through the wringer does not mean ALL men are crucified for their actions. Please.

Answer 8

5) It depends on how your case went. My judge suggested alternating claims. It was so granted. Now every other year, I get to claim my son on taxes.

6) Division of property does not include premarital property and is offset by the parent who is awarded custody of the children.

7) Alimony is awarded to the person who made a lot less in a divorce (usually the woman makes less).

It used to be that women were screwd in law and then the pendulum swung the other way... hard... for a long time.
That is slooowly changing.

Answer 9

The system has been unfair to men in regards to custody and child support. For example my ex has never worked and was able to get child support simply by filing for it. I got stuck with $5000 in expenses for her hospital stay in addition to the child support. When I wanted to get visitation it cost me nearly $2000 . In other words, her rights were automatically protected. I had to 'buy' mine. She STILL doesn't work but I can't lose my job or I am considered a 'deadbeat' or a criminal. Where is her responsibility?

Look at the string of mothers that get off after killing their kids. They aren't held responsible. They blame the problem on the guys they are with or let them off saying they are insane. Once again, no responsibility.

Two guys that I know of ARE standing up for men's rights. Tom Leykis and Glenn Sacks. Of course, if you mention the unfairness you will be labeled as a sexist, a misogynist, or are told you have anger issues.

Answer 10

I know a man going through a messy divorce. His soon to be ex-wife is mulitple personality skitzophrenic/bipolar and doesnt take her meds.

AND SHE GOT CUSTODY OF THEIR SON! WHAT THE HECK!?

Yes this country is extremely unfair to Dads/Men. I am helping him fight for custody and everything that is rightfully his. Im not a lawyer just a caring soul that believes the system is totay screwed up.

There are alot of dead-beat dad's out there, but there are also alot of VERY INCAPABLE dead beat mom's out there as well, and its time the courts realized that.

If my marriage ever failed, I wouln't sit back and collect money and child support, I would get off my butt and WORK, thats supposed to be the "American way."