My husband & i have had previous trouble, but things have been going ok until recently. He has stopped showing affection any affection towards me. We haven't had sex in 3 wks(normal is 4-5's a wk). He's come home @4am & lied about where was. He was rushed to the hospital 1 night when he was @work because of scrotal pain, when I got to hospital the doctor seemed very uncomfortable with me there. His diagnosis was epidimitis. Then I found that he's been frequenting porn web sites, almost as soon as I leave for work in the morning. Some are normal porn sites, but most are transexual porn, women w/penises. This is 3rd time in 3 yrs I have found this. He wont explain it or even speak w/me about the porn. I dont even know how to handle it myself. What does that mean? I asked him if we are ok, if we are falling apart. He says no. he tells me he loves me, but only gives me pecks for kisses. We still sleep in bed together& the lack of physical intimacy is killing me!
2007-06-09 02:42:26 · 21 answers · asked by kah35 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been married 13 yrs & have 3 children. He also cant account for money that apparently just disappeared. He also called out from work & drove 200 miles away, without letting me know til afterward. I love him, but I have no idea how i should be handling this. I am walking on eggshells, because i dont want to make the situation worse, cause an argument. which would give him reason to leave. Please give serious advice.
2007-06-09 02:50:08 · update #1
My gut feeling here is that he drove 200 miles to have sex with another of his own kind. What else could motivate him to take such a huge risk? Here's what your real fear should be. You should be most worried that he's messing around with gay sex, and is at high risk for AIDS. That puts you at risk for AIDS too. Maybe he already has tested positive and that's why he won't have sex with you? It's a thought. The second thing to worry about is what kind of a model he is for your kids. And third, the way things are going, what if he suddenly announces he's been seeing a doctor that will turn him into a woman? How awkward is that going to be? Unfortunately, I don't see this one having a happy ending for you. It's pretty clear that being a straight guy with a family isn't what he wants. The best thing you can do is find yourself a good counselor and start going. Alone. Your kids really need you and you have to be strong for them. The counselor will help you sort all of this out so you can deal with an irrational situation rationally. And realistically. Get going. Sorry.
Kent in SD
2007-06-09 03:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2
2016-07-19 10:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Transexual Porn Sites
2016-12-12 17:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by chapdelaine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for what you're going through. You know, sexual addictions are the most difficult of all addictions to treat and the prognosis is unfortunately very, very poor. If you are having sex with your husband, you could be in danger physically by contracting AIDS and other STDs. There is no doubt you love your husband and if you can talk him into seeing a sexual addiction specialist, that would be the best thing for him. But, I have to tell you, even if you are successful at getting him into therapy, your troubles will not be over. This will be a long, dangerous battle for you. Most marriages don't survive this and I have to be honest with you; this is not in your best interest to stay with him at this level. I am sure you will get some responses out there that will stay "til death do us part", but this is way out there and it could be your death. Don't underestimate diseases. He's going out til 4 a.m. doing something.
2007-06-09 03:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man with an addiction to transsexual porn is serious. Your husband more than likely is attracted to men. If this behavior just started, he's probably not even sure if you two are falling apart..This is the early stage and he's exploring...If he finds that this is what he really wants, then things WILL fall apart for you two in the future...I think you two need counseling...Get it through work, school, church, wherever you can!!
2007-06-09 02:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow. In reading all of the posts, I learned that most people dont deal with trannis very well. It seems that a lot of fears and self opinions came out in those posts. It kinda made me sad for everyone.
Your husband has a fetish that he is exploring. I am a trans girl who meets with straight married guys often. Theres nothing unsafe or dirty or what ever you feel is occurring. A TG girl is in lots of ways, a "girl relating" experience that is comfortable because of the dynamic of the girls psychological range. A quote from something I read "Some men find today's so-called independent woman to be not very feminine at all, overly assertive, argumentative, prone to characterizing a simple male advance as "harassment," and a general pain in the *** to be around. One guy told me dating a so-called independent woman "is like dating your brother." Who among the women of today delight in being extremely (and classically) feminine? The TS's." The link is here: http://www.tsgirlfriend.com/date-a-pre-op-ts-article.html
It is not something to fear. PLEASE DONT FEAR IT!
Since you guys are married, it looks like, time for a new level of bedroom play is in order. Embrace it. Don't call it bad and run from it. You'll be glad you didn't...
2014-01-02 15:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by Bekah V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband too has a porn addiction. we have a good sex life now but there were times when he shut me off and turned on the porn. its easy to do that w/ porn. it desensitizes people so sometimes they dont want the real thing (hes seen your body so he might get bored--- i dont think its the right thing but im stating what might happen) so he just keeps going at it and doesnt know how to stop. he prob needs proff help. its hard to stay away otherwise. been down that road. good luck. email me if you have any qwestions.
2016-03-13 08:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I never thought I would see so many idiots...
Most are worrying about that it's transsexual women and less about the whole relationship hitting a Plataea
2013-11-11 14:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Felicia Con 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to hire a private detective and find out what your husband is really doing, sounds really bad, sorry to say, but that's very suspicious behavior.
Let him continue to avoid sex, in fact, encourage it until you find out if he is putting you at risk for disease or not.
2007-06-09 02:56:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that you should get a divorce, as things have changed greatly. It is not your fault, but you don't need or deserve this.
Find a man who gives you attention. He is a porno addict.
2007-06-09 02:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋