i was married to my ex for 9 years. we fell apart june 26 2006. we went to court so he can get some time to see his 3 kids. well he's time to see his kids are every other friday night at 6pm - sunday 6pm. well for a few times he dont come and get them because he has to work sometime on the weekends and some time his mom dad sister or some one else is sick in the house and he cant come and get them. but he wants joint custody. he dont even get them the weekends when its his time most of the time. what should i do give him the joint custody? please help me out here.
2007-06-09 02:22:28 · 12 answers · asked by lil mama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your Ex is almost certainly going thru some financial hardships at this time, aren't we all ! I suspect he pays child support on 3 children and now also has to maintain a home of his own. His present living situation is most likely temporary and hopefully will improve. Give him some additional time to catch up to speed with his obligations. I wouldn't be all that fearful of a dad wanting joint custody of there children. They also love there children and simply want to remain in the lives of the ones they love. Your children will grow and learn on there own if you helped or hindered there relationship with there father. Do the right thing and be a good mom.
2007-06-09 02:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tony D. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firt off to Lauren who said: no, if he cant be responsible enough to put his kids before his job now, joint custody will only worsen the problem.
Laren,it takes that job to support those kids.If he puts the kids before the job then he will lose that job and then he will become a dead beat dad who cannot pay for his kids and will lose any rights to see them!
Unfortunitly not everyone is in a situation where they can work 9-5 monday thru friday and schedule visitations throughout the weekend.This guy is living with brothers and sisters and parents probably because what he pays in child support is not enough to go out on his own therefore he has to deal with other peoples situations and schedules.You cannot expect his family to just drop there schedules and stay healthy because you need to send the kids to him for the weekend.Be the better person here and try getting along with him.Ask him what days would be good for him.Work with him.It will make him happier,the kids will definatly be happier and even you will be happier once you understand why he can't take the kids on a day he is working or a day when "mom is schedules for root canal".I am sure your ex genuinly wants to see his kids.Only a real piece of crap father wouldn't.I know scheduled visits are what the courts appoint but things can be worked out here without involving a judges decision.Even a judge will not intervene when two adults are working out their problems together.You both might be divorced but it doesn't mean you both still can't be partners when it comes to making decisions for your children.
Some of you women are viscous with your answers! some of you are even talking child support finances here and it was not a mentioned issue.I assure you that no man wants custody of his kids just to get out of paying child support because we all know that child support payments are always far less than actually having to support them day in and day out.
2007-06-09 02:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by thejrzdevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he thinks by having joint custody, he will not have to pay child support he is sadly mistaken. If you have sole custody, that means you alone can make decisions for the children as what schools to go to, what doctors and medical treatment you want to authorize, etc. Joint custody would give him a say in these decisions. Find out why he wants to get joint custody. I would want it to show my children that I care about them every bit as much as I ever did and love them enough to want to be part of their daily lives. He may have other motives. Always put the childrens best interest first.
2007-06-09 02:31:32 · answer #3 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes of course... he should have joint custody. My partner has 2 children from his previous marriage, and there are some weekend he does not get the kids, cause he ends up in tears when they have to go back.
joint custody is fair for all parties
mum
dad
kids
2007-06-09 02:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by kylisphant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just let him know that you want him to be apart of there lives and just keep it the way it is because he is not very dependable with his schedule. tell him you would like to share joint because you are both there parents and love them ,but that they need dependability and when he can get on his feet to the point of seeing his children does not rely on others around him and they, the kids know that this is there routine under any circumstance then you would love to have him be an equal in there lives that way. It is important to the children that they have routine when it comes to joint , they have been through a lot when there is divorce the best thing you both can do is keep them secure with things, if he can not, tell him they will be waiting for that to happen. i went through it. i also have 3 boys. 2 years later we have joint custody and we both are there for them.
2007-06-09 02:40:15 · answer #5 · answered by sheri b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT GIVE HIM JOINT CUSTODY
why does he want joint custody? there has to be some underlying reason...if he does not come and get them when he is supposed to, why would he want joint custody?
tell him no...make him fight for it (he could possibly hire a lawyer and get joint custody, but, it is not something i would willingly hand over to him)
there is a reason here somewhere (and it is NOT to benefit you OR the kids)
2007-06-09 02:58:35 · answer #6 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, if he cant be responsible enough to put his kids before his job now, joint custody will only worsen the problem. Kids are preceptive and will know what is taking place soon enough. Wait until they are old enough to ask them if they would like split custody first.
2007-06-09 02:28:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He could be acting this way even if he gets joint custody.
2007-06-09 02:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by Klingon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the ages of the kids. If the kids want to be with Dad then let them, If you try to keep them from him they will resent you later in life. Talk to your kids, Let them have a say in the matter.
2007-06-09 02:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by russbillen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have a lawyer handle this for you get it in writing.
2007-06-09 02:26:04 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋