Sticks and stones....?

Question

My mom is a strong believer in this saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

Well I told her of how people bully me verbally at school, and she only repeats that to me and won't give me any other help.

Do you believe the advise she is giving me is proper for the situation I'm in?

Answer 1

That saying is untrue, words do hurt maybe not mentally but physically they do!

You should talk to your counselor at school about this problem you have with other people, and ask her to keep your name anonymous so that the people don't call you a snitch. :]

Good luck!

Answer 2

maybe she's saying you should thwack them with a stick.

seriously though its amazing how parents do not remember bullying and how awful it is:

you have choices:
1) ignore it - tough
2) insult back - selectively pick on one other person constantly until the focus moves from you - not good for the other kid (so don't do)
3) be amusing - difficult and can backfire unless you want to be class clown
4) get to be a member of this group that picks on you - tough
5) build you own group and fit in - potential
6) wait till the ringleader has a terrible cold - and then fight - make them aware everytime they are ill you will repeat until they leave you alone
7) tell a teacher - tricky but may be the only way
8) talk to your parents again - TRY THIS FIRST
9) merge into the background
10) get good at sports - this gives credibility
11) a boyfriend or boy may help - but remember they tend to imature until an age when you don't need their help
12) the answers above are GREAT

maybe show them (your parents) this set of answers - better they dislike us and help you...

If this is useful and you want to ask more - then i put you as a contact (short term) - if its rubbish - just let me know - lol

I hated school till I was 16 and then i went to a new school for A levels and it was brilliant

Answer 3

Good answer for someone who doesn't know how to handle the situation, I guess. Somewhere along the line you became a target for bullies and they seem to enjoy your reaction. You have to be able to tell someone in an authority position in order for this to stop. Most schools now have a Zero tolerance on bullying. Try to remember each incident, write it down, who was there and what happened. Go and talk to the principal of the school about it. Chances are you are not the only one who is being hurt by this person and another complaint lodged against them may do the trick. I hope this helps somewhat, also, you should go to a guidance or Peer counsellor to see if there are any techniques or things that you can learn to make yourself NOT be a target for other bullies. You need to find a way to fight back without becoming one yourself.

Answer 4

Sticks and stones will hurt no matter what. Words can be taken with a grain of salt and I know that they're coming from something wounded or insecure within that person, and I know myself well enough to know that their words really have less to do with me than it is about them. In fact, the only words that really hurt are the unkind things that people I trusted have said about me behind my back, and it's not so much the words themself that hurt, but the action of the betrayal of trust. So I'd have to disagree. I think it really depends most on if you believe the saying is true or not. I do, and I don't allow people's words to hurt me. People who let others' words cut deeply my be more affected by words than "sticks and stones." But bottom line, I'd rather have someone hurling all sorts of insults at me that get punched in the face, because that HURTS!

Answer 5

Hello Love. I was in a very abusive situation for many years. It nearly destroyed me because I was completely unaware that it even WAS abuse... After all, it was purely verbal. I've been told that physical abuse was so much worse. That is Not true. The fact is, physical abuse Comes WITH Verbal Abuse.

You see, bullies want to diminish their prey's strength, reaching into the essence of the very soul to in order to strangle the root of their being. Oh, words definitely have power, Love, especially when coming from loved ones and friends; those closest to us. We are most vulnerable to them because we let them in. we can learn to toughen up against the abundance of abuses that permeates our society… and it is most important we do so because it strengthens us.

I don't know if you are into poetry. If not, you can skip the poem below. It is just simple, but was written after getting out of the situation I mentioned. When I realized what I lost and what was stolen, I was absolutely furious. But that only darkened MY soul and I became as ugly as my abuser for awhile.

But perhaps that was good because it made me see things from a different prospective. I realized that perhaps there was a reason for my abuser’s behavior. It didn't make the behavior OK or take me back to my abuser. But it DID help me forgive!... which released my soul to heal.

There is some pretty good advice above, but if you would like to talk more about this, Love, email me. Anyway, this is my poem about the power of words.


Beware the Words You Choose

************
It’s not hollow when the bible states In the Beginning Was the Word.
Words divulge opinions and truths. They convey the abstract and absurd.
They help poets compose their poems. They can embody a friend or foe;
Enlightening a love of the passion one holds… or striking a powerful blow!
*********

Beware! Oh friend, the words you use to cause one pain and sorrow.
Though they suit your needs today, you may repent them on the morrow!
The right words, chosen with care, can shatter the strongest man.
They can demolish the brightest dreams and can crush the gentle lamb!

An angry tongue can change your life, a life you once enjoyed.
Once harsh words escape your lips, they can never be made void!
It may seem gratifying, at the time, to bring your love to tears,
But bitter words can pierce the heart and fester through the years.

Look intensely upon yourself; find the scars that lay thereon;
Reminders of ancient wounds, though physical pain is gone.
Look now deeply into your heart; recall when you were young.
Are there wounds that still ache from words of a hostile tongue?

Merciless, vindictive words carry a deadly stinger.
Many years may pass away, but their painful wounds may linger.
If this was your intent, if you're conscious of what’s inflicted,
In wounding another’s heart, you can’t escape unaffected.

Each conquest has its cost. It’s victory with a double-edged sword.
It’s harsh, bittersweet taste leaves a callous heart as reward.
Boasting lies does not help, for the heart knows the truth,
You’ll quickly learn a brutal heart really can’t be soothed.

Residue of harsh words cling, a gloom you can’t escape,
With each wound they inflict, a darker soul takes its shape.
Charity is the antidote. It brings illumination to the night.
Forgiveness; a gift one gives oneself, for with it comes respite.

Answer 6

That is a huge lie,perpetuated for generations by parents who don't know what else to say about bullying. Your Mom means well-she's not lying to be mean.

Sticks and stones break the body---words can break your spirit and your heart. Your problems with verbal abuse are very real. Believe me when I tell you that you can learn to ignore verbal abuse. the abuser will find out what you feel bad about yourself and try to use it against you. If you feel good about yourself,you'll know that the hurtful words come from people who are wracked with self-doubt. Their abuse of you makes their sorry azzes feel better. Don't fall for it!! you know you're a good person so screw 'em!!!

Answer 7

I believe this old saying is OLD. Names do hurt, and so do bullies, and this saying does a lot of harm. My ex went to the pharmacist and got them to print labels on pill bottles which read, sticks and stones break my bones and names will surely kill me. It said, repeat this mantra 5 times a day, then she handed the bottles out to pupils in her Art class.

Answer 8

Stick and stones may break my bones, but time will heal them. Words leave emotional scarring. When kids call me needle freak becuase I need to inject insulin, that always hurts way more than the insulin syringe could ever hurt. tell your mom that the response she is giving you is not appropriate for your situation, and that words may 'break' you more than anything tangible ever could.

Answer 9

Sticks and Stones can break your bones, words can only break your Heart.

Please talk to someone about the abuse, people suicide because of things like that! Emotional hurt doesn't show like physical damage does, but it can sure scar you worse!

Answer 10

No, I feel either you should tell the teacher or principal about this to solve this problem or you should ask your mother to solve the problem for you by asking her to talk to your teachers. I would recommend you talk with your teacher and ask her to solve this by telling those people to quit bullying you verbally in school. I sympathize with you, because I was picked at and made of fun of a lot when I was young in elementary school, middle school, and high school.