I was recently divorced after 20 years. Not to say that it was a good relationship, we stayed together for the kids. But he has had a new girlfriend since the time we were lagally separated. since she has come into his life he thinks that he can DICTATE to me when what and where about my son, even though I got primary custody of our 15 yr old son (the youngest of the 4). This summer my mother fell very ill, and with summer vacation he thinks that I should not be able to see him (as I am traveling back and forth from Fl. to Ga.) I had to call my lawyer to make him let me see him for a weekend. I know that she is behind all of his decisions (only because he is not a man and I have had to be this way too throughout our 20 marriage). The only reason he is with her is for her money, she has bought a home and he is moving out of our home and it's being foreclosed, I also have a 50 % interest in. How do I deal with him and her when they are both acting like little kids? Or am I being a wimp.
2007-06-09 02:05:55 · 17 answers · asked by C G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Legally enforce your primary custody rights each chance you get and keep a record of it.
Develop a record to show a judge that you care and are willing to do what it takes to keep the custody rights you were granted.
Every time you have to see an attorney to get your son back, it looks worse for them.
2007-06-09 02:10:35 · answer #1 · answered by tabulator32 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you two should have gotten together to keep paying the mortgage to protect your equity in the house, but it sounds too late for that. Second, you should have a serious talk with your ex and lay down ground rules about your son...in the best interest of your son and without the girlfriend's input. Since your son is 15, you should however, get his opinion. Since YOU have primary custody, I don't understand why you had to call your lawyer to see your son for a weekend. It's better that you're doing the traveling during summer vacation instead of during the school year. Good luck.
2007-06-09 02:15:39 · answer #2 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are still bitter over the divorce. And maybe a little jealous about his girlfriend. Let your son decide where he wants to be/be with. He is old enough that the court will let him decide where he wants to be. Don't use him as a weapon against your ex, in the long run it will only hurt him.
2007-06-09 02:17:11 · answer #3 · answered by russbillen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you are NOT being a wimp. this is high stress. You are sandwiched between your mom's needs and your son's right now and the ex putting added pressure on you just adds to your burden.
Stick to your custody agreement and use your lawyer if you have to to keep it enforced. If you do that the first couple of times he tries to dispute your authority in your son's life then he will KNOW you will use the lawyer again if he does it again.
Then you will only have to threaten to call the lawyer if he does not abide by your custody agreement. He'll know you mean business.
Hang in there. You'll get through this. Pray and see good things happening in your mind, visualize happy endings to this and other difficult situations. See The Secret. (www.thesecret.tv). Borrow it from your library.
2007-06-09 02:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsianna P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have alot going on. Why is it that you can't see your son if you have custody?
Generally the new GF wants the man to herself, not share him with the kids. I think maybe you may be a bit jealous of the new GF, you have not given a reason (examples) of how you think she is controlling things. Just that you think it and he is not a man.
And if she is pushing him to do things it really doesn't and shouldn't matter to you except for your son, which you said you had custody of. At 15 he knows what is going on, may be playing dad against mom with out you knowing
2007-06-09 02:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by glbenner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up on your kid. Why did the house go into foreclosure, did he not try to sell it? Talk to your lawyer and if he doesn't give you good answers, find a new one. If you have 50% vested in the house and you don't want to live in it and catch up the payments then it should be sold and the profits split.
2007-06-09 02:10:49 · answer #6 · answered by mel s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of bumps isn't?? Have your lawyer hash out ALL details on what can and can't be done, he's acting like an ***, sorry to hear about your mom this just makes things worse, you need to not let "them" get under your skin, this is what divorce does to most people it turns them into asses.
2007-06-09 02:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let him know what ever goes on with your children your ex you both will deal with it not his new girlfriend she is not their Mother you are and girlfriends have no rights to both living parents . If he is only their for her money than some day it will run out and than what is he going to do . Stand up for your self let this girlfriend know where you stand put her in her place .Don't let him do this to you good luck
2007-06-09 02:22:05 · answer #8 · answered by Libra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is none of his girlfriends business! Your child is a child, not an object. You should ask your lawyer what action can be taken against him for denying your visitation for you son. As for the girlfriend, if she says anything to you, just do an Angela Bassett move on her (like in wating to exhale)! Slap the mess out of her!
2007-06-09 02:14:05 · answer #9 · answered by Black Deadly Femme Fatale 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ONLY thing you can control in this whole situation is yourself. You can't control him, you can't control her, you can't change who they are or what they do. You CAN however, change how your respond to their demands. You CAN control how much and how often your son is in the middle. You can control (with the advise of an attorney) how the visitation works. Each state has laws that define how custody and visitation works. Read your laws, and abide by them.
Let THEM go...live your life, trust God to handle the rest, and relax.
2007-06-09 02:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by mamabair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋