My STBEx-Husband seems to be the classic Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. When he's w/his "mistress" (whom he left me for) he's a total Mr. Hyde -- rude, cold, says hateful things, says that he hates me more than anything, calls me inappropriate names, laughs at his "mistress" when she does the same to me, complains about me asking for $$ for our daughter. But when she's not around, & our daughter & I are visiting him, he's Dr. Jekyll -- nice, friendly, all smiles, apoligizes for earlier events, swears he does NOT hate me, gives me $$ (though never very much) without complaining, has even bought me lunch several times.
I dont get it? I simply want to be friends w/him for our daughter's sake, but it's not going to work if I'm the friend in person, but the "evil ex" when she's around.
I'm curious to try to understand why he's acting like this? Is he trying to impress her? or just being fake? why is he only nice when she's not there?
2007-06-09 01:24:55 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
[ oh, & for those who follow my posts, i found out yesterday he's not the 1st married man she's dated. she gets them to leave their families, divorce, then a few weeks after it's final, she leaves them! big suprise! and I can't tell him, he hasn't believed a word about her yet! she's using him for his money, just as she did all the other married men! he's ruining his career, credit, bank account, and his life! how STUPID!!!! ]
2007-06-09 01:26:06 · update #1
HB,
I continue to follow your story. Not surprising this STB Ex of yours is such a jerko and more confused in his state than he is confident a person should be, again it doesn't surprise me. No advice here that can be given that has not already been provided on this recent event(s).
If it makes you feel better to say what you want about the "mistress" then go ahead; however, it may be more prudent to keep that to yourself, let the cards fall where they will and watch his new house/relationship wither away. Choice is yours, you seem like such a sweet kid - but your daughter really needs your best - somehow I believe you keep that in focus. Thanks for the update.
Sincerely,
Gerry
2007-06-09 06:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by Gerry 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be friends with your ex.......... its nice when it works out that way, but its not needed to be an effective co-parenting team.
Sadly, your ex is not a man as I would define a man..... he is a boy who feels that he has to build up his mistress by knocking you down. I am sure that she encourages it to make herself feel better and.......... in a few weeks or months, when she leaves him for her next victim........ she will be happy cuz the rift that she's opened between you and your ex will be a big one.
Wish there were some grow up pills you could give your ex. Wish he has that part of his brain that says that there's no reason for him to bad mouth you. This is not the case, however.
Time is a great healer, but there's an expression that I heard once that might be of interest to you: Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.........
Karma won't be pretty when it comes around on the mistress... or your ex..... but meanwhile you have to rise above the fray. Focus on your kid...... give her the best of you in a difficult situation and things will even out. Probably very soon.
Good luck to you
2007-06-09 01:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try reading Edgar Allen Poe. A lot of what he wrote, such as Fall of the House of Usher, Mask of the Red Death, and the Cask of Amanotadillo are exampled of Victorian Gothic. If you want to go back to the roots of gothic literature, try Ann Radcliffe's books. She's considered one forerunners of gothic lit. The Monk by Matthew Lewis is a nice, creepy continuation of her work. Although strictly speaking, Frankenstein and Jekyll and Hyde fall under horror or science fiction more than they do gothic. In which case, Dracula is marvelous.
2016-04-01 12:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, the hope of friendship is not worth it when he has to put on a show infront of his mistress at your expense.
It is rude for him to malign you when she is around and be really nice to you when she's not.
The fact that he left you for her is enough reason for you not to believe in whatever it is he has to say, show or do.
At the end of the day, he will still be your child's father and nothing cna change that. But friendship cannot also change the fact that he betrayed you and your family.
Enough of the pain. Be the person you are supposed to be without depending on whether he will still look your way or not.
2007-06-09 01:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by attyjudz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dontcha just hate home wreckers?
Anyway, this guy sounds like he's got serious issues!! Perhaps that is why he left you in the first place...This man needs to work on himself, because he's obviously pretty screwed up! Either he's got mental issues or he's trying to "impress her" like you said, or its both.
Also, he got his mistress alright!! She's living large and taking charge!! I'm sure he's cried on some occasions--from the bank that is...She's ruining his life....Well, you reap what you sow right?!
2007-06-09 01:41:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, get away from him...he is moron, get him in court and nail his butt to the cross. Plain and simple. hes not trying to impress her, he is just being a D I C K. He has to be mean when she is there, or she'll jump his butt when they get alone. He is a wimp and a wiener for doing what she wants, and I'd like to punch his head in for ya. He isn't a man at all but a little boy trying to act like a man, and I'm sure his mom saw the same kind of treatment from his dad when he was young, so he thinks its ok to act like that.
2007-06-09 02:52:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he will find out soon enough the hard way. Next time she says crap to you, let it out of the bag that you know all about her married men. List them. And let her know she is nothing but a homewrecker. Tell your husband he is a fool for hooking up with her and he may want to investigate her so he will know the truth.
2007-06-09 01:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is trying to impress her !!!
But, he is making a Fool out of himself !!!
What comes around, goes around !!!
So don't say anything about his "Mistress" past !!!!
Why, because if she uses him up and spits him out,
he deserves it !!!!!!!!
And when he gets dumped, he is going to try to come back
to you on a rebound !!!!!
Hopefully, you would have someone better who will
treat you with the love and respect that you deserve !!!!
Good Luck.
2007-06-09 01:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes just trying to impress her at your expense. i would have a talk with him, and tell him not to have any conversation, any visitaion, or anything if shes around. you dont deserve that, oh ... hope they believe in karma!!! that **** is for real
2007-06-09 01:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you have a lawyer file papers on child support then you do not have to deal with him????
2007-06-09 02:24:01 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋