got in a fight with my gf, and I was arrested Can I fight it?

Question

I got into an argument with my girlfriend the other day, and she got really sassy with me. I'm sorry to say that I lost it and smacked her. I hit her harder than I thought because I was drunk, and she fell back.

She got up, and started screaming at me. I started to approach her again. I wasn't going to hit her, but she thought I was, and she kicked me in the balls. Real hard. I fell down, and by the time I could breath and get back on my feet, someone --maybe a neighbor--had called the police.

After we both told our stories, I ended up spending the night in jail. The police said that I was the "primary agressor" becasue I started it, and I was a bigger threat, and she felt "reasonably threatened" to act in self-defense.

What I don't get is, how is that self-defense, to respond to a slap with a kick in the balls? She knows I'm no threat to her. I think that I was treated unfairly. Is there any recourse I have? Can I have her charged with assault

Answer 1

Making the first physical contact makes you the primary aggressor.

She had no way in the world to know that you were "no threat" to her. You were drunk and you admit you hit her harder than you thought. What was she supposed to do, wait until you hit her again--harder than you thought--and killed her?

Good for her, I hope your balls hurt for a week. Plead no contest and stop drinking.

Answer 2

No you can not have her charged with assault and no you do not have any grounds to fight your charge. Based on your story any police officer (and now judge or jury) would have determined you to be the primary agressor. Just your use of the word "sassy" shows that you look down upon your girlfriend (hopefully now ex-girlfriend because she is done with you) and feel that she should not be allowed to talk back to you.

You said yourself you hit her hard enough to knock her back so certainly she rightfully percieved you as a threat. Consider yourself lucky all you got was a kick in the balls because after being hit hard and having you come at her again she might just have gotten away with shooting you in self defense. Would it make sense for her to respond to your slap with a slap back, what would that accomplish, she wanted to neutralize the threat and did a great job at it. Many females know that a well placed kick in the balls works well and if you don't smarten up and stop hitting women you'll probably get a few more.

Answer 3

What part of "smacking her" was she not to consider a threat?

As the police did not charge when the arrived on the scene, they are not going to charge her now for the reasons you have already mentioned above.

You might be able to sue her in Small Claims Court if you have any medical bills for treatment, but the Judge is likely to rule in her favor as the police report will indicate you hit her and she was acting in self-defense.

If you have no priors, get into an alcohol rehab program and/or anger management program, get a lawyer to try to plead the charges down to a lesser count to avoid doing any jail time.

Answer 4

You initiated the attack by smacking her and when you approached her again, she had no clue what you were going to do and thought you were going to hurt her so she kicked you out of fear for her safety ~ that IS self defense. She can't read your mind and know you weren't going to hurt her again.

If you can't handle drinking any better than this, you need to give it up or you are going to end up with more problems like this and you could end up paralyzing someone or killing them and not even remember what you did.

And you need to write a letter of apology to your girlfriend and pour your heart out to her ~ let her know how sorry you are for what happened.

When you go to court, apologize there, too, and let them know you really regret your actions and own up to what you did like a man should. You might also consider going somewhere and getting some counseling. It would be very beneficial to you in the long run to understand why you did this.

Hoping you will think about what happened and grow from it. Wishing you well.

Answer 5

Criminal charges are invariably filed by a state or federal attorney. So no, the only thing you can do is inform the police which has already happened. If you want to push it, you can complain to the state attorney's office I suppose.

You're not going to like to hear this, but you were treated fairly from what I'm reading here. You were drunk and hit someone hard because of it. She feared for her safety and put you out of business in a way you'll remember for a while.

My suggestions:
- Never get drunk again as you clearly can't control yourself when you are.
- Beg forgiveness of your gf.

Answer 6

Good for her when she kicked you in the balls,she should have cut them off to.I hope they toss the book at you and knock some sense into you with it.Oh by the way I hope you get years in jail. And also you are a threat to her you hit her.No she stopped a threat to her she should have shot you and said she feared for her life and would have gotten away with it.

Answer 7

I would say, this can be difficult from your point of view.
In all honesty it doesn't sound like the smartest thing to have let this happen because stuff like this can happen and you look like the bad guy.
But, I would try and deal with the situation as it is now. It may just make it worse to try and charge her with assault since many lawyers could give you their opinion that she might get things to side in her favor since men in general can usually be considered more of a threat 'physically speaking' to women than vice versa.
Maybe she thought you might strike her again but wasn't sure.
In my opionion she should not have done that to you. But look at it this way, if she didn't do it and someone had called the cops on you guys, it would have looked worse for you in a way and she could have given them a worse 'sounding' story that it really was.
All I am saying is it's possible.
This has happened with my family so I know. It's tough, but ultimately it's up to you if you decide to pursue this further.

My opinion is have no more to do with her. I mean, is it worth it and you'll have to consider, will she cause something like this trouble for you in the future and is that worth it? It's really up to you.

Answer 8

You hit your girl??!!! Drunk or not, YOU DON'T HIT A GIRL. This should be common knowledge. You are at fault and if you could fight it; you should not fight it be a man and take responsibility for your actions. I don't know you; you could be a good person. Nevertheless you hit a girl and that's wrong take what you get. Be a man and take what you get and if drinking makes you hit girls (stop)

Answer 9

you can try to press charges but doubt it will work. you are now an abuser. you will probably be found guilty, have to go to anger management classes (lasts about 26 weeks) on your dime. might be ordered not to have contact with her, depends on if she shows up to court. but in most states, she doesn't have to. once domestic abuse is claimed, she has no say in how the prosecutor proceeds. and both of you being drunk is no excuse. my only resource is my son and his gf having a fight and she hit him with the car and he punched her. she got the restraining order and he had to do the classes, and go back to court many times to show accountability. good luck to you, probably should stop drinking.

Answer 10

No? You slapped her. Then you approached her again. You were drunk and under the influence. If anything I would have pressed charges against you. She felt threatened. Go kill yourself please, this is why I hate men. If I saw you slap a women I would grab you by the hair and punch you in the ******* neck.