want to get a divorce and i'm 4 months pregnant, and a military spouse, what is the best thing for me to do?

Question

i found out my husband enrolled in a sex website to meet other women in the area for "just sex visits". i had a problem with him cheating in the past. im 4 months pregnant and i want to leave. we were married in SC and now live on base in FL. it will be 2 years sept. he claims i will only get $250 a month in child support if i leave. i dont know what im entitled to or how to go about this. he is an e-5 in the AF. does anyone know what i can do to make this as easy as possible on myself. i want to get out ASAP. about a month ago he was searching online "how to enduce a miscarriage". im trying to get out of a sticky situation, any information would be very helpful. thank you :)

Answer 1

Go to his Commanding Officer.

Tell him everything.

Answer 2

you being a military spouse doesn't exactly give you any privileges, because you're still a civilian, but you can always take it up to his first Sargent (or whoever is equivalent to that in the Marines). If you get a divorce, you're still probably entitled to alimony, and once you're a 'single mom' there are plenty of government programs that offer free or discounted child care so that you can get a job. Get a lawyer if you feel like you need to, but remember that he'll have one too from the military. Honestly though, if you don't have a job (I am in no way trying to lessen you, motherhood is a job all in it's own), and he's the only one financially contributing to the checking account, I'm not sure if he's doing anything illegal (but definately immoral). You don't deserve this girl, get away from him.

Answer 3

I would print off the proof that he's trying to enduce a miscarriage. I would then take it to JAG and they can tell you the legal aspects of a military divorce. I am not sure how much you're entitled to but I believe you only get coverage under tricare for a year-starting from the date of the divorce. I believe this applies for the baby as well. If JAG thinks there's enough to warrant something, they will contact the MPs. I think the military counts human life being at 26/28 weeks into pregnancy. I would also let his commanding officer aware of what's going on. In the meantime I'd go to family services on post or to your chaplain. They can help assist you in alternative living arrangements and help you get your feet on the ground. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 4

first of all, does your family live anywhere near you? if so, then you really need their support (emotional, and possibly financial) at this time.
are you close with any of the chaplains on base? they might have some of the information you need. how about the mwr on base? there are always lawyers in the areas surrounding military installations, relationships are so fragile, and can be broken by so many things.
is there an abused women's shelter nearby? or a telephone hotline?
bottom line, if you are staying for the financial security of an e-5, then you might be better off on public assistance. you also want to make sure that he signs over custody of the baby to you, solely. he will still have to pay child support, but, you will be the sole custodial parent (making it easier to file charges if he attempts to kidnap the baby later) and, one thing, visitation and child support are NOT tied together, meaning you don't have to give in to unscheduled visitation just because he might pay the child support. also, he can't be denied visitation just because he's negligient in paying the child support. however, his wages WILL be garnisheed, automatically, by the military. and if he falls behind, not only will his tax refund be rerouted, to you, but he will also catch real problems from command. best of luck

Answer 5

Best bet...get a lawyer yesterday. They will explain local law concerning child support. Make sure you also get an "agent' card from the services squadron after the child is born and the divorce finalized. Request from the judge he be responsible for maintaining health and dental for the child while he is affiliated with the armed forces and be responsible for half of whatever is not covered. The local family court will have information for you as well. But see a lawyer for at least a free consultation. You will be entitled to BAQ and Separate Rations support if he draws them. Visit the base JAG office to find out your entitlements upon divorce. Report the books and web site to his commander, it can be construed as attempted assault/murder and conduct unbecoming an NCO/Air Force service member possibly. They can order him to the barracks as well until the divorce is finalized. But he can request your expulsion as well. If you have been married for over ten years you will be entitled to half his retirement too. Check on alimony laws for the state as well, you may be entitled.

Answer 6

Go to the nearest military hospital and ask to see a psychologist. If word gets to your husband, say it's very personal and you'll share when your counselor says it's ok.

If your husband is in a danger zone, do not announce your intention before you can see him. You wouldn't want him to run into the line of fire.

Make sure the psychologist is going to keep your confidence. Tell him the circumstances and as for advice.

See someone from your church or your religion who you respect. Present your feelings and ask the same thing.
If there's no such person, think about whether there's a father figure (not your father) you respect who can give the same sort of advice that respects your heart.

When your psychological advisor and your spriritual advisor agree, see if you can follow their advice.

Answer 7

Take it to a civilian attorney who knows military law.
Here's what your baby will receive though---not you, but the child--medical, dental, child support, possibly part of his BAH for the shelter of this child.

Make SURE your attorney KNOWS military law---not just a Joe Shmoe okay? Sounds like he's trying to screw you out of stuff that your child is entitled to.
Oh, and military will insist on a paternity test before putting his name on a birth certificate.
Yes, an attorney is gonna cost you some money. Try to work a deal with them on that. A lot of them will.
And no, JAG or IA will not assist a spouse. Those attorney's are for personnel only. And it's not a military issue, it's a civilian issue.----Just to clarify that misconception. ;)

Good luck to you hon.

Answer 8

Okay, work on taking charge of your own life. Eliminate him from your planning. Assume you have to provide your own financial support. Look at your education, skills, talents and training. Consider what further training you can get, what education you can get, all to improve your financial potential. You won't be the first woman who has to be the sole support of herself and a child. So plan on living that way. Then, if he comes through with anything it is gravy. Start now learning skills.Take correspondence courses, go to Internet schools, etc. Also, use the Internet to find a job. If he can play around on the Internet, so can you. Good luck.

Answer 9

omg. how to induce a miscarriage??? really? that's called attempted murder. how did you find this out? can you print out a log? and no, $250 is not all you would get. my sister's dad had to pay $500.00 and he got an attorney. my mom could have gotten more, but she was too lazy to ask for more. and you still have alimony to add on to that. the military won't let him get away with it. all my mom did was make one complaint to his supervisor and all of a sudden he filed to pay child support. the supervisors won't let the men get away with their responsibilities.

Answer 10

I know you can get legal representation on base. Make some phone calls and a visit to find out exactly where you stand......