Im 25 and my husband is 32. Im with him for 5 years. We are now living together for 5mths. All these 5yrs, Im the one who need to start everything. He never show interest. He take good care of me like an angel. But Im 25, I need it but hate to start it by myself all the time. Ive a nice body and most of the guys find me attractive. Whats wrong with him?
2007-06-08 18:15:49 · 29 answers · asked by shygal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
most likely nothing is wrong with him, that is just the way he is
2007-06-08 18:18:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
After 5 years, ma'am, it's NOT going to suddenly just change. Prayer *might* bring about a miracle, but God mostly helps us when we try to help ourselves.
So start by talking to your husband. If it's hard to make him take you seriously, tell him you were desperate enough to ask advice from strangers, and prove it with this page!
Depending on what you find out, you can
1) Start divorce proceedings,
2) Start marriage counseling, or
3) Just stay married--with the knowledge that any sex you ever get you'll have to ask for. Because yes, there are people of both sexes who just don't care about sex.
2007-06-09 01:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by georgetslc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK, don't believe the kids throwing the gay crap out. He either has some anxiety about it or the setting isn't right. These days guys are under so much pressure to "perform" so sex turns into a chore instead of love-making. We have to also perform the next morning in work so he could be tired too. Don't be completely direct in case he has pride but find out what settings, words, etc gets him in the mood. Get you both wanting it, not just you.
2007-06-09 01:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by asahiippo 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Could be a lot of reasons girl. From personality, sexual orientation, or medical. Check with the family doc to see if he is depressed, clinically. Check prostate and testosterone. Most men like sex all they can get it. Discuss it with a sex therapist. Have you ever turned down his advances in the past? Sometimes it can mentally scar people. Try thowing a porno in but don't start anything yourself and see if he tries anything. Suggest role playing where he picks you up in a club or something. Sex therapist for you first about your frustrations alone....then see if they can draw him into the therapy.
2007-06-09 03:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you're going to need to talk about it with him. Some men have really bizarre ideas about sex especially female sexuality. He may actually believe that it's disprespectful to ask you for sex, like he's pressuring you into doing your 'wifely duty' instead of engaging in a fun activity together. The general expressions are often about men 'doing it' to women or that it's a favour women do for men. He may have some left over sexual guilt, if he grew up with sex negative influences ie. religion, abstinence training ect. He might just be shy or afraid you'll reject him.
So, ask him. Tell him that you want him to start things up sometimes. You need to communicate your sexual needs, wants and desires with your husband otherwise it will never get better. Men are not mind readers and our society is so messed up when it comes to sex and sexuality that these sorts of issues need to be spoken about.
2007-06-09 01:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are not giving him the kind of sex he wants. My wife settles on laying on her back and letting me do all the work, gets boring after a while; she does not respond, she is picky about how and where I touch her... she does not reciprocate and is highly inhibited. If she changes her mind in the middle of the act, she simply pushes me off and rolls over to go to sleep leaving me hanging, unfulfilled and angry. I want to have sex but not with her anymore. Reflect on what's missing that has pushed him away.
2007-06-09 06:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by genxrage 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the early to mid 30's men have less sex drive then men younger. It is do to many reason, such as stress, lower testosterone, and if he has been with you for 5 years he may have become a little bored(not saying it is anything you have/haven't done).
There are many was to impove this, the simpliest is to talk to him and tell him how you feel or have him work out more, and maybe lose some weight which may increase his desire.
2007-06-09 01:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
nothing....that's just him. sadly. my bf and I have had a similar situation. his job is high stress and he works long hours so he's tired all the time...which means, no sex for me. It sucks! haha...but some guys are just like that. your best bet, talk to him. that's what I do anytime I'm feeling insecure. mostly because it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, or that maybe he's distancing himself from me. my bf tells me I'm crazy and that I worry to much. So I tell him what I need/want to hear, or I ask him stuff like if he thinks I'm sexy, it's a boost in selfesteam (sp?) and regardless of whether it's coaxed out of him or not, it still makes me feel better.
Another suggestion, we've started scheduling an exact day and time that we plan to have sex...and leave little notes or whisper things to him to remind him. Put it in big print on your computer screen, something to tell him, this day and this time we are going to have sex...then don't initiate the sex, wait for him to. But tell him in advance, when you plan the day what you expect of him, don't just expect him to initiate it if you don't ask him to. Yeah your hand feeding him, but it's probably not because you are unattractive to him or because he doesn't want to, it's probably just because he doesn't think about it.
Guys also don't relate sex to emotional relationships like women do. It's a physical act that brings them pleasure, for most women, especially in relationships, it much more than that and when your not getting it, it feels like you are missing much more than just sex.
Best advise, talk to him and ask him what he thinks and why he doesn't want to have sex. Ask him to try to iniate it more often.
This is also common in long term relationships since you've become comfortable around each other. The key to relationships is communication, corny but true!!! He can't fix it if you don't tell him what's wrong.
2007-06-09 01:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by Happy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He may be nervous, even though you may have done it before, he may feel inadequet(sp). Maybe he is asexual, doesn't really see women as a way to.....you know.
maybe he doesn't want you to think he only thinks about sex, so waits for you to start it, so he knows you're ready. Alot of men are passive, but most don't show it, maybe he likes you being in control.
anyway, he may have some reason. Just ask him....he will probably tell you, then you guys can work on it.
2007-06-09 01:20:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
He may just be a very submissive, hes not a leader person. Isnt the kinda person who likes to make the first move. Nothings wrong with him or you. Its just the way he is. People are different. Of course after 5 yrs id assume he would be comfortable enough with you to make the first move, but what do i know.
2007-06-09 01:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by rental_ninja 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He may not have a high sexual drive. Talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel. Sex is awesome, you shouldn't always have to pursue him, if he loves you the way he says he does then he should want you! He should start it, just try telling him how you feel and see what he says !!! : )
2007-06-09 10:06:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋