Am I suicidal?

Question

I have am interesting mental predicament. I am not suicidal, all though my mind likes to test me. My irrational mind, often brings up the topic of suicide. I am not one to even go in the direction of something so drastic. I am not even that sad, I just deal with a little anxiety. It feels as if my brain is constantly testing me, by bringing up the idea of suicide, I get confused, for I ask myself “does that mean I am suicidal” and then I start to freak out, and I get a headache, and then I start feeling anxiety. The thought of suicide makes me very un-easy, and the fact that I am writing this, and spending m Saturday night asking this, makes me feel like I’m nuts. But sometimes, my brain cant help but to go to a dark place.I don’t want to hurt myself, I WOULD not do that. I am scared by these thoughts, and would rather not have them. They come up as a test, and how I deal with it. I cant help but indulge because its such a serious topic!


Any input, or anything to help me understand the irrational part of my mind. My thoughts contradict my soul and my heart. My soul and heart would never do such a thing, I love life to much. But my brain wants to come in and bother that, and test me.


Oy, headache!

Answer 1

You're experiencing something called 'intrusive thoughts,' or an 'obsession.' While obsessions are most frequently associated with Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, obsessions may occur with any form of anxiety, including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and others.

This is how it works:

You have a thought about suicide, likely because you're experiencing some pain in your life, and your brain includes suicide in your list of options. You react to the thought with thoughts and feelings associated with disgust, shame, guilt, and fear (that one may you might just go through with it, if you didn't think this, you would have never have asked the question 'Am I suicidal?'). You become desperate in your attempt to stifle the thought. Your stifling attempts may be partially successful, common methods include keeping yourself busy or otherwise distracting yourself. Eventually, however, those undesired thought about suicide (which never truly went away), resurface. When they do return, the thoughts are often more stronger and more intrusive.

You're not nuts, but you do appear anxious. The first thing to keep in mind is...thoughts aren't going to hurt you. Thoughts of suicide aren't uncommon, especially among people who are under increased stress. When a suicidal thought occurs to you, simply respond with a simple acknowledgement of the thought (well I'll be...there's that thought again!), make a rational interpretation of the thought (whew, I must be really stressed, my mind is looking for a way out of the pain), and suggest a new thought to accompany the suicidal thought (yeah, I guess suicide might be an option, but so is relaxing and watching a movie).

As I'm sure you've discovered, it is usually not helpful to judge yourself for having suicidal thoughts, nor is it helpful to assign a value to the thought itself. It's just a thought, and it doesn't have any value, positive or negative. Just give it a nod, then move on.

Attempting to NOT think a thought is much like NOT thinking about pink elephants...it's impossible. Be ok with whatever thoughts, and if you choose to, include new ones to think. There is no point in trying to NOT think specific thoughts.

The above suggestions are, of course, easier said than done. A psychologist can assist by giving a third person perspective and coaching you through the process.

As always, if you ever find yourself in a crisis situation, one where you no longer feel safe or in control, call a hospital for help.

Answer 2

You are having what professionals call suicidal ideation. You are not at the point where you have formed a plan or will to act. Therefore you are safe. Everyone has mulled over in there heads the thought of suicide and has even thought of plans. Once this is done, most people decide as you have that this is never going to be an option. If you wish, journal about it and see where you go with it. If it gets stronger, you could go to a professional for help. Remember that the crisis line in your city operates 24/7 and you can call without shame. They can even give you names and phone numbers of places where you can get help if necessary. Good luck.

Answer 3

Hey..

1. No, you are not suicidal. We all get weird (read: dark) thoughts in our minds, which we never ever intend to act upon. It is normal to get irrational thoughts.

2. When i get thoughts which r irrational - I do either of the following:
a) keep quite, close my eyes n 'watch' my thoughts. Just dont involve urself in thinking, but simply watch them... they will disappear in a while n u'l feel better
b) i immediately get involved in some activity.. like hit the gym / start painting / call a friend n just catch up.. it distracts my mind n im over that thought fr that time... if u keep distracting ur mind, sooner or later it gets used to not going in that direction.. so these thoughts will automatically reduce coming..

And if things r not helping n ur constantly thinking of suicide, pls take a friend / ur parents in confidence and / or consult a doc.. its ok... nothing to feel silly about.

Take care..
:)

Answer 4

Friend, the human mind is never always rational. You are not alone on that plane. As far as thoughts of suicide I don't know if everyone has them but a lot of people do. I don't think it is the answer. If you kill yourself it will cause equal or greater anxiety for the ones who love you and if they follow in your footsteps they'll join you in death.

The human mind is a slippery slope and once a thought is brought in it is reiterrated and over-exagerated. Find something to keep it from your mind like a quick psycological exercise or perhaps your personal faith, mine is Christianity and it's saved me from the grasp of death many a time.

Answer 5

I wonder it's because you have too much idle time on your hand. A whole saturday night to think about being suicidal? I wonder if you do your own laundry. No offense. If you have some money, go to see a shrink; if not or your insurance doesn't pay, find a hobby or a gf/bf, so you will always have something more important to worry.

Answer 6

you could be, but you could also just be curious about it, if you feel like actually doing it try talking to someone even getting out the small things that bother you can help, also i have found that certain things that you eat can make you feel that way, so maybe change your diet a bit, or a bit of your lifestyle but dont worry about it so much, it will only make things worse.
and one last thing it is friday night, not saturday. : )

Answer 7

you're not suicidal..and the fact that you do not want to hurt yourself proves that..maybe you have accustomed your brain to unconsciously linking sadness with suicide,so that every time you feel emotionally down,your brain asks questions of suicide,because suicide is always portrayed as a result of sadness..my advice is that whenever you feel sad and feel urges from your brain to consider suicide,identify the source of that sadness,so your brain will come up with other reasons as to why you are sad and will not conclude to suicide easily..

Answer 8

I just want a bottle of wine to get over a lousy week, man, and maybe a nice tray of cheese and cracker and a magical solution for losing weight.

Answer 9

i thought i was the only one who thought like this but wow u do too!! im gonna keep looking on here to see the answers you get so i can get help too...hope u get over this

Answer 10

Do you want to die? Do you want to harm yourself or end your life? If so, you're suicidal. If not, then no, you're not suicidal.