i am a guy. my buddy is a girl, whom i think might be a lesbian. if she is, i believe it would mean a lot for her to be accepted for who she is. of course, that means that she has to trust me enough to tell me in the first place. now, how would i generate this trust without putting any stress on her or intimating that she is or is not a lesbian?
2007-06-08 16:37:35 · 12 answers · asked by jj 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If it comes up in conversation, or you can gear it towards it, just make a comment that shows you're not homophobic. If you should happen to be talking about an openly LGBT artist, or a documentary on TV, etc. - use that as a means to show where you stand on the subject. Once she knows you alright with LGBT folk, that will make it all that more comfortable for her to come out to you when she is ready herself. I know for myself, I needed the time to think clearly about who I am before I came out to anyone. Just needed time to reflect without any interruptions or be skewed by others opinions. had nothing to do with whether a person was alright with LBGT, but had to with me coming to grips with who I really was.
2007-06-08 16:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by Hadley N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello -
OK, so you say that it would mean a lot to her to be accepted, right? So just accept her. She's your friend and as your friend treat her like you would any of your other friends.
You generate trust by being there for her when she needs you, keeping your ends of deals or plans. All the same ways you would trying to get anyone to trust you.
The best way to get her to open up is to be her friend. Lesbians aren't of a different species - they are just like everyone else when it comes to friends. And if she comes out to you, then continue to be her friend.
BTW - It's always nice to see an ally. There can never be too many.
If you want information on how to be an ally go to PFLAG.org
they can even help you become a more involved ally.
Good Luck!
Kellie
2007-06-09 02:21:45 · answer #2 · answered by collegewitchnj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answerer: treat your friend like a friend. She'll bring her sexuality up if/when she's ready. Want to give her signals that it's OK to discuss? Actions speak louder than words. Turn out for a gay pride parade. Get a lapel pin or bumper sticker that says "Don't assume I'm straight." But just do it, don't make a big deal out of it. She'll get the hint.
2007-06-08 23:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by edthespartan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you just want her to knwo that you don't think it is WRONG for her to be a lesbian if she happens to be, I suggest you do somethign simple like get a "straight but not narrow" pin ( http://www.pflag.org/Affiliate_Merchandise.201.0.html only $2) or picking up a bumper sticker that is for gay amrriage or soemthing. Any casual public statement, maybe even you jsut working into conversation somewhere that you see nothing wrong with homosexuality, will make her trust you more.
I think that beyond tha,t if you want ehr to come out to you, you'll have to get to know her more deeply. Try confiding in her about soemthign, that will make her want to open up to you.
2007-06-09 00:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by risks_(with a pessimist) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just be the best possible friend. When She is Ready, She will tell you. These days it's so much more accepted, thank goodness.
2007-06-08 23:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just treat her like a person. You don't have to bring it up. If she wants to say something, then wait until she's ready. Otherwise, don't change a thing. She probably loves that you don't question her or judge her.
2007-06-08 23:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Xty♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Treat her like you normally would if she liked males. She is still the same person that you knew before your discovery. She likes girls. So what? Does she treat you differently because of your sexual preference?
2007-06-09 00:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by llamallord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to go out of your way. Just when she is ready...just tell her it really doesn't bother you at all. Just let her know that and you'll be fine. You don't have to dance and hold up signs lol.
2007-06-08 23:43:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. Be open. Be an example of someone who supports gay people. Be straight but not narrow :-)
2007-06-08 23:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by FTM D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. She'll know if you are open or not. If you "try" you are going to look stupid. Just be a friend to her.
2007-06-08 23:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋