OMG, He's going to kill me?! OMG!?

Question

I have a shopping problem and i have RESCENTLY come to that conclusion because I've spent my fiance's down payment for our house, my taxes, our rainy day money, the money he sent to purchase a new car and i've emptied out MY account... Since he has been away on assignment I need some type of comfort besides my family so i found myself at bloomingdales or on Melrose too often and in four months I have managed to spend... well i am not going to even go there, I cry thinking about it... he might not understand this when i tell him. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

How in the hell am i going to earn well into five figures in a few months! I have a cool job but I am a student paying my way through school and he helps with that because i can not stay out of the Mall! ~sobbing~

I don't even know how the hell I spent so much money without realizing it.

Answer 1

return your purchases! your a dead girl your right he's going to kill you.he sure the hell isn't going to understand that you spent close to five figures worth of cash and cryig isn't going to help you at all! suck it up or kiss your a** good bye!

Answer 2

Start counseling this minute. Like yesterday (oh, if only that were possible). Try to salvage this situation by getting out of your fiance's life now - you are dangerous to be around - and tell him you'll be in touch when you have your head on straight someday. In the meantime, he may not kill you but you will watch him leave you. It may feel just as bad.
Your needing some kind of comfort is not a reason to spend someone else's money. He couldn't save you from yourself even if he wanted to and even if he tried.
You better believe he is not going to understand this. What you are going to do is suffer some tremendous humiliation and the addictive personality that you have is going to try to con this guy out of even more money and more support. Because, let's face it, you can't afford the life style you indulge in and you need another person to give you the money for that.
He's justified when he says he's leaving you - and he will say that. You have a reply: 'I understand. If we can get together after I have understood why I ruined our future (financially and emotionally, it was a betrayal), I want to start a healthy life with you. I hope you still will be willing to try again.'
Then get going on unraveling your motivations (no, 'I need comfort' is not a motivation, It's an excuse.) Take the time to get your life in order, manage your money by learning how to do that, reduce your material expectations and basically catch up with all the growing up that people have been doing around you.
You have caused as much pain as someone who gambles away the rent check and the grocery money - thank the Lord right now that you don't have children.

Answer 3

Well, I think you'd better work some overtime and save as much as you can before he comes home. It wouldn't have been so bad if you had spent some of it, but to spend the money saved for your house & taxes is pretty bad. It sounds like you need to really get a grip on your spending and realize there are more important things than having new clothes or shopping because you are bored or lonely. Just don't expect to have a home anytime soon. I hope what you bought was worth it.

Answer 4

You need t get a grip. Material things is nothing. You are not use to having things and you went over into crazy. You might as well tell him, so he can decide whether he wants to be with a person like you. I also find it hard to believe that he doesn't already know or you are over exaggerating what you've spent. anyway, life is hard enough without having someone else to bring you down. At the rate you are spending money, he'll never have anything if he married you. Get help FAST.

Answer 5

Can the items that you purchased be returned. If so, I advise that you do this immediately and try to get as much of the money back as you possible can. Do you have other items that you could sell on Ebay to get the money back. Have a yard sale, get a temporary part time job to repay the money. I also suggest that you stay as far away from any store as you possibly can. Do you have any family you should tell them what has happened so that they can help with moral support. Your fiance may be more understanding if he sees you putting out the effort to correct what you did wrong.

Answer 6

You must be insane. Do you have any concept how long it takes, and what it takes, to save up a down payment for a home?? I hope he divorces your lazy butt. He deserves better than you. And stop with the 'sob, sob' garbage; nobody's buying it. We have no sympathy for you.

Take back all the crap you bought. All of it! At least TRY to get some of that money back. Then sell what you can't return. You won't ever get all the money back, but you at least have to make the effort instead of whining and expecting someone else to bail you out. What spoiled-rotten excuses you make. Comfort?! From WHAT? You don't work full-time, you don't even work a normal 8-hour a day job, let alone the 12-16 hours most of the people I work with have to put in. You don't have kids to take care of either, or aging sickly parents to care for. You're a spoiled child.

You won’t be spending time or anything else in the mall if you get a full-time job and now that’s what you’re going to have to do. Your school days are over for now and so is the “cool” job. You have to go to work at a REAL full-time job and earn it all back. Then once you have done so (and yes it will take you YEARS), can you begin to think about finishing your schooling and having a career. But you owe this to him, whether you are married to him or not. You stole it!

I don't for a minute believe you have any character at all to keep any promise you make, so be sure to have it in writing that YOU, and ONLY you, are liable to pay back this money. Don't start thinking you can get him to shoulder this burden! Maybe, just maybe, if you give him a written legal document that he can use to take into court to attach your wages, whether you are married or divorced, it will assure him enough that you are truly serious about paying it all back. And if you have any decency at all, you WILL pay him back even if it takes your lifetime to do it and even if he divorces you and you never see him again. It's the right thing to do and you owe him big-time.

Answer 7

1. Take back and/or sell what you can to recoup some of the money. (Yes, it feels like crap to have to do that, but it's far less crappier than having your fiance become your ex when he hears what you pulled)
2. Get a job and pay back as much as you can while you can. (If you do the "crime", you do the time paying it back)
3. Get counseling and some medication. Clearly, spending that much money all at once is a serious mental health problem that will likely result in losing your fiance. But if you show that you are getting help for your problem, there's a chance he may reconsider.

Also, get credit counseling and see what they can help you with.

Answer 8

Some how I am wondering if the situation is actually real or if you just by impulse wanted to see what type of response you get. If you are telling the truth and you are asking for the truth.....
bend over and kiss your a** goodbye, and so deservingly for such recklessness.

Don't mean to be rude here, but if you can't exorcise control because you need to be occupied, how can you prove you can be trusted again. You are suppose to an adult, display your maturity by showing appreciation and respect for others hard work and hopefully you will get help!

Put your self in their shoes and wonder how you would feel if it were them doing that to you. Shame on you honey. Crying does not get it for me, actions speak louder than words. A shopping spree ... was it worth your future????

Answer 9

There is no comforting for what you have done what in the world were you thinking when you spent all the money you all had saved up for a life together. You might as well face it you are in alot of trouble and unless you can take that stuff back and get the money back you are basically done. You will lose his trust respect --- you might have a lot of nice things but you have lost the most important thing him.

Answer 10

He might not understand? What person in their right mind would? You have betrayed him and undermined his future for stuff!!! To comfort you!!! He might not understand... Why should he?

I would kick your a$$ to the curb!!! I don't feel sorry for you one bit. This guy has the RIGHT to a spouse he can DEPEND (do you know what that word means) on!!!

I would go to a lawyer and have him write up a binding contract in which you repay the money you STOLE from your fiance and give him back the ring and tell him that the wedding is off until you A. Pay your debt, and B. Become a respectable person, not a child!

Answer 11

What you do missy is return all of the stuff you bought! Whatever you have thats returnable must be returned! It is not that serious to shop at those high price as stores. You are really out of control. You are shopping because there is a deeper problem there and that is your way of comforting yourself.

Find the answers within yourself and stop it before you wind up in jail or getting sued.