what is like to be cheated on? what do the cheaters and the cheated feel when it all comes out?

Question

both sides feel free to answer!
Did you work things out?

Answer 1

I'm not proud to admit it, but i did cheat on my g/f and believe me i never knew i could cause so much pain and suffering to a loving caring person!!

Answer 2

I just found out this week that I was being cheated on - it wasn't an extremely serious relationship, but I still feel like crap. Mostly I hate feeling stupid - like I should have figured it out earlier or realized that he'd be that much of a jerk, ya know?
I also know that I could never give someone who cheated a second chance - once someone has lost my trust, it's pretty much impossible to get back.

Answer 3

It's devastating if to the one that got it done to- and it depends on whether the person that done the cheating has a conscience or not. I would say they feel bad. It's hard to trust again. I have had it done to me- It hurts alot. and like a dummy I done it back to the person and trust me two wrongs dont make a right. tried to work things out, but it didn't work. You lose respect for yourself and they lose respect and trust for you. If you have a strong enough love and can let by gones be by gones then yeah you may be able to work it out. It's all in how strongly you feel and how hard you both work on it and how bad you want to make it work.

Answer 4

I felt alone. I felt like it was the end of the world. I had only been married a month when I found out that my (ex) husband was cheating on me, with my best friends 15 year old sister in law. The worst thing was that I was in the next room. I felt like it was my fault. I don't know why I felt that way. Now I know it wasn't. Four months later, it happened again... except for this time it was somebody different. His 16 year old aunt. But apparently, he liked doing it in the next room. I trusted her because they were family. I never would have thought anything would have happened between him and her. I developed a self esteem problem, and had a lot of hatred in me because of it. It took me 6 years of going through this same treatment over and over again to realize that I didn't deserve it. Now, even though I trust my current husband with everything in me... I still have problems with it. I don't think he would ever treat me the way my first husband did... but when I'm down and depressed, I wonder. I wish that my first husband had never put that doubt in me because my current husband is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've had to overcome alot to be with him. When someone cheats on you, it scars you for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

It sucks, on both accounts. You feel so insecure, like you are a fool, a loser, and worthless when you are cheated on. When you are the cheater, you feel awful, your conscience rags on you 24-7, and you begin to hate yourself for what your doing. It is not worth it. I think if you are going to cheat, end your current relationship. It's not worth everyone's heart being broken in the process.

Answer 6

My hubby just got back from Afghanistan and when he returned to NY (I am in AL) I never checked up on him and one day I logged into his Yahoo account and found out that he had been trying to get laid by 7 women!! Oh I was so mad! I called him screaming and he cried and said he was sorry so I gave him another chance. I started keeping tabs on him and found out AGAIN that he was talking to his ex and telling her that he loved her!! So again he cried and begged my forgiveness and I took him back but it's only til someone better comes along. I don't trust him for crap and know I can do better. I don't forsee it working out and I have told him that. It hurt me bad at first but if he did it again, my feelings would not be hurt. I just don't care what he does now. I don't check up on him either. He isn't getting anything from me anyhow. I just keep him around cause he was a good friend and we did get along before he lied and cheated. We were actually best friends before we dated then married.

Answer 7

the cheated feel torn on two and left with no confidence, blaming yourself.
torn in deciding wat to do if you love them and cant stop asking yourself why. the cheaters should feel guilty and ashamed but wouldnt know from experience.maybe they feel good too because of the sly naughty evil thing they just did, like a little child hiding the car keys, secrets are exciting to them.
Didnt work things out in the end. took him back and he then just did it over and over again,I suppose because in a way I had said it was ok because I took him back and forgave him.
A leopard nevers changes its spots.Only good thing learnt from being cheated on, able to read the signs better next time and get out fast.

Answer 8

Being cheated on is the worst experience i have ever know,next to my divorce that followed it. You never look at that person the same again.You feel like your space has been violated and the rage i had was overwelming,the shock rocks your world.I am a very mellow guy,but if i had caught her with him,i might be in prison right now.

Answer 9

I have been the mistress twice. Not something I brag about but I don't lie about it either when asked about it. The first occasion he went back to his wife, I was crushed. They hated one another before I even met him. My heart was so broken. I felt used. I felt like I was made a fool of, of course my reputation was now ruined, everyone would now look at me as the one who had an affair with so and so. He told me he loved me, he was afraid he was falling in love with me and that scared him. He also said he really loved his wife they just had a lot of problems and never really had a fighting chance. But now suddenly she was willing to change everything and try. I think I really loved him. He really hurt me and I had a very hard time getting over him. Not just because we were intimate but because we were best friends.

The second time I was the mistress was similar, they were having problems and he wanted a friend to talk to. I happen to be that kind of person and I thought in all honesty that was what he wanted. One lunch led to another and soon enough it was more than lunch. We were never intimate in any way untill he left her though, not that that makes it better. But we kept it just friends until he moved out. Of course we counldn't deny their was a mental relationship, we both cared about one another more than friends typically do. Of course when his wife found out about my existance she was convinced that we'd been screwing for months, there was no reasoning with her. She was very mean, vendictive and controlling with his children. She humiliated both of us to the best of her ability, calling all our family members, places of employment and co workers to inform them of our "behavior." It was awful. We stayed together and we have been married 7 years now. His children are 13 and 9 and we have a 3 year old of our own. His children hate me and treat our daughter very mean. It is so sad. I know their mom feeds them lines and tells them things. She had every right to be angry and bitter but its been a long time now, she needs t o get over it and quit using these kids!

Answer 10

i was the cheater! twice both different feelings, the first was exciting, a thrill, i felt good about my self, i think affairs happen when a relationship is lacking in something, the first was just sex, i felt guilt, but he made me feel good, attractive, young, the second one wow! the sex was great, but it went passed that and we loved being together sex or no sex, we talked, we went out and had fun, we started too miss each other when we couldn,t be together, we had £300 a month phone bills! he made me feel beautiful inside and out, i felt no guilt about my hubby sadly, we were meant too be, so i made the hardest decision ever ( for my children) and left my hubby and ive been living with my boyfriend for a year now and its right and the children have settled and are happy too, they still have their dad whenever they want him, just cause i didnt want him they do, thats who i felt for when it came out, but its ok now and been worth it