Should I get PREGNANT TO KEEP MY FIANCE? I"M SCared i might lose him!!!?

Question

READ TO ANSWER:I don't know what to do.I ve been with him for 2yrs.His mom & sisters don't think i fit into their high society lifestyle.He's their only Son.6 months ago at his grandmom'sB/Day his mom introduced him to a white girl.Since then she is at every function we go to & never says a word to me.Her face lights up when she sees my man.Once before the tention she asked him to dance.I was standing near his mom & heard her say"they would make the cutest white babies".WHY? knowing i was next to her?2 months later she started showing up at his house just to say"HI" to him.She became a threat to me & i talked to him about it.He said,he would avoid her but his mom kept on bringing her so i moved out of his house.I told him i would only moved back if he married me.2 weeks later he proposed to me.So i moved back in but I feel like it's a SHUT UP ring.I found out that she said"she will make sure the wedding never happens".
I'm Indian(from india)28 and his 30.this girl is so subborn.

Now I’m thinking of getting pregnant before our wedding.I know it’s stupid & wrong but I’m getting scared.She is still a threat to me(I hate to admit this, she is very pretty).I know I’m beautiful but it takes more than beauty to keep someone & I don’t know what she can offer him behind closed doors.I’m not questioning my ability to satisfy him in BED,I’m talking about the unknown.I love him.I’m scared I might lose him to this girl that will stop at nothing.I’m so scared of losing the BEST lover I ve ever had.I know it’s not easy to find a man that is blessed in the right areas(if you know what I’m talking about), understands a woman body & respects a woman the way he does. I ve not seen or heard anything that he has done with her but I KNOW how girls are when they want a man.I told him I was getting off the BIRTH CONTROL & he said”if that’s what you want”.One night in bed he asked if I was off Birth control, I said yes & he got off of me,though the next morning we made love.Am i wrong

My friends say i should get pregnant.WHAT DO YOU THINK.

ANY i'm still on BIRTH CONTROL but he doesn't know that because i just wanted to see what he would do. He still thinks i'm off the pills and he continues to C*um in me.
I'm about to lose my head because this girl just send him flowers last week but he threw them away. he called her and told her not to contact him any more but who knows.

Answer 1

Oh, certainly. Creating a human life is always an acceptable method of exerting influence on someone else.

Answer 2

Oh my god that is so messed up. I'm so sorry for that ***** ruining your life like that. I don't think that having a baby will resolve your situation, I know that you are tempted and believe that a baby is the only way to fix this. Don't get pregnant to save your marriage. Your friends are wrong to tell you to do that in the first place. I know they care for you because most people believe that a baby will strengthen the marriage. I don't think your m,man will do anything to hurt you. It seems to me that he has tried everything to avoid her and he clearly isn't interested in the other girl. And for his mother all I can say is that she has no respect for you and that's not right. Don't feel guilty for anything, none of this is your fault. I do think your man loves you. Tell him your concerns and thoughts. That stupid ***** should back off, the nerve. There is no way that hoe is gonna get her hands on your man, don't worry about it, if it does happen know that it was her fault and not you man's. Maybe you should think of starting fresh, of moving away from the other girl. You won't lose him don't worry. It seems like your mans mum started this whole thing in the first place and that she did this on purpose. I'm really sorry that there's nothin I can do to help. I hope you get through this. Good Luck. xoxo

Answer 3

ETA: wow, mommy4two - just goes to show that you really can't trust anyone online. Luckily, I usually don't invest time in making long, thoughtful answers or read the type of questions that require them unless I'm bored (which I am now!). Well, if the poster is genuine in this case (though she's/he's? probably just a straight-up con):

Why are women so freakin desperate to hang onto men? I don't have one, and I couldn't be happier. If he's going to leave you, he'll leave, baby or no baby. And if he does stay, it sounds like his family will drive you insane. Is he really worth it? The world is suffering an overpopulation problem as it is, and you're thinking of bringing a baby in just to save your relationship (you're not even married yet!!). Move on. It sounds like he very well could be into this other woman, and even if he doesn't like her, may very well get with her just to please mom. He's the Golden Penis of the family, sounds like.

Answer 4

This is the thing. Every single one of us is unique in very many ways. Your fiancee needs to love you enough to stay with you. Marrige is NO GUARANTEE that you will keep a man. CHILDREN ARE NO GUARANTEE that you will keep a man! So getting pregnant right now is no solution...

Say for instance that you get pregnant and he marries you. If he married you for the child... HE WILL LEAVE LATER! And you will be even more hurt because you will have to raise a child on your own. Believe me! that is not an easy task. Or.. he will try to take him away from you, which will be even more painful!

If even though there is this woman (who seems to me annoys him quite a bit)... he marries you... then he is yours! Well not literally... just that he is in the marrige for you. Because he loves you and appreciates you for what you are. If you get pregnant, you will never know this. If he marries you because of your child... I assure you he will resent you for many years to come!

What an aweful marriage when he is there but doesn't love you! Sooner or later he will leave anyways.

Pregnancy is not a solution. Prayer is!

Answer 5

No. Do not bring a child into the world for the sole purpose of manipulating the people around you. You have the ring, you have the man. Just try and relax. You want him to be with you because he wants to, not because he has to. You are going to face many more obstacles once you are married and getting pregnant won't solve any of those either. Besides, I am sure it will only make his mother like you less. Just trust that he will continue to make the right choices. This other girl sounds desperate, which is always a turn off.

Answer 6

Keep having unprotected sex and you just might get pregnant Birth control pills are NOT 100% effective. And what guarantee do you have that he WILL marry you when you get pregnant? It will be quite evident that you decieved him and "trapped" him into marrying you. A marriage built on deceit is doomed to failure so there you will pregnant MAYBE married maybe not if so probably with a husband who despises you because you deceived him, who will more than likely start looking for a woman he CAN trust because he no longer has trust in YOU and probably head right for the arms of the other woman who is such a "threat" to you. It's not HER who is the threat to your relationship with this man, it is YOURSELF.

Answer 7

If this guy is truly as good as you say he is, you don't have to worry because he won't cheat on you. If you are insecure about it, maybe he is showing signs of liking that girl? As for having a baby just to keep him... WRONG IDEA! That is SO unfair to a baby. A baby should only be brought into this world because it is wanted, not to save a relationship! And you might wanna rethink this marriage thing because it sounds like you would be getting the mother in law from hell! Is this guy worth putting up with that old hag forever?! If so, I'd set her straight from the get-go! I would tell her that you don't appreciate her trying to fix up your man! Talk to her about it and tell her that you love her son and you would do anything for him. If she really loves her son, she'll accept you because she wants what is best for her son! Good luck, but I still think that is asking for a lifetime of turmoil!!! Think about LONG & HARD!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Look don't go and get pregnant just because you want to try to keep your man, because there no guarantee that he he will stay just because your pregnant, what I mean is if thus girl is getting his attention right now what's going to stop her from getting his attention later? It really comes down to your guy and you should tell him how you feel and how having her around makes you feel, because you know that she has the wrong intents. The other reason it's not a good idea to just get pregnant is because you don't want to regret your child if you get pregnant, and a baby truly changes everything including your relationship with your man, you won't have any time for your relationship when you have a baby, because all your focus goes to baby, right now you need to focus on you and your man and your relationship.
My advice is that your man see's that this girl is bad news and he's trying to show you that even though this girl is coming on to him he wants nothing to do with her and that he chooses you not her so, just try to trust him and focus on your relationship with each other and what your future is going to be with one another.

Answer 9

1. The situation is complicated enough without you adding a baby in the mix.
2. His family obviously doesn't like you. It is not wise to marry into such a family.
3. Does he know what is going on and how you feel about it? Has he done anything to stand up for you? Maybe he doesn't care one way or another.

You certainly seem to be in over your head. I wouldn't stay in that situation any longer. How many reasons do you need to leave before you do? Do you think they will love you more when you are pregnant.

Forget the man and his yacky family!

Answer 10

Wow. How on earth would you feel to know how was only marrying you b/c it was the "right thing to do" and he didnt even truly love you? Do you really think that would make you feel better?

It sucks that his family is like that.. but if he truly acts faithful to you.. this may be your issue.. not his. Sounds like you have some self-esteem/trust issues.

I suggest you get some counseling and NOT bring a child into this sitution- that would be so selfish!

Truly evaluate if this man really loves you and only marry him for the right reasons.

Answer 11

NOOOOOOOOOO, that is the worst reason to get pregnant and it rarely works. You want a man to stay for YOU and have children WITH you. Children are not weapons or negotiation tools.

It sounds like this guy is choosing you so you have to trust. The keys to a relationship are communication, forgiveness and trust. Forget his parents. My father-in-law offerend my fiance cash to leave me. Once they realized I was their son's choice they had to come around and slowly they realized I wasn't a bad person (gold digger).

I hope he doesn't leave but it's way better he leaves before you're married than after. I think he'll stay, just trust him and give him space. I had lots of people trying to break me and my husband up but were perservered and everything worked out fine.