I am so happy that i have you here
But ever since my heart has been bleeding
This state i can no longer adhere
All i have to offer is pathetic pleading
Just turn your head and look at me in another way
I wish you would take a chance
It is so hard seeing you every day
Knowing that You and I will never have romance
2007-06-08 14:04:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Try this...
That you're here with me, my heart bleeds
In this state, I can only plead
Turn your head, but don't look away
See me anew, differently, please...as I see you
So hard to see you every day
knowing romance for you and I...
will never hold sway
2007-06-08 14:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi i se no problem in giving someone a poem to read .i'm a big fan of poems i think is the best way to express u feeling for that special someone so go ahead and u not a chicken okkkkkkk.
2007-06-08 21:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by toya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is pretty good, but you need a different word
choice insted of no longer adhere, try no longer bear.
Keep on writing, ok? Good luck.
2007-06-08 21:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it sounded like The Cure, who writes the best love songs ever, except for your last sentance.
2007-06-08 21:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by flesh_of_daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a very nice poem. Good job.
2007-06-08 21:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it, but why do you think that there will never be any romance? have faith in yourself...good job on the poem
2007-06-08 21:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kind of depressing.....i think that it was alright
but i would reread ur work and change a few words
i think that ur current poem might scare her a bit
2007-06-08 21:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by miss clueless bout Life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not the best one but very sweet. if a guy would wrote something like that to me i would give him one of my big russian kisses
2007-06-08 21:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, it's not good. In fact it's lousy. It's really depressing.
2007-06-08 21:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wasn't thrilled w/the last line
2007-06-08 21:07:14 · answer #10 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋