Best thing for keeping a strong marriage?

Question

I was wondering, from a married couple's perspective...

What is the most important thing you can do in your marriage to keep a strong relationship?

What is the most important thing for keeping your relationship alive after so much time together?

Also, what is a relationship killer in marriage, other than obvious things such as cheating?
Thanks♥

Answer 1

My dear departed wife had an excellent view on marriage. She said that the way to have a successful marriage was to give 80% and expect only 20% in return. Her theory was that if a person had a expectation of 20% then anything more would be wonderful. In addition, giving 80% to the marriage would mean that the relationship would be wonderful for the partner. Whoever said that marriage is 50/50 is a fool. It will be sometimes, but other times it will be 90/10 or 10/90. Get over it.

I thought about what she said and we each put it to practice. We were amazingly happy together for 20 years until cancer took her away from me.

Quick way to kill a marriage? Take the other person for granted. Just assume that they will always be there and neglect their role in the mariage. Divorce will follow.

One guys opinion.

Answer 2

The most important thing in a marriage is communication! I am divorced and that is what led to it....lack of communication. There are three keys to a great marriage: Communication, compromise, commitment! Believe me! I know. If you are truly committed to your spouse resolve all issues within a few days. If that does not take place set up a compromise that will alleviate the issue. Notice I did not say fix. With that being said, you have to communicate with your spouse....don't hide anything. When you hide something from your partner you make them feel hurt and abandoned. Afterall this is your best friend and soulmate. And don't forget to treat yourself to nice things on occasion. People always say take care of the spouse and kids...but if there was no YOU then how would that take place? It is ok to put you first sometimes. Don't forget that and don't let anyone tell you differently. Those are the keys my grandparents gave me...and they been married over 60 years. It did not work for me because I failed to listen.

Answer 3

We have Love; Respect; Honesty; Communication; Support; and that is what is needed to build a rock solid foundation in our marriage that no one or nothing can break. You said one thing but actually a marriage needs more than that to keep from falling in the hands of a divorced society, and it works as we have been with each other for 22yrs and having the above given from the both of us to each other our marriage will continue to be strong.

Answer 4

Honesty. I have been married for 9 years and I would have to say that's number one. As long as you are honest with each other, you can pretty much make it through anything. When I say this I am talking about always being honest about the way you feel. My husband and I probably sit down at least once Every month to discuss if there is anything that has upset or disappointed us. Is there something we can change to improve our marriage. Being open and honest is the key. It took me a long time to figure that out, but once I did its been great ever since.

Answer 5

Don't be selfish, it's not about you

Put your spouse before yourself

Commit to marriage, not your spouse because people change, the vows of marriage should never change, regardless of the situation.

communicate

Killer: Always thinking about and acting on what YOU want. It's not about YOU when you're married, and especially when you have kids. Remember that there will be a time when it will be about YOU, and your spouse. Things don't stay the same forever, kids grow up and leave the nest, jobs end, priorities change. That's the time that marriage blossoms.

Answer 6

I absolutely love Randys answer... I hope he gets "best answer".

I've only been with my current husband for 2 years now. I had an 18 month old daughter and was 6 weeks pregnant when him and I got together. However, they know him as daddy. That being said... we make sure that we take "me time". The kids don't ALWAYS have to be there. Sometimes we get a sitter just to sit at home and enjoy ourselves alone. Communication, honesty, and loyalty are the main key to our relationship. Other times, we take the kids and have a day with them. We thrive on being good parents to our children (also one on the way) and we thrive on being a good spouse to each other. We have been married for 10 months and they have been the best 10 months of my life.

A relationship killer is lack of communication and honesty. Losing sight of what is important.

Answer 7

Honesty and open conversations are the most important things in a marriage. You can keep a relationship alive by being as fun and creative as you can. Children can change that of course meaning you have to be even more fun and creative if you want to escape once in a while for a date night. Deal breakers other than cheating.......drugs and alcohol abuse, and physical and mental abuse. This isn't brain surgery....it's pretty obvious.

Answer 8

We've been happily married 36 years, and I guarantee you, some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:

1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.

2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.

3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.

4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.

Answer 9

If you want a strong marriage, work your own stuff ("issues"), don't try to change your spouse and be willing to admit your short comings.

Marriage is like a window to all your personal crap and if you are not willing to work on your own issues then this will certainly create a difficult marriage if not end it.

Other than that, enjoy each other for who they are, they will never be perfect.

Good luck.

Answer 10

nothing, and i mean nothing comes before the marriage. it's not about you, it's not about him, the parents, kids etc. there's many problems that will happen in a marriage, but it's normal. both of you are growing and you will change. my grand father, who is 97 told me that one of you must be sane at any given time, and trust me people get crazy at times. oh, and respect each others interests. give each other space. it took my wife and i 20 years to learn this.