Can a person change?

Question

Can someone who has been abusive change? do anger management classes work? now when i say abousive i dont mean beating the crap out of me, im talking losing his temper 3 times to be exact. once twisting my wrist out of anger, once throwing me accrossed a room and the 3rd was him choking me for long enough for me to be scared, then proceeding to leave after it happens... can a person REALLY change and not do it anymore? This is all over a 2 year period.

Answer 1

I can tell you from experience they can change only if they want to. You can not make them change and its an extremly hard thing to do. I do think you need to remove yourself from the situation until he is willing to do what he needs to in order to help himself. I love my husband dearly but was ready to walk away with my son if he didn't change. He goes to counseling takes medication and we work hard at it every day. I was not sure he could change but he has proven he wanted to and works on it all the time. Please be careful and run if you see he truly does not want to get help.

Answer 2

well let me tell you this.... when i was young and drinking alot and playing head games with alot of women.. .i used to get mean and hit women. they also hit on me i went to jail for domestic more than once... plain and simple i used to be a real piece of work..... but as i got older much older i had something happen to me???... i dont know what it was but when i see it today i get really upset!!!! and want to pound the men that are doing it to these women!! .. it just reminds me of how i used to be! i dont drink that much anymore because when i do i get mean.. and its really scary... does it ever completly go away???? i would say no.. you just after time know how to controll it... i dont know him or you for that matter , but if i could give you any advice ,... get away from it untill you know he really has a grip on it ... anger management??? for some people it works?, but i would say no it doesnt.... its a part of that person , and always will be. i wish you find happiness.. love and all you desire in life, its really hard i know... i hope in some little way i helped you ....god bless you, and your man.

Answer 3

I don't think any man who behaves in this way can really change...he may be taught how to control his anger to a degree but it wont stop him feeling it. So I would leave as the choking thing is really worrying ...value yourself a little!

Answer 4

i think you are in denial
if you don't consider all the stuff you listed
as abuse.
no a person does not change
even with anger mgmt classes.
he may learn other ways to cope with his anger
but the question is if he would apply them to his life.
i know you want to hear
that a person can change.
i hate to break your bubble
it is not true.
the only time a person change is
when s/he does work on themselves
of their own will.
sorry baby girl.
it is time to move on.

Answer 5

If he has already put his hands on you 3 times and caused you to get scarred, it will only get worse. Get out now before the next time. No one has the right or reason to put their hands on anyone else. Abuse is abuse. Physical or mental.

Answer 6

2 years? no it wont change you are only at the begining if he starts he wont stop because you let him do it right now he is testing if you dont react or do something it will get worse. If you stay after --- worse.

Answer 7

3 times he abused you, Doesn't that give you some Idea that maybe you need to stay away from him.?? Even if he did by chance change, would you trust him? feel safe ? I doubt it.

Answer 8

I don't think so. Men that are abusive do NOT change they swear up and down and fake cry and say they'll change but they don't.

Answer 9

I really don't think so. A person can change but in this case I would say No.

Answer 10

Women marry men hoping they will change and they don't; men marry women hoping they will stay the same, and they don't.

Men don't change, especially not abusive ones.