I'll start from primary school. I came into the london when I was about 10 or less. Basically I was a free spirit - I hardly knew any english but I made tons of friends (who I don't think i can call friends since they were actually making fun of me). Anyways by the time i got to secondary school I was quite fluent. This meant I understood more of the insults and everything. I also knew that I was gay from a young age - so when people around me were using the word 'gay' as way of insulting people - it hurt me even though it wasn't always directed at me. In addition to it - I was made fun of for my colour - I'm quite dark. This hurt the most. I sort of went in a state where I'd become defensive about anything. I easily get angry with people at home right now. The peace of mind that I was in when I younger is completly gone - my confidence is barely alive. I 'm going into university next year and i want to change back to that old care free self. When I knew how to make friends. Any Ideas?
2007-06-08 11:04:12 · 9 answers · asked by Me Y 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
'u wish you had this' - thats exactly what i'm trying to do - make friends and want ideas on how to which is why i'm asking yahoo people silly!
2007-06-08 11:37:43 · update #1
write down everything and anything that disturbed you . Write down all the names you can remember of the people that made fun of you. Express your anger and hurt and try to really get into the feeling of hurt that you have felt. Get it all down on paper.
Then put that paper aside and start a new paper
Write down how you want to be and how you want everything to be. Feel the feeling of how wonderful it is. Really get excited about how great it is as if it were happening right at this moment! something like, "I feel so free and happy now that I am my real self. I dont care what people say and I love being me!!" Go into great detail and length!
Then take the old paper and burn it. Let it go! Tell all those people on the list that you are sorry and you love them and good bye! Forget it!
Now take the happy paper and keep it in your pocket for a week or so.
2007-06-08 11:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by superlativemoon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take you time to rebuild your confidence levels to the point where what anyone says won't matter (you really don't need their permission or validation). I'm sure you feel that every word that is said to you has meaning to the people saying it, this isn't necessarily the case. Think of them as a broken record - do they know any other words or are they maybe just repeating the same racist things over and over, again and again.
No one can do anything about your colour, just learn to be proud of who you are and where you come from. You are British NOW, that means you are lucky enough to have had experience of at least 2 distinct cultures. While it doesn't make you unique - your personal outlook does.
Find something you enjoy doing and excel in it. If it's a sport, a hobby or anything that will get you out meeting other people you can share your interests with, then have a good time. The people who have called you names may never change - that's their limitation - you can develop your own unique path through life and become as successful as you want to be. The name-callers can go to Hell - just don't sink to their level - they are and always will be insignificant in shaping your character.
Be yourself and do the things you like. You'll find that the name callers and their ilk are not going to be as successful as you, if you determine a goal and set out to reach it.
I wish you luck and success
2007-06-08 21:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by cornflake#1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change is an inevitable part of growing up and older. I am 40 now so I know this from experience. A part of me would love to be the person who I was 10....20 years ago. But that will not happen. Just be yourself no matter what. And associate yourself with people like you and who are free thinkiers and open minded. As you get older you will become more comfortable and confident in who and what you are. Understand this as well.....if people made fun of you in your youth becasue of your skin color or sexual preference....that is their issue and problem not yours. As a matter of fact those kids who made fun of you....as they get older will realize how childish they were for saying those things when they were young. And I bet a few of them will probably question their own sexuality as they get older. Be yourself. Choose your freinds wisely. Although your innocence may be gone remember on thing.....what does not kill you will only make you stronger.
2007-06-08 18:14:52 · answer #3 · answered by drisco21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal to do this self-assessment when facing a life transition. You list a series of layers of that have separated you from your peers (language, sexual identity, and skin color) and alway made you conscious of being different.
At the end of high school (sorry, can't remember what you call it there) the kids who are really with it have figured out it is time to move on, and to form social networks based on people you find interesting, not people who will help you gang up on people who are different.
As you select a university, explore whether you want to attend one known for a strong gay social scene or not. On one hand, you are entitled to put some attention into your sexual identity at this time in your life. Believe me, that is what the straight kids are doing! On the other, each of us is a lot more than our sexual preference, and pursuing your academic passion might have greater importance.
2007-06-08 18:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Shel de Muse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think much of these people who make fun of you.
Perhaps at the university, there might be a group for gays and lesbians that you could join.
Some churches and synagagues have gay groups. There has to be some sort of organization you could find out about that has social activities that would interest you. Searching the internet is another idea.
Be yourself
2007-06-08 18:13:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anna Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the scars my never fully go away. Your best bet is probably to make a break from the environment that twisted you, which you will be doing, and starting over. Use this move to university as a chance to start over. A fresh start as the free spirit you are. Good luck.
2007-06-08 18:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good news is that at university you will find yourself being able to mingle with people who for the most part tend to be more open minded and educated. also if you want to make friends the best way is to join some clubs or sports teams. i am sure your school has alot of clubs, especially clubs aimed at th gay community. i would also suggest some counseling at university. you need to handle what you've been through so you are able to welcome healthy relationships into your life.
2007-06-08 18:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by Andrea B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop feeling sorry 4 urself,get off ur @ss and find some friends;)
2007-06-08 18:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
pray for assistance and wisdom
2007-06-08 18:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋