Why do men marry, have kids and leave to another relationship knowing they have kids with that person?

Question

I am my husbands third wife and he has two kids with his first wife and two with his second, I love him but I still don't understand why he keeps leaving the wives and with kids? Is is being selfish or what? He did grow up without a mother, his mother left them when he was eight years old, could that be the reason?

Answer 1

Nope, his mothers death has no bearing on it. He has tried and it has not worked, so he keeps going. Maybe with you it will finally be lasting.

Answer 2

YOU married a guy with 4 kids and two previous marriages. You wonder why he does certain things. You should be questioning why you married him with all the complications. The fact is here that the chances are actually high that your marriage will endure, because 3rd time marriages in the USA have an 85 percent success rate.

Other marriages have a poor success rate, However, he has to be shelling out a tons of dough every month for those kids, and when they turn 18, he is NO IT exempt. Judges are systematically making parents pay for college, so he has to school at a high cost.

As for why he would have left two wives already, only a complete battery of psychological tests could determine that. everything else is speculation.

However, that being said, it seems possible that he either chose past wives based on great sex, or he was so lonely that whoever was willing to marry, he went for, or else, he was delusional, thinking subconsciously that he needed a sub mother to replace the one who abandoned him. It is quite common, this last explanation.

You too might be in the mother roll....his mother. MY dad was.

Answer 3

It could be that he just wants to have that mother figure in his life that he didn't have while growing up. It could be many things. If I knew that someone has been married 2 times already before me, I wouldn't have married the man because there could have been issues with him with the previous marriages. Those are red flags.

It is too late to ask that question that you don't understand why he keeps leaving the wives and with kids. He made mistakes and now he has to pay the consequences because now, the kids are without a daddy and probably he is paying child support. He made the decisions on his own.

I would consider of getting this book for him called, "Bad Childhood, Good Life." Hope this helps. You are now his wife and you be there for him, just make sure that he has relationships with his children.

Answer 4

That could definitely be a contributing factor. His mother leaving him when he was *8* is bad modeling for how to be a spouse and parent. He probally dosen't know how to problem solve well. When things get too bad he's taken off just like his Mom.

He's probally also got abandoment issues. So instead of someone leaving him he will be the first to leave. He needs to heal that abandoned inner child so he can have a fulfilling relationship with you.

Third times a Charm ;)

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Since he's the only one who really knows, the rest of us are just guessing. So my guess would be that once you have kids
alot of the excitement is gone. Just because the wife has to take care of two kids, cook, clean, wash clothes, maybe have another full time job, that she is exhausted because there is alot of responsibility. Maybe because it's not exciting or fun anymore...it is now responsibility and time consuming and work, that it's just easier to move on to the next one for fun and excitement until she gets a kid or two and then the senario continues. Hope you use birth control!!!

Answer 6

My personal opinion.

Men like that are pigs.

Somewhere along the line they seem to forget their wedding vows, and dont care enough for their kids to understand that they need a father with thim 24/7 notjust every other weekend.

They lose interest in their wives at this time too because she's not the hawt young thang they fell for, she's a mother, and you dont ask your childrens mother for sex.

They need to learn to be in a healthy relationship, and stay in it for themselves, their spouse, and the kids they father.

Answer 7

men think that the dick and where they stick it, is important. they get bored and then blame women for all their failures. your hint should have been at wife number 2. have a chat with both. men don;'t want to take the time to put in effort to make a relationship work. there fore we are called bitches and whores and get blamed. i would secure your assets and hope that 10 years later your not ex number 3. billy bob thornton did the same and left angelina jjolie. men need to be the center of attention, and when there not, they split. just being blunt. sorry.

Answer 8

It all depends on why the first two marriages ended.

It could be that he was too young/immature for the first. The second could have ended due to infidelity (his/hers). The kids complicates matter but probably has nothing to do with the equation.

If this is a big question mark for you, why did you marry him?

Answer 9

particular, it is truthfully achieveable. after which, while he's married to YOU he will maximum probable fall in love with somebody else and go away YOU for HER. men very infrequently replace their habit. So in case you go with to marry a prevalent cheater, don't be shocked while he cheats on you. a minimum of you will comprehend what you're getting. and you have the understanding which you helped destroy up a marriage. You men deserve one yet another. solid success to you.

Answer 10

Really should've discussed this with him before you married.
But honestly, he's searching for something that you nor any of the 2 women & probably strings of girlfriends can provide... Don't be surprise if he leaves you too because if he doesn't understand or are willing to acknowledge that the common theme in each of his broken relationships is not the women's issues--because each woman is differant with her own problems, etc--but HIM, he'll never get his issues resolved regardless of where the issues began/stemmed from.

Answer 11

It could very well have been that BECAUSE his mother was absent in the home, he might not have had any strong female influences in his life and now as an adult finds it very difficult to relate to females in his life BUT, because he was abandone by his mother, he obviously has a strong NEED for female companionship. He may be going from female to female through NO FAULT of the females in his life.... but just because he never LEARNED how to relate to them....