A question about racism?

Question

When I was younger I was bullied by a coloured boy who constant called me names like wigger, white-trash, honkie, all of which I found deeply offensive. One day I turned to him and said "Look, you've been calling me these offensive names long enough. How would you like it if I followed you around calling you a n****r?". Suddenly I was in trouble with the school authorities and everybody thought I was racist!

I have never had any problem with anyone based on their religeon, the colur of their skin, sexual orientation etc..., but because I turned around to this person and asked him a genuine question to show how upset he was making me, suddenly lots of people assumed I did. My problem wasn't anything to do with his skin colour, my problem was with him as a person.

It's all in the past now and we both managed to sort things out, but was I wrong to react the way that I did?

In reply to Rhonda W: It's funny but I was with a group of 'coloured' friends the other day and the subect of wether they preferred the term coloured or black was brought up (not by me I might add). It was unaminously decided by my friends that they preferred the term coloured, so may I suggest YOU get with the programme! Do you really think I would risk posting a question like this without drawing on some research and past knowledge?

In reply to LadeeLuvleeLox: I didn't call him anything. I asked how he would like it if I did call him that. Please read my questions properly before posting a reply.

In reply to Dillinger: Whilst I agree to some of the points you make in your answer, I feel I should clear up that I am from England, not America :)

Since so many people seem to be taking offense to my use of the word "coloured", I feel that I should apologise. Obviously it was not meant as an offensive remark, and I used it based on the views of a microcosm of people's opinions.

Answer 1

I do think that you did the right thing, being a black male myself i would i have to say if i was the one doing that to you and you said to me what you said to him, it would put me in my place and bring me back to reality. However, i would let you know never to use that word and we could find some common ground then resolve this issue. In regards to your use of the word "coloured" just because your friends ok'd this word that does not mean use it in every group of African Americans you meet. That was simply their preference and should not be used to describe the culture as a whole. When you use this word, African Americans are taken back to an uncomfortable place and most will take offense to this word. The term African American is accepted everywhere and when in doubt I would advise you to use it.

Answer 2

I had a similar situation happen to me. The was a gay guy who didn't like me so he would always call me a dyke, i hated it and so day i called him a f****t (i know you didn't call him a ni**er) and like you i was punished. Now that I'm older i realize there were other ways i could of handled it but when you deal whit something for so long you handle it the best way you see fit at the time. You asked a question that he couldn't handle and many others took the wrong way. As a black woman i don't think what you did was wrong, it just wasn't thought out completely and neither was what i did. And for everyone was is trying to make him out to be such a horrible person remember his tormentor was actually the racist.

Answer 3

I understand exactly what you mean. Iwas in your position once. I don't think you were in the wrong at all - you were simply trying to show him that what he was doing was wrong. Did the school punish you? If it did, I would've went to court or something. Because in actual fact it was the other boy that was being racist - calling you white trash. Most people at your school probably didn't realise that the way he was treating you was racist. I think there is a lot of discrimination in society that goes unpunished mainly because it doesn't have a name. What the boy did to you was also morally wrong and racist but when people think racism - most people think 'discrimination against black people' - just a little theory.

Answer 4

No, you were not wrong, and more folks should do exactly the same thing you did. Those who persecuted you for asking him that question were guilty of discrimination and violating your civil rights, and, quite frankly, showed their cowardess by not persecuting him as well. In this day and age, there is an extreme double standard when it comes to the discrimination of white folks versus the discrimination of minorities, and it will not disappear until white people throw back what is dished out to them and loudly demand folks that scream for equality both want and act like they are equal. The boy you are referring to is obviously a sensitive little pansy anyhow, not being able to swallow the same sourness he was feeding you - and by the school authorities babifying him like he was something special they probably created a victim mentality monster that thinks he is more than equal.

My children will not be raised racist, but they will be raised to appreciate who they are, to recognize they are equal and deserve the same treatment as ANYONE, and to stand up when they are victimized by anyone of any race. If what happened to you happened to my child, the result would be extremely embarrasing for both the school and the little pansy.

I'm sure my answer will be seen as racist by many, similar to your non-racist actions being seen as racist....but these same folks would probably say the little pansy was not racist....

ADDITION: To those attacking the questioner for using the word "coloured" I would suggest looking at some of the other words he is using and his spellings and you will see he is probably in England or another English speaking country where different words are used and considered appropriate than in America. What's considered PC in this country is not necessarily appropriate elsewhere. AFRICAN-AMERICAN DOES NOT APPLY TO SOMEONE IN ENGLAND!!!

Answer 5

You're another victim of how the PC pendulum has just swung too far. A white politician got into serious problems for using the term "*********" which means penurious, cheap, penny-pinching and has absolutely nothing to do with ethnic groups. His accusers were none other than the knee-jerk reactionaries of several races and I believe he was ousted from his elected position over this because people are illiterate as well as willing to prolong racial problems. You did well, probably never will become popular with frightened politicians and the school authorities should be studying themselves rather than teaching others how to think narrow thoughts.

Answer 6

I don't think you were wrong to react, I think you could have handled it much better. You should have said, "I find your negative and derrogatory comments about my race to be extremely offensive, and I would like it if you could please treat me with some respect."

Yes, he was being racist towards you, and you had a perfect right to ask him to stop. If you felt uncomfortable with that, you could have had a teacher speak with him about it.

The reason people reacted so violently when you used the N-word is because that is a term white people used to have power against the African-American Slaves in our country. It's definition actually is "ignorant", but the white people perverted it to mean any African-American. It was a word used to degrade, insult, brainwash and oppress African-Americans. Just as the Nazis used the word "kyke" (sp?) towards Jewish people. Of course, the reason why African Americans were--at the time--uneducated, is that the whites wouldn't let them be educated.

I am not saying what he did was right, he was perpetuating hate. The problem was that you stooped down to his level.

The thing about respect is that you have to earn it. You don't get respect by being rude to people, you earn respect by remaining calm and steady in the face of adversity.

I am glad to hear that you and he patched things up.

Please, I'm begging you, stop the use of any slang words to describe someone's race or religion. That includes "colored". These words may be how you were raised to speak, but it is perpetuating the evils of racism. The PC term is "African-American"

Coexist!

Answer 7

I'm not answering the question, just replying to people on the subject of the word 'coloured'

Some caucasian people don't like being called 'white' but we don't kick up a stink about it, it's just an adjective. Can everybody forget the word 'coloured' and get on with answering the question fairly?

Answer 8

Every oppressed group says we want equality but then get pampered and think they can run over everyone just because there ancestors were oppressed. No what you did my friend was so right in so many ways. You showed him how he treated you although harshly you taught him a very valuable lesson. You should sue your school for being prejudice toward you because your white. I'm not racist I want equality for all black Caucasian, Asian, Latino everyone. Oh and I agree with Dudley how was he wrong?

Answer 9

Shut up Rhonda W! No one deserves to picked on in the first place you tree hugger. How the hell was he wrong? To the person asking the actual question, you should maybe have worded it differently is all. Instead of saying what you said, maybe you should have said,"You're only acting this way because I'm white. So what is the problem?" I don't know just a guess. But no one deserves that crap. Rhonda W let us know when you've reached the age of 12 please, and stop watching Sesame Street.

Answer 10

It is down to double standards, I am from England, and this is an example, if a gang of whites beat up 1 black/asian, it is called a racist attack, but if it is a gang of blacks/asians beating up a white man, it is not.
And if a white man make a joke about a black man calling him the 'N' Word, classed as racist, but yet black/asians use the 'N' and 'P' words nothing is said.
It is like one rule for one another for the rest