How to get rid of garden gnomes??

Question

Help! My garden is infested with these darn gnomes. I've tried weeding them out, pesticides, and having my dog pee on them. Nothing stops them. Any ideas how to get rid of them? Please help before they multiply even more!!!!

Answer 1

Hire a gang of pink flamingos to do a drive-by shooting.

Answer 2

They can definitely be a problem.
If they are multiplying it may be that someone cut a few in half.
Here are some tricks that work in the NorthEast:
1. Sing mocking songs to them at midnight.
2.Hide all the alcohol
3. Get rid of any mushrooms.
4.If you catch any sleeping, don't touch them! Just spray paint their bottom with baboon blue paint.
5. If you find any of their trails, drop a few mothballs around.
6. Leave really bad tobacco out near the pipe smokers.
7. post signs "No Gnomes,Go Home. I mean it!"
8. For the really big ones you'll need the fishing net and a cooler.
9. Try to locate their outhouse and burn it.
10. They really hate the smell of artichokes, so I sprinkle
pieces of that around.
good luck

Answer 3

Sorry. There is no way to get rid of them. They will move on when they move on. It is not well known, but you can place bowls of beer out in the garden once a week. That will keep them from doing any damage or getting into any mischief. It doesn't need to be good beer. The Sumerians used beer made from emmer to suppress gnome damage. They are also put off by squirrels, but then, if you get squirrels to come live in the area and frequent your garden, you will have squirrels digging in your planters and eating root nodules and the like. Jays and starlings can keep them out, but then you will likely get squirrels, too. Better to just live with the gnomes and give them beer now and then.

Answer 4

Theres nothing you can do. However, sometimes garden gnomes spawn a mutant kind of gnome known as "the underpants gnomes". You will know if this happens because instead of having red hats, they will have green hats. If you see this, make sure your doors and windows are locked every night at 3 A.M. or they will invade your house and steal every pair of underpants they can find...

Answer 5

If they're "Gardner" gnomes, let 'em multiply, and make sure they're not harvesting your herb before it buds...
If they're like nasty "Gremlin" gnomes, repeat this chant standing naked in your garden during a full moon...

"Oh, evil little gnomes scuttling by my toes...
Be gone, forthwith, and leave my herb alone
I cast you out of this garden of delight
Sending you to hell in the waning moonlight...!"

Works everytime...

Answer 6

in china theres a big moutain, on top of this mountain is a monk by the name of no-mo-nome. ask him for the secret password, and on your way back buy a fish.. and throw it in the air and see if it dies when it hits the ground.. then go watch the show 'scrubs' then come out with a hammer and show the gnomes whos boss

Answer 7

The only way to effectively eradicate your lawn of gnomes is this: you MUST, at high noon, dance naked around your yard with a necklace of garlic and a top hat!

Answer 8

you must convince them your neighbors garden is 20 times better then once they leave install an electrified fence and an gnome intrusion alarm

Answer 9

ive heard that they despise lawn mowers, so you could park that out by the garden or you could call harry and ron and they will go to kicking them over the hedge, dont forget to call hermiony she will know a spell to get rid of them all for good.

Answer 10

According to Paracelsus, Gnomes have the ability to pass through the earth as if it were water. maybe you should bury them.