I feel like I'm very open minded about a lot of things, but I'm too persuadable. I take everything in and think about it, and this causes me to do some really stupid things. This may be because I don't think it over enough, or I don't listen to the right people. I just want to know how to stick to my own ideas when I need to, and how to bypass my judgment and listen to someone else when I need to.
2007-06-08 08:21:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You lack self confidence in your own judgement. You cannot change other people's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. They cannot change yours. Only you have that power. Don't give it away. Education is the key.
2007-06-14 18:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to handle this situation is to take mental notes on what is being said to you, but to make no committment to any of it until you've had a chance to evaulate it. Part and parcel of the process is to ask yourself if what is being saud is really important in the first place; the persuader's intensity is a measure of how he/she feels -not necessarily an indication of how important the ides really are.
Ask your persuader lots of questions designed NOT to challenge, NOT to ask for proof, but rather to dig out how they came to develop the opinion or idea they have. Example:
Persuader: All the Republicans care about is money! The war in Iraq is just to get oil! Innocent people are being killed so Republican big shots can get richer!
You: I can tell you really mean it! When did you realize this is what was happening? How did you figure it out? What can anyone do about it?
You get the idea -keep 'em talking.
When they ask you to support their cause or do something, tell them this:
"It's worth thinking about, I see your point. This is serious stuff. Do you mind if I ask you more about it later?" Etc.
That's all it takes.
2007-06-14 10:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by JSGeare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem. I was especially vulnerable to being swayed by the people I loved. The problem got better as I realized that I do have a "world view." In other words, I have a basic set of principles and viewpoints that make up the center of who I am. I examine each new situation or question through the lens of my world view. I am open to change and to other opinions, but now I know where my center is. Practice doing this and you will grow into it.
2007-06-08 15:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by goniff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not being open minded, that's being gullible. Being open minded is when you have a certain stance on a subject, but you are willing to and take into consideration other people's ideals or suggestions. However some suggestions or "facts" aren't worth much and may even be false. If you have a doubt about the validity on anything find a expert on that subject or whatever you have doubts on. That way you won't make anymore silly mistakes
2007-06-08 15:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Cookie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem.
I like to think that I am democratic and open-minded and so frequently temper my plans after seeking advice from friends.
Invariably it all ends in a real mess, especially when I act on the recommendations of my best friend.
However, working on my own I rarely fail.
It is not that my friends are stupid, it just happens that way.
So now I ask for help before doing my own thing.
2007-06-15 12:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by Cilly Buggah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your basic instincts and intuitions.
Do listen to and evaluate what others have to say to you, but understand that their words and viewpoints are data to be added to the equation, they are NOT the final solution to it.
That is something YOU have to come up with on your own.
I used to have the opposite problem with my late husband. Every time I did not just blindly follow his advice or do what he suggested, he would accuse me of not listening to him. I was always trying to tell him - and I'm not sure I ever did get it through to him - that I DID listen, and I factored in everything he had to say, but ultimately made up my own mind, anyway.
Don't stop listening and taking it all in. To NOT listen and absorb what others have to say can be a serious mistake, too. Because then, you are trying to make your decision WITHOUT all the necessary data.
Regard other people's opinions and advice as ingredients in a cake. You couldn't bake much of a cake without them, but they are JUST ingredients - NOT the final cake, itself. YOU have to mix and bake those ingredients in your own mental kitchen to come out with the final result!
2007-06-08 18:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by monarch butterfly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am just like that. What I do is really concentrate. If it is a decision that is harmless, no matter which way it goes, they I don't give that much thought to it. But if it really matters, I contemplate it, a lot. I go through the what ifs and all the maybes. But, most of the time, in the end I go with my instincts. Just, trust yourself.
2007-06-15 14:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by Emily C. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always collect more data. Sleep on the info. Chew on it. Evaluate, compare, and withhold a decision until satisfied. Most things need not be decided now.
2007-06-16 01:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by LELAND 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns and your gut feeling.
2007-06-15 22:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your instincts and not other people.
2007-06-14 00:35:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sister 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋