my bff ((yes its the same one from my other question)) has never gotten along with her dad. SOmetimes when I call her on the phone I can hear them fighting and they will both tell me their sides of the story- idk who to believe. Her dad is really nice to me, but my friend makes him sound like an ogre. He's on meds so i dont wanna judge him. I feel bad for him i really do. But a few months ago he was arrested for child abuse and now I have no way to clarify whether my best friend is lying or her dad. They are both suffering thats all I know. My friend needs my support but her dad might never let me help again if i try to go against him. Any suggestions?
2007-06-08 06:44:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
*Sample on the phone*
Dad: dont even listen to a word that she's saying, shes being rude....
Friend: Retard! Dad,stop lying, you know thats not the truth
*throwing things*
Dad: listen Ruchi D, stop calling!
Friend: See this! My dad is so stupid!
Dad: Do you see how she treats me?
2007-06-08 07:09:12 · update #1
I think you are doing the best thing you can do which is listening. You are not a mental health professional or a family councilor, so they can not expect you to solve their problems. Just be supportive and try not to take sides. However, if you see any signs of violence, then you need to get help immediately tell an authority figure and let them sort it out. If the father has already been arrested for child abuse, chances are they are already being monitored by a social worker. If the situation takes a dangerous turn, you or your friend should contact the social worker ASAP and get to a safe place. Good luck!
2007-06-08 06:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by marah p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question should be : Should I rather support a man who was arrested for child abuse, or try to help my friend ?... Ask yourself this question and you will find the right answer. I don't want to judge the man either, but if he was arrested, there was a good reason for it. Your friend should report the abuse again and that is where you would be of help. You are not saying if the abuse was directed at your friend or another child.
You understand that a child abuser can be nice to someone before he begins to abuse right?
Follow your intuition on this. There are always signs that shows there is something going on. Keep an eye to observe the behavior of your friend and her father. And soon you will find out which one is lying .
2007-06-08 07:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by montralia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) He's on medication and I'm guessing for a mental illness
2) He was arrested for child abuse.
I've been in your friends shoes before AND now...and I'll be 21 next month. It's hard enough to find people to talk to but I give your friends dad credit. At least he's nice to you, so it's hard to tell. My dad on the other hand has been called Satan reincarnated by everyone he comes across. My dad has severe paranoid skitzophrenia and he has medicine he's SUPPOSE to take but doesn't because his paranoia makes him feel as though the doctors are trying to kill him.
I will ask you this, how long have you known your friend? Besides her dad appearing nice, has there been any other reason for you to doubt your friends claim?
In my own personal opinion.... Your friends with YOUR FRIEND. Not with her dad. I know your trying to gain star points with the parents but keep in mind your suppose to be there for your friend... not her dad. Her dad *I'm sure* has friends of his own. He shouldn't confide in you in the 1st place. Honestly, I strongly believe he knows it's putting you in the middle. If you continue to play the middle man in that situation then your going to lose your friendship with your friend.
So I ask this last question... whats more important to you?
1) The friendship you have with your friend?
2) Or being in the good graces of her dad?
2007-06-08 07:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by ~MaMi*DriA~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just about the weridest thing I have ever heard. Your friends dad tells you his problems? That is just a little strange. If the man was arrested for child abuse then I suggest you help your friend as much as you can and stay far far away from her father. Clearly he is unstable.
2007-06-08 06:48:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is one thing to remember: There are always two sides to the pancake, no matter how you flip it. In other words, there is truth and untruth in both of their stories.
However, the more important truth for you is that these two people confide in your, and seem to feel a sense of peace when they discuss matters with you, so you can be friends to both of them, without injuring your relationship with either one.
You don't necessarily have to adopt the thinking of either one, nor do you have to believe what they are telling you, because you seem to be a person with whom they feel comfortable in talking, so keep it at that, and just continue offering your friendship, and allowing them to talk with you.
Most people will value someone with whom they can go to vent, to share, to ask advice, and also someone with whom they can feel confident in keeping secrets, or things they share with you in condfindence. The worst thing you can do is to be disloyal to either party, and share information to either one that is given to you in confidence. You will destroy the trust that is there now, that of course you don't want to do this.
Yes, they are both suffering, and you are acting as a friend, and as a buffer to help them deal with their suffering. Continue being their friend, and be enjoy your relationship that you have.
2007-06-08 06:53:35 · answer #5 · answered by 1greatguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ruchi D. Gosh hon you are in a tough position, the way I would handle it is get them both togther and have an open diolog ! Good things can happen when honest words are spoken. Glory be to Jesus !
2007-06-08 06:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't even go there. You are better off away from these type of problems. Sometimes problems need to be resolved by the people making them.
2007-06-08 06:49:32 · answer #7 · answered by yopude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he was arrested for shild abuse I'm gonna say he probably isn't such a swell guy.
2007-06-08 06:47:42 · answer #8 · answered by John L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it to them to fix
2007-06-15 18:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋