How do you know if it's God's will or the devil to end your marriage?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. Less than 5 of those we have been happy together. And its getting worse recently.

We have 3 children. There has been mental abuse through out. Recently pyscial. And he has cheated a few times. Im no saint by any means. I can be mean with words. But I have never cheated or even given him reason to doubt. I pray and pray and pray. He doubts there is a God or devil. And my mother depends on me finacially because she is disabled. Although she does not live with us. But if he and I do split I dont think I could take care of all the finances. And I do still love him I want this to work so much. I've started antidepressants, and sleeping medication to help me deal. I have chest pains, can't eat. Im loosing my child hood friend here. I keep fighting and fighting. But Im just wondering if I even should. Maybe God never meant for us to even be together to begin with. We have had problems for quite a few years. And when I say we were happy for 5 years I dont mean straight through. I mean adding here and there equals up to 5 years.

Answer 1

I believe that God gives a choice to marry who we want. There are perimeter that we should marry wthin and if we fail to marry within those boundaries, then there are ill effects that come from our decisions. It sounds like you two never should have gotten married because you are unevenly yoked, meaning one accept God and the other don't. Also, anytime a person brings abuse in a relationship, mental or physical, they are showing you they don't want a relationship but someone to control. Lastly, when the relationship affects your health, it is time to go. An ill mother is no good to her children.

Answer 2

I know that it is a hard decision to make. I am currently going through marital strife. My husband and I have only been married for 18 months, although we dated for 5 years. I recently found out that he has been keeping a long standing affair of which started before we were even married, and now this woman is pregnant.

I truly believe that God was revealing this to me prior to my marriage and even after, but I was too stubborn and naive to pay close attention to the CAUTION and STOP! signs.

I believe that as you continue to pray God will reveal his will to you, but you must be humble and willing to accept His answer. Oh, and being patient is the key (and the hard part).

The devil's soul purpose is to defeat what God means for the good of His people. This is why God really wants us to know who He is so that we can hear his voice and discern it from that of the ultimate liar.

Also, I know that when children are involved it makes the decision harder. I'm not sure that this is the case with you, but again trust in God and he will give deliverance whether it is divorce or complete restoration of your marriage.

I will pray for you.

Answer 3

It's always God's will that works and nothing else. Even Devil cannot do a thing unless God wills.
The problems that you face are within you two and the elements that cause these have come within you is because of God's will. God knows how the current phase of problems have come after 5 years of happiness. He has designed all this. God may still be willing that you two return to your blissful days again. The current phase will pass. God has given you the strength to endure 10 years of discord. If things have become worse recently, that is also God's will. Leave it to Him. He will do whatever is good for you two. You cannot do anything about this on your own except bearing the pain unless God wills differently. Know every minute of yours is God's design.
I pray to God for you.

Answer 4

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, cohabited for 2 years and married for 6 years before we separated last year. We have been through a lot together - happiness, sickness, fights, quarrels and affairs, etc. I have tried to hang on to the marriage for years. I happened to explore about the signs of my birth and unbelievably, I found that what have happened for my past forty years of life have actually been determined the minute I was born. The stars of my life plan determines the man I fell in love with, when I met my husband, when there was affair, when we got serious illness, when we broke up, etc. Ever since I was young, I have been seeking the answers about life. I have been to churches, asked priests and catholics. I have also been given buddhist books for reading by buddhists. But still the answers could not convince me. Not until I have read my own stars and then read a buddhist book (a book which I was given twice by a doctor and later again by my brother in the last 10 years) again several months ago. I believe the answers are "karma" and "reincarnation". I am not trying to spread superstition here and I know it's hard to believe. But "karma" and "reincarnation" explain why the stars of my life plan (chinese astrology) is able to tell what have happened (at least all major life experiences) in my past. The answers have helped me accept more peacefully my husband's unfaithfulness (his affair) and our separation as well as the "misfortunes" of my life. I have recently been able to stop blaming my husband and the woman.

Answer 5

We all have free will so it is neither God nor Satan trying to end your marriage. We all make choices which there is a consequence for. If you are unhappy with your marriage then someone is not working at it. Marriage is work on both parts. Communication is the key. The two of you need to be a team. No one goes through life happy all the time but should not be unhappy most of the time either. You and your husband need to decide if you want to work at it, stay unhappy or separate. The choice is yours. There is no quick fix I would give it my all after 15 years if he is willing to. No one is perfect and I am sure if you both work at it you will either have a great marriage or know things are not going to work buy you gave it your all. Either way looking back you will have no regrets.

Answer 6

God always has a plan. When things may not look "good" at the moment it only opens up opportunities for God to show new great things later. The devil will never cause anyone to end a marriage. Don't give the devil any credit for ending any marriages. The devil may be a master of sin but humans make the choices along God's path for us.

Answer 7

I would say (and Jesus confirmed this when asked about the woman who had been married to seven brothers who each died) that it is never God's will for a marriage to end. Even if two people are both lost/unsaved, they still made a covenant in the presence of God. Try to remember what made you fall in love and want to get married in the first place

Now, we are human and have our flaws and imperfections, so we naturally do not get along 100% of the time. This can also apply to married couples. I would say this - if both of you (and it has to be both - one person cannot do both peoples' share and God will never force either of you to) want your marriage to succeed - and will dedicate whatever effort is required to make it happen - then it will succeed. Just as in pursuing a career choice / education / promotion / etc, if you are determined enough - it will work. But the great thing is that with a marriage you also have God's blessing. If you both open your hearts to God and to each other and stay on the "same team" instead of being "me" and "her/him" you will stay together and succeed. Now this is of course barring a partner who is unwilling to try / change / whatever - and is assuming there is not spousal abuse / infidelity - but even then - God can redeem what is given over to Him. God's word says that you have become "one flesh." May God richly bless your efforts in your marriage.

Answer 8

It is never God's will for a marriage to end. God's word gives you the choice to divorce him if he is abusive. But it's your choice. My husband and I just got done reading a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book is amazing and it's not a very long book either. Our church even has a Wednesday night class that teaches out of this book. Most any bookstore should carry it for $15 or less.

Answer 9

You weren't very specific in how "it's getting worse". Not sure if you want the truth or just looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear? If you made a commitment (which I'm sure you did) that you will stay with this man "for better or worse" you need to stay! If you think that he has broken his commitment to you (ie.: been unfaithful, etc.), then maybe you should file for divorce! Just remember that this not only affects you and he, but kids and other family members! Please pray about this and know that I'll keep you in my prayers as well. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 10

The easy answer to that is that God hates divorce. He will always forgive you for doing things that you shouldn't... but as it says in the Bible... He only sees it acceptable for a divorce if there is infedelity. However, there is a lot of power in prayer. Read the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" if you really want your marriage to work. The devil is always out for failure. He loves death, divorce, and anything else that causes problems. I've been divorced... but I divorced my ex because he couldn't be with just me. I struggled even with that. It took me 6 years of going through an ugly marriage to finally say, "okay, God is going to forgive me for this too". Good luck and I hope you can work it out.

Edited:
I just wanted to ad something... There was a person who responded to your question by saying, "what does god have to do with your relationship"... the problem is that if GOD is in your relationship, and you don't let the devil drag you down, you will prevail. You commited your life to this man, and you should pray for him and your relationship together. Again... good luck.