Would you be hurt and would this cause a problem in your marriage?
2007-06-08 04:44:58 · 25 answers · asked by roughruggedraw 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I would never marry a man that I didn't have an open communication with and trust completely. Yes, I would be upset if only for the reason that he didn't consider my feelings and I think I deserve the same amount of respect that I would give him.
2007-06-08 06:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by ecogeek4ever 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From a guy who got one.
Ok ladies if married there are a few things that happen. Well for me it did.
1, If married your wife MUST give consent
2 You must have at least 2 Children
3 There has to be a reason for it.
4 The age of the man
I met 2 of the 4 if it wasn't for the medical conditions involved I would not have been able to get one
I got one after our first child, ok only child. Why? because our doctors had said our son really did a number on my wife if she was to get pregnant again it could end in many ways
1 she would lose the child.
2 She could go full term and it kill her in labor or they could both die.
Even with that SHE had to GIVE CONSENT to have the job done. She regrets me getting it once in awhile but she knows why I did it. I did it for her.
If she would not have given consent then I would not have been able to get the surgery regardless of the other situations involved.
It is odd that your husband is able to get one with out the 4 steps up top. I know I could not.
Sorta funny once married the wife even owned my balls. lol
2007-06-08 13:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by tannum2000 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depend son when he had the vasectomy performed, fi it was before our marriage I wouldn't have room to complain much. If it were during our marriage and he did it behind my back, I'd be pissed.
However, long term, I'd get over it and we would adopt children. I've often thought of adopting children an yway. There are plenty of children out there who need a loving family. That's the mature way to handle it rather than never forgiving him and letting it ruin your marriage.
Hope that helps.
2007-06-08 11:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If he did it without even discussing it first, I would think there was definitely something wrong. Most couples know before they marry whether or not they plan to have children in the future. If he went back on a previous decision, then I'd probably consider him to be unbelievably selfish. At the same time, I would never force my husband (if I had one) into fatherhood. There would have to be an obscenely huge lack of communication in this marriage.
2007-06-08 11:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by pokecheckme 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I would have communicated about this before committing to a person to check for compatibility problems.
From here, I would check in with myself and partner about
1) whether I wanted to adopt,
2) if having a family consisting of children was more vital for my own emotional health than to that of staying in my current partner.
Depending on these answers I would choose to either leave, or to let it go because from here I couldn't blame anyone but myself for the choices I made.
Good luck!
2007-06-08 13:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If my husband went off and had a vasectomy without informing me, then i would have problems, and i dont mean only in regards to having children! Your lines of communication are clearly closed, and its something you need before you even consider having children! Thats a huge thing for him not to tell you. Id be wondering why he didnt feel he could talk to me...?
2007-06-08 11:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by insane_blue_eyez 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he done it after we got married and we had not talked about it first, or if he done it before we got married and did not tell me- yes, I would be hurt and it would cause a problem in our marriage. Once you get married- you are no longer making decision that only affect you. If a husband does not want to include his wife when making decisions that affect their future and vice versa- why get married in the first place?
2007-06-08 11:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by Tamirria Taiki S. 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is his body and his decision to do what he wants with it regarding sterilization. I would neither tell him to or force him to make that drastic as decision. If a man or woman does not want children that should be talked about before the marriage.
2007-06-08 14:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes that would effect my realtionship with my husband because thats something that should be a mutual agreement and if he did not respect your wishes at all then there is trouble. At the same you need to respect his wishes as well. Marriage is complicated and sometimes it really sucks.
2007-06-08 11:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Amber 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why wouldn't the subject of children be broached before the couple got married in the first place? I wouldn't marry someone without discussing that among other things first.
2007-06-08 11:48:46 · answer #10 · answered by Erin 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋