How do I get my husband to notice me again?

Question

This may seem daft, but I wish my husband would notice me like he used too. I know that after a few years the passion can subside, but I do miss it.

He just seems utterly blind to me as a sexual woman with needs. We only make love once or twice a month. We have been together 5 years.

Other men notice me, and it gives me a buzz, but I wish my husband would look at me in the same way! A gorgeous guy at work has made it clear he is attracted to me and it makes me feel warm and giddy, like my husband used too. I would not do anything, but I fear that the lack of love and attention from my husband will one day drive me into someone elses arms.

I am open about how I feel, but I dont think he see's the problem. I am currently loosing weight to regain my self confidence, but have not told him, I want to see if he starts to notice me again.

Ladies, I know alot of you out there have felt this way at some point during your married lives. Do you have any advice for me?

Many Thanks

Answer 1

Hi: I am in the same boat as you, we have been together five years as well. I consider you lucky I have not had sex in five months and I am considering cheating I am only 49 and still relatively attractive

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How do I get my husband to notice me again?
This may seem daft, but I wish my husband would notice me like he used too. I know that after a few years the passion can subside, but I do miss it.

He just seems utterly blind to me as a sexual woman with needs. We only make love once or twice a month. We have been together 5 years.

Other...

Answer 3

Have you lost the love of your life and need to learn how to get your ex back? It's an emotional time and often it seems the harder you try to smooth things over and work things out the worse it gets. Before you make another mistake and finish things for good you need to find out just what to do. If you lost the love of your life and want that person back, you need the Magic of Making Up.

We all know of people who have broken up and then got back together. But I bet right now you wish you knew their secret. Getting back together can happen - there is a way - a strategy if you will - that's learnable. Even though the people you thought of who got back together may not have intended to follow 'the' strategy, they did - by accident. Now wouldn't you like to know just what they did?

Right now if you were to see or talk to your ex on the phone, the chances of your saying just the right thing at the right time - by accident are quite frankly slim to none. You need a plan. You need a map to show you just where you want to go and what you want to accomplish so when you next see or speak with your ex you say all the right things and deliver just the right message.



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Answer 4

Breaking up is tough on people and the thought of how to get your ex back is a frequent one. Here are five ideas you can use - in practice or to brainstorm other ideas. Taking action is always better than moping around.

Talk to her softly - Ever try to get back with someone by trying to prove you were right? If you have, I can assume that it did not go well. Instead of being an overbearing brute, talk to her softly. Let her know how you feel about her, and what direction you are hoping the relationship can go.

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Answer 5

Keep working on yourself. Whether he notices it or not it will do good for your confidence and self image. Introduce some differences in your life like wearing sexy underwear, high heels a little more make-up and a different hair style. Ask him to take you out more often. Go to a lounge where you're around other men. Be coy and feminine around him. Flirt with him or any guy in the room. If he doesn't begin to notice you then start going out on your own a little.

Answer 6

Well, perhaps you need to stop needing his attention and start 1. Giving it to yourself and 2. Giving it to him.

Maybe you should start being sexy just for yourself! That's always sexy to a partner. You've been together 5 years. My secret for success with my man is that he always feels like he's with a different woman (not because I have Multiple Personality Disorder) because I often change my appearance, new hair, new perfume, different clothing styles. Experiment with the "you" he knows and make it somehow unfamiliar! That's sexy.

Also, what have you done to make him feel sexy lately? Have you done for him what you long for him to do for you?

Write him a sexy letter. Get a new dressing gown. Give him a surprise sexual encounter that's only for HIM. Use your sex appeal and imagination. If you aren't a furnace of love, read books that get your mind thinking in that direction. Have fun!

Keep up your fitness! That's ALWAYS sexy to a man!

I think you're going to be very successful!

Answer 7

Sounds like you are stuck in that same old rut. Time to get out and start a date night. Go to dinner by yourselves, rent a room at a nice Hotel for the night. Go somewhere romantic or fun. Get to know each other again. You may have to be the one to work towards this and help him along. He may be so tired and busy from work he has left this romance on the backburner. I think once you get some fun and excitement back in your lives he will feel that spark again.

Answer 8

I think that the first thing you need to do is talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling and what your needs are. Ask him if there is anything that has changed in your relationship that you don't know about. Ask him if he loves you the same way that he did when you first married 5 years ago? Depending on how he answers will lead you through the rest of your conversation. Best wishes in your conversation....

Answer 9

Talk to him about it maybe?
IF not talk to him again about it...
and if that doesn't work tell him how you feel once and if not go tell a counselor... see what they have to say. Try 7 Cups of Tea. It's a great little site I have found very helpful in a time of need. There you can find many listeners (That's what they call them there.) and they can assist you in and with any problems you have or may not have. Thanks. Bye and have a good day.

Answer 10

Would you mind hearing from a man who also has this issue?
Perhaps what I "crave" will be stimulating to him, as well.

Congratulations for trying to make it work and good luck with your diet. Your confidence will mean everything to you and to him.

My wife has lost that "spring" in her step when she sees me, I miss that. This is that little hop just before we hug or kiss "hello". She is not often tactile or affectionate and I crave that. If you were to approach him with that little energy and embrace his arm when you kiss him, it just HAS to make him feel better!

Another thing that I miss is when we used to kiss on the sofa or while sitting next to each other. Whenever I feel a gentle hand caress my face or back of my neck during a smooch, I JUST MELT!!!AHHHHHHHH!!! I just can't get enough of that.

If you want to be more playful, try holding hands while crossing the street or walking into a store/restaurant/ home, then stroke his arm up and down with the other hand gently. That is so soothing and loving that it says, "I absolutely love being with you!"

The last thing that she (still) does to get my attention is when I bend over to tie shoes or pick something up, she pats my butt just once, not too hard. That tells me, "hey you still got it".

Best of luck, never give up on him or yourself.