will they get together?

Question

okay..am i dumb?
My husband left 3 months ago, and wants a divorce.I think that he thought that women would be falling all over him, and they are not.I saw him out with a neighbour who he has had sex with, but she has a boyfriend too, and he says that they are just friends, but also says that they may hook up, and this women is a slut.
My husband tells me he still loves me,cares for me etc,we have 3 kids too.We have had sex a few times since he left too,and are still attracted to each other. He says that we may get back together,but maybe not, he is not sure, but is filing for divorce still.
Heres my question,is he just stringing me along?He knows that i love him very much, and will wait for him,will he come back?will he live wih this other woman?i guess maybe im just venting,but what are the odds of them getting together,and staying together,she is a cheat, and a liar,and im heartbroken that my man wants that in his life,were together 12 years.

no, this is not a trailer park...thanks for that.
Im just in a dilemma, he is unsure of what he wants too,and im willing to give him time to figure it out..12 years is a lot of time to just throw away,and if there was any chance for us then i want to take it. Im not looking to date, im getting on with my life,and not sitting around waiting for him, but at the same time i miss him so much that i think about him a lot. Do couples ever get back together after something like this?

Answer 1

I hate to break it to you, but he is absolutely playing with you. He knows that, like you said, you love him very much and will wait for him. You're still having sex with him while he is sleeping with other women! What possible reason would he have to give up his current situation? He can have whoever he wants, and still sleep with you!

You need to start respecting yourself more. You called your husband's girlfriend 'a cheat and a liar'. What does that make your husband?? If he wants to be with other people, then he cannot be with you. End of story. You need to set a good example for your children; would you want them to think that this kind of relationship is normal and healthy? Of course not!!

If he isn't sure about getting back together, it's up to you to take action. File the divorce papers yourself and start collecting child support from him. He has no motivation to change his current behavior, and after the way he's treated you, why would you want him back? And while you're at it, better get checked for an STD -- who knows what you let him give you from those other women. Yuck!!

Answer 2

You have to disconnect and let him go. I understand that you are hurting and this will take time for it to pass. You deserve to be loved by someone who respects you and cares about the way you feel. Your husband has some big issues with himself and this is about him not you! You cannot allow him to have sex with you under these circumstances because it is dangerous for you and you have 3 children to care for. if your husband truly loved you he would get right and want marriage counseling. He is out of control and he has your emotions on a roller coaster. Get off and refuse to take that ride. He will continue to do what he is doing because he knows you will take him back. Stand up to him and tell him you have had enough and do not tolerate anymore of this emotional abuse. He has betrayed and broke the trust in your marriage and even if he came back nothing will ever be the same! You have to get strong and fight for a better life than the deal your husband has given you. You can do it and you can make it and there is light at the end of the tunnel I guarntee it. My daughter is going through the same thing with 3 children to. Connect with people who will help you and support you. Find out what government services and educational opportunities are available in your community. It is time to shut the door to your husband so that you can open a new one. There are many men out there that could love you in the right way my daughter did and he accepted all the children to! Life can be better but you have to remove the garbage out!!! Call a counselor and let someone guide you appropriately that can encourage you in the right direction. You have to be responsible to find your own respect because your husband is not giving it to you! I know things are hard and I realize how hurt you are but do not allow him to emotionally abuse you anymore. Take care of yourself sweetie and talk with us when you need to.

Answer 3

I dont know what you are doing since he has been gone, but if I were you I would join a gym, take some college courses, new hair style and forget him. Better yourself while you are "waiting" on him to make up his mind. He is stringing you along, he wants to have his fun and know that you are there waiting on him when he is done, As long as you dont do the same as he is doing. Dont sit there and wait on that fool to come back, make a better life for you and the kids and ignore his sorry @ss. If you do let him come home, make sure before you have sex again, you send him in for the whole line up of tests for STDs. For now make sure your using a condom.

Answer 4

It sounds like you're in love and he's looking to have sex with as many women as possible. After 12 years and 3 children I'm sure he still has some feelings for you, but one of them seems to be complete disrespect. After bearing 3 of his children you deserve to be treated better than the woman on the side.

Answer 5

You poor soul. It sounds like he's playing games to cover his bases. If this woman is a S*** he's subjected you to a communicable disease. You reassuring him he has a place to come home to only give him an excuse to carry on with his bad behavior. You Ex seems to be attracted to any woman with a heartbeat! If you want him back it's normal but being his doormat is not. What about your children? Does he not see what this is doing to them? I think it's time for some tough love on your behalf! File yourself and make him think the jig is up. Make him think. It sounds like you've tried hard to keep your man but he's just using you for fill until he hooks up with another woman.
One day your sorrow will turn to anger over how he threw away his family.
In short he's a jerk!
I pray that God gives you strength to deal with this dillema.

Answer 6

No, you aren't dumb. And none of us have any way of knowing whether they will get together. What I suggest is that you concentrate on your relationship with your husband. If you love him, and he still loves you, is attracted to you, and you still have sex, you and he need to talk about your marriage. There's a lot a stake here, with a 12 year marriage and 3 children. Find out for sure if he wants to get back with you.

Answer 7

The guy is going through mid life crisis. my husband did the same thing, although as far as I know he didn't hook up with anyone. we were seperated for 8 months and he kept saying it's over, and I didn't give up, but I finally started to move on and as soon as I did, he wanted me back. We are back together and happier than ever. I didn't move on with another guy, just on in life in general. good luck!!! Those were the toughest eight months of my life!

Answer 8

Don't be his fallback girl! You deserve better than that. You sound like a very caring person, find someone who will not play these games with you. It is very mean of him to not only put you through this, but his kids as well. Put your foot down and either he is in or out. No more games. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You would do worse for yourself in the long run taking him back. Once your divorce is filed, granted, or finalized, start dating again. And stop having sex with the bastard. You wont get over him if you don't and he will just continue to toy with you.

Answer 10

get out. go through with the divorce. you do not want that around your kids. and you do not need that in your life. i did it and went through it the waiting. and it just hurts worse.