what are behaviors of insecure men?

Question

i am recently married and my husband has been doing things, or not doing things rather that bothers me. also saying things or not saying things. i vent to my female co-workers. they always seem to tell me that my husband is insecure. so my question is....what are the behaviors of insecure men? if they match my husband after i read your answers....what can i possibly do to deal with his insecurity???? please help, my marriage depends on it. serious answers only please.

if i were to ask my husband if he was insecure, he would never admit it anyway! hell, he doesnt even know what insecure means! here's the low-down.....i have lost 20 lbs and i look super hott now! i had to but all new clothes and swim suits. i was never big, but i always wanted a killer bod. so at 25, i finally did it. i wrk out and diet regulary and i have worked very hard for my new body and i would like some recognition from my husband. everyone else says i look great! so when i try on new clothes for him...he says, oh, those pants are too tight! and my cute swim suit i just bought...he said...ur *** is hanging out! (which it doesnt fit me ANY diff. from any other bathing suit i have ever owned). i bought it from a department store for petes sake! a size medium! he NEVER compliments me and i am a woman and i need complimenst from my better half. my friends say that he is insecure and jealous of my new look. thats my point! how dod i fix this?

Answer 1

Not all men act the same when insecure. Just like not all women act the same when insecure. I know some that get oversensitive and some that hide behind a false macho bravado. If someone is insecure you cannot hand-feed them confidence, it is something they have to find on their own. You can suggest different confidence building strategies or just respect them, acknowledge when they do something good and remind them of accomplishments they should be proud of, but that is not sure-fire. The only person you can change is you. Try reading the book "Dealing successfully with Screwed Up People." Whatever his "affliction" you can temper your reaction.

Answer 2

Sometimes insecure men have been in a long relationship and never got what he was looking for, but the relationship was over a long time ago. All you needed to do was go to the Court and make it legal. He basically stayed in a mentally abusive, emotionally and without love relationship. Now he is damaged goods, for nobody. So basically he is not a good prospect for a boy friend, partner and definitely not a husband!. Run, Run, Run the other direction, it is not your job to fix him, that's God's Job! It is too time consuming and requires much wasted time and energy! There is someone much better that has the same confidence that you have, that makes for a healthy, thriving, mature, peaceful and loving relationship. If you have tried all that you know to do, within reason and he still don't get it. You deserve better. He is not worth your health. Life is too precious and short! So tell him to kick rocks and move on. He is ill, tell him to get well soon! Love yourself first. You are not responsible for his happiness, confident or illness! He needs a doctor and that is Dr. Jesus.

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
what are behaviors of insecure men?
i am recently married and my husband has been doing things, or not doing things rather that bothers me. also saying things or not saying things. i vent to my female co-workers. they always seem to tell me that my husband is insecure. so my question is....what are the behaviors of insecure men? ...

Answer 4

Usually a man that is insecure shows signs of jealousy, but not always. There are also the "in the closet" insecure men that hide it well. They boast alot and loudly about themselves. They try to overdo anything. They seem obnoxious, but in truth they are just shouting for approval. Hope that helps!

Answer 5

...Hey Jenny?....Instead of taking in questionable responses of people that are not involved specifically in your marriage?....how about sitting down calmly with your supposedly "insecure husband"...and have a nice calm unassuming conversation with him maybe??? I always say you should go to the horses mouth seriously. Go to the supposed source of this possible problem darling...otherwise all your gonna confusingly end up with are some conflicting responses and remarks that reasonably have no mentally direct value for you hun. I say if you want the truth from him hun?...you're gonna have to ask for it from the source baby! It might possibly be YOUR insecurity we should be talking about here otherwise. No offense intended here darling...but nobody I've ever met in life is perfect....not even him!

Answer 6

Rather then you take advise from people who have no real way of giving you an intelligent answer as we are not a therapist nor know your husband. Instead of sitting and venting to your friends have a talk with your husband one on one. Ask him if something is bothering him. Find out why he is reacting a certain way. When you are married it is suppose to be the 2 of you. Not you, him, & yahoo. Please, have the talk things may not be as they apear to be. Also as much as your friends want to help you woman do not think like men so I don't think we are always right.

Answer 7

Sorry if this comes across as blunt, but you said your marriage depends on it.

You're first mistake was confiding in your co-workers about your marital problems. A warning sign of a troubled marriage is when a partner feels that they must go outside of the marriage to resolve a problem from within. It sounds based on what you wrote as if your husband and you have problems communicating. I would suggest you speak with him directly about it, or that you both see a counselor. It's easier to deal with things when they're out in the open and the two spouses are communicating.

Answer 8

insecure men seem to be clingy and have bad mood swings and always want to know where you are at and who you are with all the time. Studies have shown that insecure men are more likely to become abusive men.

Answer 9

two things I see from my insecure friends. The first is boasting. Always talking about how good they did. And whenever something cool happens they always have a story about how they or a relative did it too. The other is being defensive. Any time a critical comment is made about them they always talk about it and talk about it instead of saying yeah good point.

Answer 10

lack of confidence.. talk to him about it and figure out what is really making him insecure. There might be something that happen in the past thats making him insecure.