Am I crazy because I check to make sure my son is breathing constantly at night?

Question

Does anyone else do this. I check on him literally 6 times at night to make sure I see his chest rise. I even put my finger under his nose to make sure I feel warm air. Am I crazy? I feel like it. He's 18 months old! How do I RELAX!?

Answer 1

My children are 5 1/2 and two. I still go in to them at night, just before I go to bed myself, and, if I don't see them move, or hear them (my oldest sometimes snores, and talks in her sleep!), I will watch until I'm sure their chests are moving, or lay my hand on them to feel their hearts beating. Sometimes, just because it feels so good, I'll sit with them, and put them in my lap for a minute or two, or even pick my youngest up and hold her head on my shoulder while she sleeps! It's a mom thing . . . a lot of moms do it.

As my brother always says, "It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you." There's so much that we have to worry about during the day to keep them safe, it's sometimes hard to turn that off while they sleep (and, when they're especially tiny, you still HAVE to worry while they sleep!) It's not crazy, it's natural.

Going in six times a night at his age, though, WILL make you crazy! The worst sleeping danger is past. He's sleeping through the night (I'm assuming), and now you can too. Relax, and enjoy that! Get a monitor, maybe even one with a camera so that you can just roll over and look at him from your own bed.

If you still feel like that's not enough, limit yourself to making rounds at only certain times of night. If his bedtime is 7, put him down, and check again at 7:30 or 8. Then, just before you go to bed, check him again. Don't let yourself get up at 2 or 3 in the morning, unless you need to go to the bathroom, for instance (I have to pass my kids' rooms to do that, so I let myself peek in then.) When the alarm goes off in the morning, then check. If you kind of wean yourself out of it, you'll end up worrying less. You don't want to keep doing this for the next 18 YEARS, do you?!

It might also be helpful to talk to his pediatrician. They can give you all kinds of facts and statistics that might help you to worry less, and maybe even give you some advice on how to stop feeling like you HAVE to check so often. They might even have other moms who feel the same way!

Good luck!

Answer 2

I personally did this a lot when my kids were infants but once they are a year old the chance of SIDS is beyond low according to everything I've read. I assume this is what you are fearing with your little boy and we all have had those fears. There are monitors that you can purchase that would help you keep track of his breathing but I'm not quite certain how well they would work as 18 month old kids can be pretty restless sleepers. If your little one stays put for the most part they may work just fine. (Don't quote me...I just have friends who have needed these for at risk kids.) Basically, they track your baby's breathing but I don't know how pricy they are. If you are really having that much trouble relaxing it may be worth it for your peace of mind. At some point, you will be able to check on your son once before you go to bed and rest assured that he is sleeping soundly and peacefully and will wake a happy boy in the morning. :)

Answer 3

I have alway done it when my babies are "new" just because of the whole SIDS thing since noone really knows what causes it, but at 18 mo, I would relax a bit. If there is nothing medically wrong with him, I wouldnt worry. The worst thing that could happen to him at 18 mo in a crib is maybe a bad dream or not being able to find a favorite doll or pacifier.
Relax and sleep!

Answer 4

No, you're not crazy! It's perfectly normal and it shows you're a loving, concerned parent. I also did that, and I still do check on her in the middle of the night if I get up to go to the bathroom or whatever, and she's soon to be 6 now. Eventually, as your little pooh-bear gets older, you'll check less and less, but as a parent you'll never stop checking altogether, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! :-)

Answer 5

Ok at 18mo you don't need to check that much. I did this with my first and then after a while I would only check if he slept too late. I am assuming this is your first baby, most first time moms get carried away like that. Do you have a baby monitor to hear him breathing? Maybe try one with video on it so you just have to see if his chest is moving. 18mo does seem a bit extreme to be checking that much. If you are concerned about how much you worry then talk to your family doctor about it. Women can get crazy when they have kids to protect : P

Answer 6

I don't check my girl that many times, but she's still in the bassinet right next to my bed so I hear every little deep breathe or peep. Which helps reassure me throughout the night. I don't think you are crazy, its a normal parent thing especially with the first child.

Answer 7

that's funny. i slept with my first baby on my chest for the first 6 months, just so i could feel his breath. Try this, though -- as long as you have your baby monitor hooked up turn it up, while he's asleep, any time you want to check. within a few moments you can usually hear them breathe or rustle and you know they're safe. at 18 mos he's big enough to take off covers if they cover his face or move his head if his breathing is obstructed. it's rare a child suffocates from SIDS related obstructions by that age. you're not neurotic, but you want him to get used to sleeping all night without you checking on him, which can cause him to not sleep as soundly. the monitor works so well for me after i move them from the bassinet to their crib in their own room.

and you never get to relax, not really -- you're a mom. just remember, if you're extremely overprotective with him he's going to be a nervous wreck. you have to calm down externally, at least, so that he doesn't pick up on it and worry for you. i was always better when i could see them and when they're awake.

Answer 8

I do it too! I don't know how to relax about it. His father had another baby from a previous relationship that passed away at 10 months and it is always in my head! It makes it even worse that my son absolutely WILL NOT sleep on his back. He insists on sleeping on his tummy and will roll over if placed on his back. It is so nerve wracking. Good luck and I am going to be checking back here to see what others say in response to you.

Answer 9

I do too, all the time, I think it's very normal for parents to do that. I will add though your son is well out of the range for the risk of sids - so that should relax you a bit. Start doing it less and less each night til eventually you stop all together. You do have to let yourself stop eventually or else how are you going to sleep at night.

Answer 10

My wife and I did this with our daughter, but that was probably due more to the fact that she was a preemie who didn't come home with us until she was four months old.

You realize that what you're doing is maybe a little overboard or you wouldn't be asking. The anxiety may be normal in the first few months, but unless there's a reason for your fear, it is time for you to get past it. Get a good monitor so you can hear if he's in distress during the night, and get yourself some sleep.