he left me last may, telling me to put our home up for sale! he never returned to pick anything up! i had to sort out everything! we had three dogs, and i have a son, from my first marriage. nows hes trying to say i had an affair with my ex-husband,that i was only married to him for money, that i was abusive towards him, and trying to make out he's the perfect angel. he's now trying to divorce me, he wants to claim costs, part share in my new home, shares in my pension and is trying to rip my life apart now! what can i do??
2007-06-08 02:49:13 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lets get your hubby and my x together and go on a boat trip then push them in and then lets see if they can swim as we go home
2007-06-11 05:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by kokkisser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are between a rock and an hard place! you have my sympathy for whats its worth! - Trouble is unless you signed a pre nup agreement before your marriage its going to be difficult not giving him half of everything!. or him giving you half of whats his!.. its not all black!..
I am sure you know that the very first thing you have to do is talk to him in front of an in partial person! and try and sort something out fairly. - Not doing this will lead you both to big legal bills.(least try).
In divorce cases these days it really doesn't matter whether you or he had a affair, The divorce process no longer apportions blame , but does need to know that the marriage is over and there is no chance of a reconciliation. Once this has been established the court via your solicitor will ask for a statement of property and wealth were you both will have to list all your assets, right down to the very last penny!. The court then will look at the assets and circumstances and then you both will be notified about the financial settlement that the court has determined has being fair to you both.
Good luck!
2007-06-08 04:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by robert x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, he can say or request whatever he wants. You do not hae to listen to him, Just dont agree or sign anything from him or any lawyer. He will have to prove any and all allegations he makes in a court of law and if hes not careful,then sue him for slander and defamation of character. If he ever adopted your son as his, youll retain full custody,get the house and child support at least. You can get a protective restraining order against him if you need one. If he hasnt yet filed, you can file for a divorce on the grounds of abdonment. The worst scenario here would be that you would have to sell the house and split whatever proceeds are left after paying the bills. If you cannot affordan attorney right now, Id advise to hire at least a Paralegal who is just as knowledgable and a whole lot cheaper than an attorney. If I can be ofassistance email me at thunder_wright@yahoo.com anytime.Good luck
2007-06-08 03:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you 'can't' but you need to leave him if you are EVER to have any element of self-esteem and worth left to your name. The "many things" will work themselves out in a court of law if need be...but if you have a place to go, you should pack, take what you want and leave OR, if you have children, file for divorce and have the police, if need be, remove him from the premises. You're "pussyfooting" around here girl, asking how your can quell your rage when the obvious is right in front of you and you say, you "can't" do it. Well you can, it's just that you won't. Don't contact the other woman either. That's tacky and useless. Exercise a backbone and do one of the two suggestions above, otherwise, you're clearly a willing doormat. Grace
2016-05-19 22:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an excellent lawyer, tell him everything, and then do what he tells you. Let a lawyer take care of this for you - it is too big for you to handle and your husband is a bully. Don't talk to your husband anymore. Reinforce to your husband you are not interested in hearing any more of his accusations, demands or threats. Give your husband your attorney's name and phone number and let him know that whatever issues he has - to call your lawyer - NOT YOU. Forget his accusations on you...they will impress no one. Your lawyer will know what is legally relevant and what is not. Don't go into a courtroom alone with your husband (I did that once and what a mistake). Always have your lawyer there to represent you. And when the divorce is final - cut off all communication with the bully.
2007-06-08 02:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a goos solicitor and get a mediator in and try to agree a settlement which is fair most courts will favor you as you have the child and he can only take his share in the home if you are in the uk go to the citizens advice beureux and get some advice but he has tp prove you commited adultery and other claims he has made against you.
2007-06-08 02:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st off, how do u know he was cheating? do u have proof and if so get hold of all this proof and keep hold of it all in a folder... 2nd all get diary, and every time he calls or txts or come around to u, write down the time, date and what was said by both of u.... 3rd off take him court and divorce him on the grounds of cheating and get urself a very good solicitor/lawyer and don't leave him do this to u....
don't listen to him what he says, he is trying scare u and will say anything and will do anything to scare u out of given him what he wants, stand up for urself and go 2court, a good judge will see through his sorry ***...
wish u all the best of look with that also ....
2007-06-08 03:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by Mum of1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know you have to have an attorney, get a good one and he will sort through all the bs for you. dont let him rattle you because thats w hat everyone does when they get a divorce- try to scare each other and make dumb threats of what they are going to do. he dosnt even know if he can legally do what he is threating , but hes just got no life and the only kicks hes getting is from jerkin your chains. dont let him have any inkling of whats goin on in your mind, when he makes threats just say, is that so! oh alright- and ask him to stop telling you what hes going to do- have him tell his attorney and let them handle it..besides if you get a lawyer- he will help you scare the bejesus out of him.. tell your ex you found shitloads of gay porn and people he had been chatting with on your computer- and your dying to bring that to court for a laugh! it might shut him up!
2007-06-08 05:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by taco_mel_1964 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well isnt he a bloody charmer??i know you feel frustrated and backed into a hole, also the shock of realising that the man who promised to love and cherish you turns out to be a lunatic..sorry but i have many more words for him in my head that i couldnt put down here,, but you need to fight back and you need to be nastier than he could ever possibly be!! this creep sounds like he will stop at nothing so for you and your sons sake, get a lawyer, start dishing up dirt and give him a real fight for what he wants cos you really must be up the walls with worry!! i wish you all the luck with this,, really i do!!
2007-06-14 09:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by trinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the best lawyer you can find. Get someone who comes recommended by friends who went through similar experiences. Use your lawyer as your bulldog in this dogfight. And don't be afraid to stand up to your husband legally - he will gloat about all your legal fees but it will be costing him too. If he turns it into a game of chicken, don't back down.
2007-06-14 04:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a good lawyer that is specialised in this kind of case.
Your husband is just trying to make himself look good for all the wrong he has done.
You are so much better off without him.
Good Luck!
2007-06-14 03:45:09 · answer #11 · answered by sabb_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋