family problems....can u help?

Question

Hi.I am 14 and have been having a lot of problems in the family lately.In the last year my parents have been arguing a lot.My two sisters are constantly fighting for attention,and dont even get a look in.My parents hardly talk to me,unless they are telling me off.I talk to a friend(48)and an aunt(44)about whats happening,and they both say they are really worried about me.I seem to have lost my appetite,loosing1.5st in a month and dont talk much anymore.My biggest sister has now started lieing to get the attention of my parents,she always tells them that i have done stuff first it was small things,but it has grown to bigger stuff now such as me taking drugs.I have never touched any,but my parents seem to belive my sister.My little sister is always hitting me and keeps telling me she hates me and the family would be better off without me.My parents seem to take less interest in me,not listening to me,but tell me that they dont like me talking to the two adults i do.what can i do?plz help

i do trust both my aunt, and her friend, very much...and was getting on quite well with my mum, until my sister told her that i was on cocaine and smoke weed...now if she says anything to me it's bad

my mum know how i feel, as i have told her everything, but talking to her now just doesn't work, she turns up the music, or walks away...she also knows that i have a problem sleeping at the moment, but again doesn't seem interested...

Answer 1

Try to talk more to your aunt. You are loosing your appitite from stress but your parents are wrapped up in their problems right now to notice. You need to try to chat to your mum or dad (whichever one you get on with the best) and be honest with them Ask them to stay calm and hear you out. Work out what you are going to say first, maybe even writing it down.
Send me an email whenever you just need to talk. My parents split up when I was 13 so I know what its like. I will be happy to give you support and advice anytime you need it.
Take care

Answer 2

well that's a very difficult life u r having... as a child of 14 years u deserve the care and love of ur parents...
it is at this age that u need them more and they are ignoring u...
but at least i am happy that u realise that ur sisters are wrong and ur parents too...
i hope u become a better person in life...
now about how to help??? u said u r talking to a friend and ur aunt...
cant any of them keep u at their place until u r about 20... when u start working u will become independent and u can find ur own home...
or may be there is a place where children neglected by parents are being kept...
i know it's not a gd place but these seem to be the only options...
another thing u could do is staying where u r but u spend most of the time in libraries studying...
concentrate on ur studies... let ur other family members do what they want...
it's a very disturbing environment i know but u have to be courageous and i must say u r quite mature since u have the courage to write all these here...
so be a brave guy, concentrate on studies, do not care about others and be a successful person and escape from this hell...
that's teh only way u r going to be happy... difficult and will take some time but u can easily achieve it!
gd luck and if u need to talk to someone i am here to help u and advise...
ok!

Answer 3

Tell your parents in some way.
Ask your adult friend if she or he could arrange an appointment with a therapist for the whole family.
It sounds like your parents are being selfish twits. They also sound like the will probably break up. I feel sorry for you I went through the same thing but I was doing drugs, and the crime and all the worst stuff a kid can do.
Your sisters need someone to blame so I think that they are blaming you, even though you are not to blame. Always remember that you are not to blame.
Parents forget that their children have feeling and by doing so really screw up their kids.
Take it to heart that people out there care about you even if you are a stranger.

Please keep your head and continue to be a good kid.
Good luck

Answer 4

There is a definite need for professional intervention. Is it possible you can go to live with your aunt for a little while? Your parents are wrapped up in their own problems and they aren't realizing the affect they're having on their kids. Someone has to make them see that.

Do you have a school counselor you can talk to? You talk to your aunt and her friend and they worry about you but they may feel limited in being able to help you. A school counselor may be able to make other things happen from a professional standpoint. If the kids are being affected by conditions in the home, the couneslor has connections with various agencies that may be able to intervene.

I know this is not an easy situation for you and one day you'll look back and see the lesson in it all but for now, regardless of what your appetite is, eat. You need to stay healthy so you can cope better with your situation. Pray and ask God and the Angels to send help. Things will get better.

Answer 5

I am not sure how it works in your school, usually one can go and talk to the school counsellor or the nurse. Try that, they may be able to help you.
Also you might want to consider what you want to do in life (to earn a living) because it may be better for you to leave your parents house early and you would need to be able to support yourself in the long run as well as continue your studies. You can talk about these things with the counsellor too, they are trained to tell you your talents and help you choose a career path... you can also enroll in a highschool where you would receive training for a profession as well as the usual highschool subjects (e.g. nursing or assistant nurse training is possible, I think it is also in demand now; if you hate hospitals do an esthetician course, that is also in demand - for old people, for patients in clinics, etc..). You can also actively look for a training place or a job yourself, just be carefull not to do anything that would put you in danger.

One last thing, why not try to have more friends? You might find friends help a lot more than parents sometimes...

Good luck!

Answer 6

You talk of an Aunt - what about a grandparent; are any still living? Maybe it would help if you could have a bit of time out with a relative without your parents and siblings thinking that you are talking about them behind their backs.
If not, as suggested, try "Childline"; it's good to be able to talk to someone removed from the family.
Stick with it little lady - time passes very quickly and so will your problems. Big hugs.

Answer 7

sounds like 'middle child syndrome' although can apply to any sibling.
your parents are obviously having a rough time themselves, no-one argues for hte fun of it, so they may seem a little distracted.
your sisters are just better at getting attention than you, they're female for a start (feminine wyles), and while your parents are too busy between themselves the quiet one who keeps his head down doesn't get noticed.

don't worry, speak to a teacher who you feel you can trust, it does seem a bit odd that you are sharing your emotions with a 48 year old, although perhaps your aunt could have a word for you?

one more thing, you say this has been going on 'lately', how long....weeks, months, years?

Answer 8

So sorry about what's going on in your family; it's very obviously having a terrible affect on your. Talk to your school counselor, tell that person everything that's going on in your home. Someone needs to call protective services; your parents can be forced into counseling, by protective services, and that agency may even be able to place you with a close relative that you're comfortable with. Don't give up, but do keep talking to adults about your situation. Good luck!

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Its not easy but you need to try to talk to them....if they wont listen, could your aunt speak to hem and tell them how you are feeling? They probably are so caught up with everything else they don't realise. Please don't starve yourself - that will make things worse for you. As for your sisters - it is really hard to believe but most people your age with sisters/brothers have the same things going on. It doesn't make things any easier for you though. Good luck - don't keep this all to yourself. You are just as important as anyone else in all this and you have to make them see that.