Does age really matters?

Question

I'll be 32 next month and my girlfriend is 19. We have been together for two years and I am thinking of taking this relationship to the next step. We have talked about this 13 years gap but she insisted that she prefers older men than young men and she is looking forward for my birthday next month.

We share a lot in common and we always have a great laugh. She always ask me when I'm going to marry her and have my babies. I want to settle down with her but I'm concerned with her age. Age does not matter to me but I'm worried that if we settled down and probably have babies, later she might leave to experience life or cheat on me. What do you think guys?

Answer 1

If you love this girl, tell her you will marry her after she graduates from college.

College will help her to mature and figure out what she wants from life. Then you can be much more certain that she is making a decision based on real life expectations.

Answer 2

I think you are right to have concerns......for two reasons..

1. She in her own right is so young [regardless of your respective age]....does she really know what she wants...she is barely more than a kid in som many ways and has so much living to do....is settling down with kids now really a good idea for her?

2. The age difference at the moment is no difficulty at all....you are a healthy athletic guy.....but give it a few years and why she is still blossoming there is no doubt that age will start to catch up with you...and your outlook and get up and go might diminish as a result.....that's when the age gap will become prominent....

In 10 years she will still be in her 20s and you will be in your 40s.......and with say 3 youngish kids running around......

I know I will be shot down as love should win through...but I am not sure kids for the two of you given the age gap is sensible...being together seems fine....

Good luck.....

Answer 3

Advice from experience. At 32 I had been in the military and visited a lot of countries. I dated a lot of women from all over the place and experienced a life I knew many of my high school and college friends had not. Most that married out of high school or college are divorced.

People go through stages in life. At 19 she has not done much, has not traveled places, and probably has not been out with too many guys. Excitement about life is about individuals you meet and associate. She may think she is ready for that 15 minutes of fame (getting married) because of all the hipe and glamour but after the honeymoon comes the reality of living.

I meet a lot of women in grocery stores, the malls, at work, etc., not going there at all for that. Think about her life at 19 (all the places she goes daily with opportunity) and meeting, not just guys, and thinking am I in the life I really want. Their life seems so much more exciting and I think I would like to do that someday.

You have a big, big gap between 19 and 32, in your experiences alone, so, think about this one.

Answer 4

Marriage is built on trust and character. No one can predict that for you. there are many older men married to younger women that are perfectly happy. As long as you give and take in a marriage and treat the marriage as a partnership with a lot of love, compassion and sympathy you should be OK. I think another secret in a happy marriage is that you should have common interests because when the first part of a relationship cools down you will still have something in common. Think well. Think Deeply and you should not go wrong. Good luck and every happiness. :)

Answer 5

well personally I don't really care about the age thing cause I too prefer older men. I mean my Gran was 15 when she got married to my grandad who was 45 at the time so i don't have a problem with it unless its like a 20 year old with a 70 year old or something like that, all that matters is your love for each other. I can understand that your having doubts, cause I mean she's still sort of young and naiive, I always thought if you like 21 years old than your really capable for making good decisions. But I do think she loves you and you love her dearly too. What I personally think the best thing for you to do is to talk to her about this, cause one of the worst things in life to later regret the choice you made, cause I mean this is affecting you and possibly you children in the future if the worst happens. Talk to her, explain to her the situation, in a relationship you both should be able to talk to each other and not lie. She sounds like she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, and I hope you are both really happy, and I hope that you both works this out, and if the worst does happen, don't look back at this with any regret, look at it like some mistake that you made and hopefully learnt from. I personally believe that everything happens for e reason. But I don't believe that she will cheat on you. Good luck with everyhting and happy birthday for next month, I hope you sort this out before then.

Answer 6

age is just a number...if she's mature enough and you get on and have stuff in common (which it sounds like you do), then go for it. the best relationship i've ever had was with a guy 23 years older...it worked out much better than with guys my age and if she prefers older men there should be no greater chance of her cheating on you. i know that i especially wouldn't cheat on an older guy because i have more respect for them. if it's her decision to settle down and marry as well then i think you should be fine. good luck!

Answer 7

I am completely not against an age gap in a relationship. However in this case, I think a 19 yr old girl is to young to marry anyone. People that young haven't worked things out yet in my experience.
I would say give it time. Even in general standards, 2 years isn't that long.

Answer 8

Thats great that the 2 of you have so much in common but you need to stop and think about when she turns 21 will she want to be out all the time with her friends. Is she in school right now or in the future will she want to go and if so will she regret not being able to live on campus if you guys get married. I am happy that you have found each other and my man and I are 8yrs apart him being older and sometimes I find that we are from 2 different worlds. But it can work SO i wish you all the best of luck

Answer 9

I had a boyfriend who was 31 when I was 19. we split up because he had to move back to spain, but even now I would marry him if we had stayed together and I think of him all the time. Age doesn't matter, love matters.

In all honesty, however, I would wait another year, at least until she's 20 because big changes happen within ourselves during that time and teenagers still have idealism. I think we fugure ourselves out more as we enter our very early 20s. I doubt you would be taking anything away from her, just let her be free and keep trusting her.

Answer 10

Your right that she may leave you later on to make up for what she didn't do now. Not all girls are like that. Some marry older men and are happy forever. Some are just looking for a free ride right now so they don't have to work. Some want to get out of their parent's home because they don't like the rules. Be very careful with your decision to marry a young woman.

Answer 11

You started dating when she was 17 and you were 30? She was either in high school or just barely graduated! What in the world were you thinking?

What do you consider the "next step"? Sex? Marriage?

Give her some time to grow up and become her own person. If, after a few more years and time to go to college and work for a bit, you both still want to be with each other, then go for it.