Should I get my sister-in-law pregnant?

Question

Yes, I asked this question a couple of days ago, but only got a few responses and would like more thoughtful input...

Okay, my brother and his wife decided a long time ago to not have childern. My brother goes and gets clipped, problem solved, right? Wrong, 14 years later and two attempts at a reversal later, they want to have a child. So they ask me to donate sperm and I am okay with this, but they do not want to pay the doctor fees, they just want me to have sex with her until she gets pregnant, and my brother is okay with this!! He said that since I was his brother and it was not some kind of affair. Am I just being too old fashioned to not want to have sex with my sister in law even though it is just to help them have a baby? She is very attractive, so no comments about how she looks.

Answer 1

Personally, I think it is rather unfair to put you on the spot (obviously, my Biblical reference was of no real help for you).

Do you feel that you are doing something wrong or immoral?

I admit that in vitro is not that efficient or effective and a "live donor" is a bettter way to go.

What do you feel is the best way to go? Let me ask this additional question: what if you cannot get her pregnant? Will your brother think it was just a free ride for sex?

Only you can make the final decision. I will be bold and say "help your brother and sister in law"

Answer 2

That is such a strange situation. I know wanting a child badly can make people do things they normally would not do, but this?!? It is a situation that will never go away. You sleep with his wife, and it could take a long time to get the deed done because it took a year of trying for me and my husband to get pregnant. Then after the baby is born, it will be extra weird because you will be daddy uncle. How could you see them with your child and not have any strange feelings. Then your sister in law and brother would feel strange knowing you were sleeping with her. I can't imagine my brother in law being the father of my child - it's just so odd!! I would just say no, nothing good can come from it other than a baby being born under strange circumstances. If they really want a baby, suggest adoption - there are so many unwanted children in the world. Good luck!!

Answer 3

So let me get this straight: you cheated on the wife you supposedly love with her own sister. You don't care a hoot about this sister-in-law and did not take any precautions and are now in the process of being the father of a child you probably don't care about either. Wow, that is pretty low. First, your responsibility is also towards the sister in law now if she decides to keep the child. Secondly, you have an obligation to be a supportive father towards that child. It would be nice if you could have a relationship with the child as well though somehow I am doubtful that would happen. At least you need to provide for it. Third, you need to tell your wife, ask her forgiveness and see how it goes. If she leaves there is nothing you can do, you brought it on yourself. In the future think about long term effects your actions can have before just jumping in a moment of self-centered bliss.

Answer 4

I think it is a very touchy subject. Have you ever thought of the problems that could arise from all this? I mean if you start having sex with her you may end up falling in love with her or her with you. Or more than all, your brother may feel some jealousy, especially when the baby is born because you will be the biological father and you never know - you might want to have some say so in the life of this baby. Right now the idea may sound exciting or exotic, but the truth is you could end up ruining your brothers marriage.

Think about it!

Answer 5

There are two ways of looking at it-

1. You go along with their thinking, do whatever is asked of you and get over with it. In the process, u help them out and also get to sleep with your attractive sis-in-law as an extra.

The only risk here is that it may alter ur relations and feelings for her forever.

Now that is something that requires hard thinking and perhaps only u can actually answer that question truly.

Therefore u have to weigh this option carefully.

2. There is nothing wrong about the way u think. Its not old fashioned or something. I say u are playing safe and being sensible and pragmatic about it.


Take some time......think carefully and do not come under any pressure. Its ur life and u need to make informed decisions about it.

2. Nothing wrong with the way u are thinking

Answer 6

The two of them have sat down in private and discussed this. You can bet they have gone over between them the ramifications of asking another man to impregnate her. You can also bet that you were not the only one on the list of guys they'd consider asking. Why'd they choose you. Probably because your brother trusts you. Doesn't believe you'll carry on an illicit affair with his wife behind his back. How about the fact that biologically speaking, the child will have the same DNA match from you as from him. His wife must also feel comfortable and safe with you.
The one thing I'd caution you about is to make sure this is documented, legally if possible. If their marriage should ever break up... do you want to be the one paying child support?

Answer 7

I am going to have to say a big NO on this one. There are too many "what if's".

What if she doesn't get pregnant?
What if it causes problems with your brother?
What if they divorce, will she come after you for child support?
What if you develop feelings for her?
What if she develops feelings for you?

In all of this, have you thought everything through. I just think that this situation could cause too many problems, from the relationship with your brother, to the relationship with her as a sis in law, to marital problems for them. The one thing that has stood out for me is that you find her attractive--which means there are underlying subconscious emotions that are of attraction--there are "arousal" factors, which could lead to emotions and that is what will cause the problems. Do they have a trusted friend that ISN'T you? What about adoption? I think that this is ground that you shouldn't tread and you are better to keep this one a big no. Because you value the relationships.

Good Luck on what ever you decide!!!

Answer 8

No matter which way you go with this, you would be committing adultery and so would she. You want to answer to God for that on Judgment Day? I sure wouldn't.

I find it appalling that your own brother would even ask you to do something like this. It will definitely explode in your face later in some way so don't take that chance.

You are already uncomfortable with it and that alone says you should not do it. If they want a child, they need to adopt. There are alot of children out there that need a good, loving home and they should take a couple of them in and make life good for all of them.

After this, I would even be uncomfortable donating sperm for their baby. Stay loyal to yourself first and don't let others sway you into doing things you aren't comfortable with or things that are sinful and against God's law.

God bless you.

Answer 9

Infertility can be very frustrating, and can make you extremely desparate.
But if you don't feel comfortable with having sex with her, then try ejaculating into a cup and using a syringe or even a turkey baster...lol. Try that a couple of times see if that works. I know it sounds odd...but, hey it just may work. If it does problem solved...she's knocked up and you don't have to live with the guilt of having sex with your brothers wife.

Answer 10

This is way too much.

I would say DON'T do it. Tell him if he really wants this kid, then they need to come up with the cash.

Besides, if something ever happens and they split, you could be financially responsible for this kid!

I think it's very generous of you to be willing to help them, but I don't know that I would go as far as having sex with her in order to save a buck or two.

Tell him to get over his cheapness and realize that this would cost you much more than he will ever spend in money.

Your relationship with your sister in law as you know it would be over. Things would be completely awkward between the two of you, and it could grow into something that neither of you want.

I do not know how well you and your brother get along, but I can think of one horrible scenario....

He gets miffed about the two of you and your repeated romps....he says he is sick of this "affair" and you two are using the kid thing as an excuse to have sex...bingo...ruined friendship with her and with him....

Above all else...what would your girlfriend say, if you had one?

No woman in their right mind will put up with you having sex with your sister in law, for any reason!

Tell him no! If he respects you, he will understand.