My husband beats me. Why?

Question

His other wife just smiles, the cow I hate her. I'm thinking of poisioning her and him if he carries on. Am I right in thinking they would die suffering?

Answer 1

Your husband beats you may know better,
However, you just keep your mouth off and just love him, hope he will not beat you and love you much
bye bye
Aziz Malik
[e-mail]

Answer 2

I remember reading some eighteenth century philosophy one time. In it there was some advice for men that said you need to beat your wife once in a while to make sure she knows who's boss and to keep her obedient. In today's society of course that is a bizarre sort of advice.

But if you think about it from the perspective of the time, there is some truth to it. At the time a wife was no different from any of a man's other possessions, a dog, some livestock, that sort of thing. And in those days too one didn't think positively. It wasn't the practice to praise people and be encouraging, it was the practice where strength ruled.

In Western society that has changed a lot of course. Beating wife is a criminal offense and can get you jailed. Philosophy has also changed, it's been shown that more can accomplished with kindness than with brutality. Unfortunately those attitudes and laws aren't present all over the world, some countries and some cultures still follow the old ways. What's unfortunate too is that despite an enlightened attitude in the west, there are still beatings too usually perpetrated by those who grew up in an abusive household because having grown up that way, they they feel this is the way to live.

Sure you could poison that cow of a wife and the husband and send them through a painful journey to an early grave. But what will that do for you? Briefly you'll feel better and then the authorities will take you away for your own execution.

I think a better approach is to just divorce. That's already a terrible punishment because it publicly shows that this husband is not worth staying with, that he doesn't know how to treat a wife properly. And of course that sets you free to find yourself a husband who does care and who will respect and appreciate you. I realize this may not be an easy solution, but it is a solution that leaves you alive and eventually happy.

Answer 3

It is not clear if you were the first wife or his second. If you are the first to come to his house, what did you lack that attracted him to a second wife? For how long have you been married to him? Are there kids in your marriage and how many? These thigns need clarifications. Now, irrespective of your position in the marriage, you do not deserve being beaten by any husband for whatever reason. The 'whys' are not important now. If he is no longer interested in you and his religious conviction permits it let him divorce you rather than kill or maim you. I hope you are not that religious as to prefer death to divorce. Obviously, he does not want you or he has been bewitched to hate you. Whatever the case may be, I think you need a break from him. Dont even contemplate poisoning them at all especially that they are legally married. It is equally myopic to think that they would die suffering when you are not God. That thought would only make you more bitter, injuring yourself. Obviously, they are happy now together or at leats are pretending to be. Dont be a complete looser by killing yourself. It is not worth it dying for a guy like that. Move out of that relationship and get on with your life. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you are still beautiful, young, capable of love and intelligent. Explore your life somewhere else with or without a husband. By all means 'life is good.' When you work on yourself and eventually shine you may become a heroine that the same guy would cringe to. Watch it, you only need to work on your self esteem. Leave those people alone. You may also consult with your pastor if you think otherwise. Cheers.

Answer 4

there are no simple answers to a question like this. i hear your pain and desperation, and wish i could help. why does your husband do this? there could be many reasons. i think it often comes down to him wanting power and control. but regardless of the reason, please know that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for his actions. it is not because of how you look, or what you do, or who you are (even if this is what he says). by his actions, your husband proves he doesn't know the truth or love.

but revenge is not the answer. would you truly be free if you had murder on your conscience? i pray you are in a place and have the opportunity to seek help from the authorities. is there a women's shelter or even some friends you could go to? i realize this step may seem impossible, to leave and possibly divorce your husband. but if you take the courage to stand up, you may give hope to other Muslim sisters in the same situation.

there are no easy solutions, but i pray God shows you the way out of this captivity and gives you the strength for the journey.

Answer 5

Do u think that it is nice 2 be in an abusive relationship? Yor husband doesn't respect u & therefore doesn't deserve 2 be respected either! U should immediately leave him 4 good. U'll find millions of beautiful ppl around u who r worth caring 4. Don't put yorself into trouble by killing him or his other wife.

Answer 6

Oh gosh now if this is a wind up
i don't think your being very sensitive to all the woman out there that get beatings everyday of there life's
if this is true and you are thinking of killing to people because you are getting beaten you are big enough to pick up and go you need help think maybe a few brain cells have dislodged go find a therapist please
Respect
shaz

Answer 7

Did you ever think why? The answer is in your hands. What do you do to deserve beating? Nothing? Sorry but I won't buy it. Are you too ugly? Don't you want to have sex? There must be a problem about you. Why doesn't he beat the other woman?

Try to be a real woman. Satisfy him more. Don't talk too much. Don't winge. It may help him change his attitude...

Killing them will not change anything. You will go to jail and the other women there (inmates) will beat you too.

Answer 8

how about leaving ? take your children your pets and anything you care about a disappear to a woman's shelter and start again , you don't have to put up with this or your husbands other wife , poisoning her is a waist of time the moment u leave he will beat her. your are more than him and all this , get some qualifications and make something of your life

Answer 9

He beats you cause he can. Your law allows it and so do you. I doubt they would die suffering, but I am sure you would suffer in jail or how ever they handle murder in your country.
If I was you, I'd knock him in the head with a good cast iron skillet next time he raises his hand to you. I'd use what ever I could get my hands on. See how he likes it.

Answer 10

What the hell is the matter with you? He is already married to some other broad, beating you and you want to kill them?

You need major help lady! If you were a tiny bit intelligent, you would get the hell away from him, run to Police and file for divorce!

YOU CANNOT COMMIT A MURDER! YOU CANNOT BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE THAT'S ALREADY MARRIED AND YOU CANNOT LET SOMEBODY BEAT YOU!

I don't think you should have even written that.

Answer 11

i'm not married so i cant fully understand. i know break up's are hard but divorse- ooh...
your husband has two wives, that must be a terrible situation &then he hits you on top of that.
i dont know were you live &what the rules are in your country but if you kill them, your situation will just be a million times worse because you will get arrested.
cant you leave him?
or learn kick boxing &wen he lifts his hand to you, knock his teeth out...